Bella’s WW – A Decision

As you guys know, I’ve been really struggling for quite some time with not really losing weight.  One week I’m up 2 lbs, the next week I lose 2, then I gain 0.5, then I lose 1.3 and so on.  The net result is that in the last year and a half, I’ve actually gained weight.  I weigh more now that I did last year at this time.  Like 20 lbs more.  Yet I’ve been following WW, tracking my points, exercising, etc.

Part of the problem is consistency, I know, but the other part of the problem is that I get so frustrated, depressed, and upset because overall, I’m following WW and exercising, yet I’m not losing weight.  Overall, I measure my food, I track it, and I get in all of the healthy guidelines.  (Sure, there are times when I have a binge episode, but those are few and far between, and shouldn’t effect my weight loss in a significant way).  I’m exercising and being more active now that I ever have been, yet the pounds just aren’t coming off.

I’ve been to the doctor twice in the last year to have a full blood work done, and both times, nothing showed up.  All of my levels (thyroid, hormone, blood pressure, etc) are all within the normal ranges.  Which is great, except it doesn’t leave me with any answers about why I can’t seem to lose weight.

I believe in WW because it is a lifestyle program that works for people.  I adore the online tools, the recipes, and the ease.  I don’t want to totally give up WW, but when I’m honest with myself, I haven’t been successful with it.  The last time I saw any significant weight loss was when I was fasting and then when I was doing Medifast.  But those are quick fixes that do not last, as evidenced by my current weight.  So I don’t want to do anything drastic like that, but I do think it’s time for some sort of change.

I spent an hour talking to my mom about all of this, which was huge for me, because although she’s a huge supporter of mine, I haven’t really felt like I could be honest with her about my weight.  I mean, of course she can look at me and see I’ve regained the weight, but I hate disappointing her, so my weight is always a very sensitive topic.  Finally today I was honest with her and told her about the weight gain, about the depression I feel because of it, and about my complete and utter frustration with the whole thing.  (I didn’t tell her exactly how much I weigh, but I did say that I’m well over 250 pounds).  She was so empathetic and so supportive, which is how she always is.  The thing that didn’t happen was that she didn’t react negatively when I finally confessed the weight gain.  She didn’t judge me at all.  She just said she was concerned for me, because she knows how hard I’m working.  It was a great conversation, and at the end of it, I decided a few things.

I’m going to continue to follow WW, but I’m going to modify it.  Right now, at my weight, WW says I should get 33 Points (1650 calories) a day.  In addition, I get 35 “flex Points” (1750 calories) to use throughout the week, if I want to.  I think that’s just too many calories for my body.  I know that all the programs say that someone who weighs 288 pound should eat around 1800 calories, but it’s just too much food.  I struggle to get the 33 Points in when I’m eating healthy, and sometimes having those extra Points left to eat sends me into binge mode, which is never good.  (When that happens, I end up consuming much more than the 33 Points, and I dip into or eat all the flex Points, and then some).

So, my modification for the next month is that I’m going to eat 28 Points a day (1400 calories) and see what happens.  I’m going to continue to get in all of the healthy guidelines – 5 servings of fruits and veggies, 2 calcium servings,  1-2 lean proteins, whole grains, 6-8 glasses of water, 2 tsp of healthy oil, multivitamin and 30 minutes of activity.  (These are all minimums). Reducing my Points by 5 each day will help my caloric burn and will not put me in any sort of starvation mode.  I may use my 35 flex points during the week, or I may not.

I’m going to try this out and see what happens.  I feel like I need to do something, and this seems a lot less drastic than trying Jenny Craig or Slimfast or something.  This plan helps me feel like I’m taking control of my weight loss, and that’s so important to my success.

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