…came from a teenager!
Imagine that! Most of the time we think of teenagers as difficult, angsty, and disrespectful, right? That’s the stereotype. Luckily, I have never thought of teens that way. Good thing, in my line of work. But for as admirably as I think of them most of the time, even I was shocked by today’s interaction.
I had been circulating around the room, answering questions that students had in their small groups, when all of a sudden, a student asked me a question I had never encountered in my life. Ever. EVER!!
Male Student, J: Ms. Bella, you should model. Do you model? Were you a model?
Me: What?! Seriously? What do you mean? Me? {This wasn’t mock shock, I had no idea what he was saying}
J: No, really. You’re so pretty. We all think so. You should model.
{At this point you could’ve picked up my jaw off the floor. The other students in the group agreed with him, and said they all thought so, too}.
Me: C’mon, are you kidding? No! That’s really very sweet of you to say, but you don’t have to.
J: I’m not kissing your ass at all. I really think so. So many students do. Whenever we talk about you, they always say, “Ms. Bella? You mean the ‘model-looking’ one?” And we all know that it’s true. You’re beautiful.
Me: {Blushing, which I NEVER do} Wow. Just…WOW! You are really too nice. I think I have three things working against me with this whole modeling career: 1) my height, 2) my weight, and 3) my age.
J: Naw, Miss! You’re still so beautiful, none of that other stuff matters. Really. REALLY.
I have to say that now I have experienced the phrase “you could’ve knocked me over with a feather” live and in person. I don’t think this student was hitting on me or flirting, because I think he might bat for the other team, but also, it wasn’t said in that way. And when the girls and other guys in the group chimed in, too, I was just floored, flabbergasted, and flummoxed. I have never received a compliment like this from a student in my entire teaching career. It made me feel great, and confident, and self-assured. I felt PRETTY, hell, I felt BEAUTIFUL.
On my good days, I do think of myself as pretty or even beautiful, but I’ve never really expected students to think that about me. I’m known for being a tough, rigorous, fair, fun, engaging, energetic teacher. Not the pretty one. So it was sort of cool to get this kind of compliment, since it is so far from my normal school persona.
The nicest thing was, it was so unexpected. It was completely out of the blue and it meant so much because I know he was just being honest.
I’m not relaying this to brag. I’m sharing it because I want to make the point that a simple compliment can make a huge impact in someone’s life. When he and the other students kept insisting, it made me feel like I got a glimpse into the way I might feel about myself when I lose all the weight. (Not that I’m saying that skinny = beauty, because it doesn’t). I just mean that I felt amazing, body and spirit. I felt like a model, if only for a moment. It was stunning. And all because this teenage boy took the time to say something that was on his mind. So the next time you think someone’s outfit is cute, or their hair looks nice, or that they look beautiful or ARE beautiful, tell them. It is guaranteed to make them walk a little prouder, stand a little taller, and feel a little better. Guaranteed.
I’ll walk on a cloud through Friday after this one. Honestly, I think this is going to be what I think of to inspire me on my weight loss path. I want to keep feeling the way that I did today, and one way to do that is to make the right choices, because I’m worth it. I AM BEAUTIFUL. I deserve it. Thank you J, you have no idea how much you made my day week year.
Bella, they are right, you are beautiful!!!
What’s so cool is that these kids didn’t feel the need to stick to our societal norms of what beautiful is. They didn’t get caught up in what’s portrayed by the media. They defined beauty for themselves. It made me feel so proud of them.
What makes you beautiful is so much more than looks, but also how giving you are, caring, how much you love, and all that and more can make you more of a beautiful person so it shines through inside-and-out.
What a fantastic feeling! You know what I think? Your students get to know you inside AND out, and they see that your inner beauty shines through your outer beauty. And they certainly don’t need to blow smoke up your butt if they DON’T think you’re beautiful, which makes the compliment that much more flattering and fun. Bask in it, and know that your students aren’t the only ones who think you’re beautiful!
I think the best compliment I’ve gotten on my weight loss was from my eldest graddaughter, who, after not seeing me for months, fit saw me after about 90 pounds were gone, and out of her mouth popped, “Damn, Russell, eat a cheeseburger already.” Most of the people I interact with, I see on a semi-daily basis, so they see the process incrementally, it’s those I see every few months that all go WOW!
And I wish I knew more of you than just your last few weeks of blog posts, I’d probably say the same thing the others are saying, that you were always beautiful, and it’s great the rest of the people in your world are catching up to that reality.
It’s true. You’re gorgeous!!
Awww, thank you!!
Wow! That is a woooonderful compliment! How awesome for him/them to say that, but hey YES, you are that gorgeous!
That would have made me day/week/year too. What a great teenager, I hope my newly teened son will be like that.