Happy Monday, Everyone! I almost skipped today’s FMM because of the subject, but then I decided that it was time to stop avoiding the whole issue of dating, as I’ve been doing for the last couple of years. This one definitely challenged me, which is good to do every now and then, right?
If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!
FMM: All The Single Ladies (and Gents)
1. What is your current relationship status? Are you happy with that status? Single. I’ve been single for so long that sometimes I do wonder if I’m meant to meet “the one,” or even “the maybe.” For the last few years I’ve put dating on the extreme back burner in pursuit of my goals, especially weight loss goals. Still, even though it’s been my choice not to date, I’m not sure how many interested parties I’d find if I was “out there.”
2. Do you find it enjoyable to take care of someone in addition to yourself, or do you prefer to be responsible only for yourself? In the past I’ve chosen people who needed someone to care for them – more than what was healthy. It’s one of the things I’m working on with my therapist – how to allow myself to find someone who doesn’t need me to be in control. To be ok with compromise, etc. So, I’d like to answer, that yes, I’d prefer to be responsible only for myself. Although I love being able to show my love through cooking and doing other nice things for the other person.
3. What’s the most important physical characteristic in your mate/potential mate? A good-looking face. I’m attracted to people with olive skin and dark hair (like me).
4. What’s the most important (non-physical) characteristic in your mate/potential mate? I’m looking for that rare combination of characteristics that includes someone who is young at heart, down to earth, and fun to be around. I like guys that are quick-witted and funny. I like someone with ambition and drive. And I also like someone whom I can trust and who will be honest with me. Is that too much? Maybe that’s why I’m single.
5. Is it important to you that your significant other have the same hobbies and interests as you? I actually think it makes it more fun to have some different interests, so that we can learn more from each other. Plus, it gives us separate outlets so that we’re not spending every waking minute together. Of course, I do think that we should share some of the same hobbies and interests, otherwise we won’t have much in common.
6. If you could go out on a date with a celebrity who would it be? You guys are expecting me to say Johnny Depp, and while he would be fun to date, I’m going to go a bit unexpected. I’ve been doing an American film unit with my classes, and we’re currently watching Godfather, Part 2 (yes, I had parental permission slips), and to me, there is really no one better looking than a young Robert DeNiro:
But ok, ok, there’s no way to time travel and date a young DeNiro, so if I have to choose a current celebrity, I guess I’d say yes to going out with
Yes, that’s Joe Manganiello. Of True Blood and Spider Man fame. Another Italian boy. See a pattern? Of course this one is taller and has more muscles…I guess I can work with that.
7. What’s your idea of a good first date? Anything but dinner and a movie, which is just so cliche. Plus, it’s hard to get to know someone while you’re sitting in a dark theatre. I think movies are great dates, but after you’ve gotten to know the person a bit. Doing something active is always fun so that if there is a bit of a lull in the conversation, we still have something else to do. I like guys to show thought and be creative, so I’d really be up for most things.
8. Are there any traits/habits that you’d consider a deal breaker? Not having a job would absolutely be a deal breaker. I’d prefer the person I’m dating to be at least as successful as I am. It’s not about the money, but about the drive and commitment. And, ok, it’s not really difficult to make as much money as I do, since I’m a teacher, so it is about the money, a little bit.
9. Okay ladies…Facial Hair: Yes, or No? Sure, I’m fine with it. Probably not a full on Zach Galifianakis beard, but something more trimmed and neat would be just fine.
10. Would you marry someone who is opposed to diamond engagement rings? If the guy is so counterculture that he opposes diamond engagement rings, we probably don’t have enough in common to even date, let alone be at that point.
11. What do you wish you could do differently in your next relationship? Gosh, it’s been so long since I’ve been in a relationship that this is hard to answer. In general in my life I’m working on being less controlling, so I’m sure that would be one. And as independent as I am, I sometimes get a bit needy in terms of wanting the person to show me attention (calls, emails, etc), so maybe that, too. In other words, I’m often the one showing more affection. I hate feeling like I like the guy more than he likes me. So in my next relationship, I’d like it to be at least 50-50, or skewed a bit in my favor, maybe, with him liking me a touch more than I like him.
12. Is there anyone from your past that you’d like to date again now? I used to think that I wanted to get back together with my first real love, the guy I was engaged to, but I’ve recently realized that I was just idealizing that relationship. I do think that everything happens for a reason, and I’m sure that him breaking it off with me was for the best (this is all said in hindsight, it’s taken years to come to this). So, no. No looking backward for me – only forward progress.
13. Describe your worst first date story ever. OMG! I could write a book. Seriously, for a while there in the early 2000s I was doing quite a bit of online dating and I dated some real doozies. Like the guy that had ADD and a huge swastika tattoo, which covered his entire back. He took me bowling and to Mexican food in Japantown (you can imagine how good that was), and got really upset when I wouldn’t let him kiss me at the end of the date. *shudder* And that’s one of the good ones.
14. Describe the perfect date with your significant other. I don’t think there is one perfect date. I think it’s a feeling you get from the other person where you look around you and realize that you wouldn’t want to be doing anything but exactly what you’re doing in that moment. That’s perfect.
15. Would you date someone shorter than you? Well, since I’m 5″3′, it’s difficult to find someone shorter than me. (Although back in those online dating days, there was one guy who was my exact height, if you can believe it). So, no. I actually prefer a much taller guy, around 6″ or so.
16. Share one (or a few) bonus traits that would be fun to find in an significant other (even if they aren’t as important as other traits.) I’d love to date someone who was Italian (in case you couldn’t guess) and maybe from the East Coast. I love the accents from the outer NYC area, as well as Boston. There’s something about being Italian that only other Italians really understand. And I think my personality is more like those you’d find on the East Coast – there’s an intensity to me that most of the people I know just don’t understand.
17. What’s one thing you’d like to do with a significant other that you’ve never done with another? I’ve done a lot of different things with the guys I’ve dated over the years….Hmmm, maybe have it last? That would be new.
18. PDA: Yes, or No? Sure, a little is nice. Nothing graphic or inappropriate, though.
19. Do you kiss on the first date? Why not? If we’re both feeling it.
20. Who, if anyone, makes your heart flutter? No fluttering for this heart, at the moment.
Now it’s your turn to share. Don’t forget to go back to Kenlie’s blog to link up in the comments!