Now it’s time for Friend Makin’ Monday (FMM).

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

I’m especially interested in this week’s theme because it was my idea.  Kenlie was so sweet and used many of the questions that I suggested.  So, thank you, Kenlie!  It’s all about makeup – one of my favorite topics.  Sometimes I think that I could have been a makeup artist in a former life.  And I KNOW makeup is in my blood because my grandmother worked for over 30 years at the makeup counters at Emporium (when that store was still around).  My mom is a master with makeup, and taught me much of what I know, although she is amazing at eyeshadow and that never rubbed off on me.

FMM: Makeup Faves

1. Do you wear makeup everyday? Yes, almost without fail.  On the weekends I do a lighter version of my daily routine, but I like the coverage it gives me.
2. Does your routine change if you’re going out with friends/on a date/to a party? If so, how? The only real changes would be that I take a bit more time in the application and I use a bolder lip or a more dramatic cat’s eye.
3. Are you loyal to one brand, or do you use different brands for different things? I’m really loyal to Bare Escentuals, now that I’ve found it again.  It offers me excellent coverage that looks light and natural.  And it’s good for my skin.
4. Do you wear primer/concealer? If so, what’s your favorite kind?  I use a BE primer and sometimes I put on a their Well Rested concealer under my eyes.  If I have a blemish, I use Summer Bisque to mask it.
5. What’s your favorite brand of foundation? Bare Escentuals – there’s just no comparison for my skin.
6. Do you use blush and/or bronzer?  I use both.  For the bronzer, I use BE’s Faux Tan, and I really do think it helps me contour my cheekbones and make my face appear slightly slimmer.  I use lots of different BE blushes on the apples of my cheeks, but most often I use Golden Gate or Hint.
7. Do you wear eye shadow/eye liner?  If so, what’s your favorite kind? (Are you liking the theme here? ) I use Loreal liquid eyeliner because it has a brush applicator.  Most people find brushes more difficult to work with, but for me, it’s so much easier than the felt tip pens.  I’ve tried every liquid eyeliner under the sun (just as the girl at Sephora), but Loreal is really the best.    I’m not really into eyeshadows as much because I really don’t know how to apply it well.  I watch the YouTube beauty guru videos, but I still can’t seem to like it better than the liquid eyeliner on me.
8. What’s your favorite kind of mascara? Again, I’ve tried so many different kinds, and I really like most of them.  The main thing is that the mascara can’t flake or leave me with raccoon eyes.  Right now I am using a combo of Loreal Voluminous, BE Curl & Lengthen, and DiorShow.  They’re all similar, with a huge brush that helps me get thicker lashes.  The DiorShow is the best, but it’s also the most expensive, so I mix it up during the week.
9. Lipstick? Lip gloss? Both? Favorite? I wear both.  This winter I’ve gotten back into my love affair with lipstick and use lots of BE, but I also like Mac and Revlon.  In the summer I wear more glosses, and nothing beats Buxom for me.
10. Do you wear nail polish regularly?  If so, share a few of your favorite brands/colors.  Not at all.  I wish I was as good at doing my nails as Kenlie, because I’d do them all the time.  I want to start getting the gel manicures, but I think I’m going to save that as a treat for myself once I get to my mini goal.
11. How do you remove your makeup at the end of the day?  First I sweep a Neutrogena cleansing cloth over my face, concentrating on the eye makeup.  Then I wash my face with BE’s purifying facial cleanser.  Followed by the BE moisturizer.
12. Do you feel prettier when you’re wearing makeup?  I feel more like me.  The makeup helps me show myself at my best.  I feel pretty, confident, and ready to take on the day.
13. Do you have any beauty tips that you could pass along?  My biggest tip is to pay as much attention to skin care as you do to makeup (maybe even more).  No one ever guesses my age and I think that’s in part because I’ve been taking great care of my skin since I was a teen.

Now it’s your turn to answer the questions!   And also be sure to go back to Kenlie’s blog and leave a link to your FMM post in the comments!  I really encourage you to comment on as many people’s posts as you can – I’ve met some fantastic people through FMM, including Kim, among many other wonderful people.  You never know who you’ll meet today.

A huge thank you to Kenlie for featuring many of my questions in this post today.  It was so much fun!! I can’t wait to read your answers.

I did give in a bit more to some self pitying moments, and I made some choices that were less than stellar on Friday and Saturday, but I logged each and every bite into MyFitnessPal, so I feel good about that, at least. One thing working in my favor this weekend was that I was busy, both yesterday and today, and I know that that’s a key to overcoming emotional eating.

For the past couple of days I’ve been mulling over what I should to do change some things up and make significant progress toward my goal.  First and foremost, it was time to figure out my food.

At first I thought I was going to go hardcore (because we all know how well that works for me) and have Green Monster Smoothies and Premier Protein shakes for all meals.  And then ScaleWarfare sent me a great email and reminded me that I don’t do very well with only having shakes because I don’t really feel satisfied without being able to “chew.”  So then I thought about having Green Monsters and shakes during the day and then have a Lean & Green dinner.  But my mom and my sister both thought that I might be a bit bored with that, too.  And then today when I met Kim for coffee, she echoed everyone else’s advice, and then she also said:

Bella, you are way too hard on yourself!  Listen, when I first met you, you had 45 lbs to go towards your goal.  Now you what? 20?  Maybe 25?  You’re halfway there!   So you had a slipup, everyone does.  You may have another one, but I can tell that you’re determined in a way that you haven’t really been before.  Give yourself a break; you don’t have to be perfect!”

It was something about the sincerity in her eyes that really hit home with me.  She was pleading with me to treat myself more kindly and realize how far I’ve come.  She told me exactly the kind of thing that I would tell anyone that was struggling.  And she was absolutely right.

Kim also brought me a bunch of samples of different protein powders I can use in smoothies and shakes, which was so sweet of her.  That way, I can figure out which ones I love before I buy the whole container.  So then she and I headed to Whole Foods and I bought a few things to help me with my new food plan: (click on the photo to see it a bit more clearly).

A few notes:

• The Green Monster has the banana nut bread protein powder included (I can’t wait to try it).
• I’ll have the first snack, the protein bar, as a snack between breakfast and lunch.
• The salad will help keep me full.
• It’s been months since I’ve had apples (or any fruit, really), and I’m looking forward to it.
• Kim had mentioned how delicious the Casa Giulia fig jam was, and let me tell you, she wasn’t lying.  I had some of tomorrow’s snack for lunch today and it was delicious.  I won’t have that snack every afternoon after school, but it’s a nice treat.  The other snack I’m planning is to have Greek yogurt with frozen fruit (strawberries, blueberries, and peaches).
• I’ll eat the same Lean & Green dinners that I have been.
• My calories are more than I have been eating lately (which were at 1200), but I think I’ll feel more satisfied. Plus, as long as I’m working out about an hour a day, 6 days a week, I can afford to eat more calories.  This is even more incentive to make sure my workouts happen.
• Getting away from so much processed food and eating real, whole food is going to make me feel better and will give me more energy.
• This is closer to the way that Kaiser outlined my food plan to be.
• It may take longer, but I’ll be a lot less likely to binge or go off the deep end if I feel happier and healthier in my choices.

So when I got home I spent over two hours prepping all of my meals.  I took the meat off the rotisserie chickens and portioned it into 3 oz packages, half of which I froze. I cut up all of the veggies for my salads – romaine hearts, Persian cucumbers, beets, and mushrooms.  I made all 5 salads for my lunch this week and put them in pre-portioned containers.  I also put the salad dressing in smaller containers so that it’s ready to go.  I cut up all of the bananas I had and portioned the equivalent of half a banana into individual baggies. I did the same thing with the 2-3 cups of spinach.  That way, making the Green Monsters will be quick and easy in the morning – I’ll just put it all into the blender and whiz it.  And then I made sure that I had all of my dinners planned, so that all that’s left is to cook them, which is no problem in the evenings.

I can’t tell you how organized and happy I feel after having done all of that!  You would think it might be a pain in the neck to prepare all of that stuff, but I have to say that I actually really enjoyed it.  I had the music blaring and I just kept on going.  Plus, knowing that I’m going to be eating real, whole, healthy food is sort of exciting.  I know I’m going to enjoy these meals more than I did just eating the packaged food that I have been.  I still have some of the BC food to eat, but I’m going to incorporate one or two of them a day, not eat it all the time.

So I’ve forgiven myself for my slip up.  I spent the weekend recharging my batteries.  I reached out to all of you and was overwhelmed by the response.  My mom and my sister called me and offered me so much support and encouragement.  BeautyJunkie824 told me that I can call her anytime I’m feeling frustrated or depressed and just need to vent.  And I know that Kim and ScaleWarfare are there for me, too.  I have so many special people in my life and I know just how lucky I am.  With all of this on my side, how can I fail?

Let me start this off by saying that in general, I try to conduct myself as a really upbeat, positive person.  I’m consider myself to be very optimistic, yet realistic.  I enjoy looking at the brighter side of life whenever possible.

Today is not one of those days.

I’ve been struggling for a few days, well really, for a week or two.  My weight stalled, and that frustrated me.  Although I knew exactly why my weight wasn’t moving.  I started eating more than I know I should, although I wasn’t logging all of the extras in MyFitnessPal. Who do I think I’m hiding that information from?  No one that I’m friends with on MFP would judge me; they might encourage me to make better choices, but there’s no need to feel ashamed.  Yet  I do.  So instead of being honest and credible, I go to my natural response, which is to hide my mistakes and lie.  To myself most of all.

I get really frustrated with myself for sticking with it for 2-3 weeks and then having something happen and going off the plan.  It’s a bad cycle with me, and before you suggest just how much I’d benefit from therapy, let me say that I am not ready for that at this point.  I should go, I know, but I’m not going to. At least not now.  You don’t have to agree with that, but it is the way that it is.  I hope that some point later I will return to therapy, but for now, it’s not something I want to do.

But what I do have to face is figuring out another way to cope with stresses and frustrations.  When I used to smoke I’d use that as my coping mechanism.  But now that I’m not smoking, I have used food for that even more than I did before.  Smoking allowed me to have “something to look forward to” as sick as that sounds.  I was able to have more willpower with a strict diet because I could smoke when I was stressed, upset, sad, bored, etc.  Now I fill in those spaces with food.

The key to all of this may be looking at why I have such strong reactions to seemingly inconsequential things.  It’s partly  because of my perfectionism and control issues.  I want things to go well, and when they don’t I react, and that causes those around me to react back, and then I get hurt, frustrated, and upset.  At work and in my home life.  And it’s not a good place to be.  I’ve been feeling like I want to reset myself and become someone who doesn’t have to have the snappy comeback or complete control of every situation.  I want to be able to let people do things in a way that I don’t think is the best.  To let those around me make mistakes and figure things out and for me to know that I am not responsible for everything going smoothly all the time.

Much of that is more than I can probably figure out on my own, but for now, I need to work on what I can and change in small ways as much as possible.  It will take biting my tongue more often, and maybe little by little, I can improve.

I need to put my focus on accomplishing the goal at hand – those 20/25 pounds. I  need to get my mind set that getting to my goal is more important the the taste of any food.  The key is really in staying busy so that I don’t think of food.  And looking at exercise as a way to cope with stress/frustration instead of eating emotionally.  It’s about finding the willpower I used to have.  It’s about changing my life.

Because the alternative – staying this way forever – makes me sadder than I can describe.

Last week I went to my first hot “tapas” yoga class there, and tonight I attended my second, so I thought I’d write about my findings.  The class isn’t called Bikram because in order to be designated a Bikram class, the instructor/style has to follow the method developed by Bikram Choudhury – “a set series of 26 yoga poses, including two pranayama exercises, each of which is performed twice in a single 90 minute class.” ( source: http://yoga.about.com/od/bikramyogahotyoga/a/bikram.htm)

I’ve taken Bikram at YogaSource many times with many different teachers and enjoyed the predictability of the class.  It’s always the same 26 poses, done twice.  The first time held longer than the second.  Bikram is very athletic – you’re striving to hold the pose, reach deeper, or wrap stronger.  I know that if I attended that class on a regular basis, I would get inspired by my progress with each pose.  Since it’s always the same exact ones in the same order, my improvement would be measurable. As it is right now, I can get into some of the poses, but many of them require me to significantly modify the original pose.  Which I’m fine with, because I know I’ve worked to the best of my ability.  Even as a sporadic student, I always leave the class feeling accomplished.

With hot yoga, it’s just that – yoga poses done in a heated room.  The class that I attend on Tuesday nights is very relaxing and therapeutic, just as you’d expect a yoga class to be.  The teacher, Joan, is so supportive, encouraging, and gentle.  She reminds us constantly throughout the class that whatever we can do is where we should take our practice.  Very non-competitive.  I leave feeling better about myself.

I’m planning on taking the Thursday night hot yoga class this week, which has an entirely different teacher, and it will be interesting to see if/how that experience compares.

Both classes help the body release built-up toxins, though sweating.  I walk out of each studio feeling as if I’m floating – like I’ve just risen from a sauna or steam room.  The benefits of both Bikram and hot yoga are clear:

Practiced regularly, this deep body cleansing practice will give you better circulation, a stronger immune system and higher energy levels.”

At this point, I can’t really say that I like one practice over the other.  Each has their place in my heart for different reasons.  My competitive side likes the challenge of Bikram, while the side of me that needs encouragement and soothing loves the hot tapas yoga.  In both, I love the feeling I have as I’m driving home – one of complete contentment, relaxation, and calm.

Plus, you really can’t beat the calorie burn with heated yoga – look it up on any calorie calculator and you’ll be amazed.  I burn well over 1000 calories (1156 in a 75 minute class, 1387 in a 90 minute class) each time.  Of course individual results vary, depending on how much you weigh, but no matter what, the burn you can achieve doing something this good for your body and mind is remarkable.

I highly recommend trying some form of hot yoga – if I can attempt it, you can, and should, too.

Now it’s time for Friend Makin’ Monday (FMM).

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

FMM: Short Answers

1. Mac or PC? Mac all the way.  Although I have to use PCs at work.
2. Do you paint your own nails? Not usually because I’m bad at it.  I’d like to start getting gel manicures, though.
3. Beach or mountains?  Beach!!  I’m spoiled because I have great beaches near me, but I’d love to take a Hawaiian vacation in the next year or two.
4. What’s the title of the book you’re currently reading?  The Life You’ve Imagined by Kristina Riggle.  ScaleWarfare and I are reading it together.  I’m almost finished with it, and I really love the character development.  Next I’ll read Hunger Games.
5. Do you dance?  I love to dance!  Sometimes when I’m at home and I have the music on, I’ll just start dancing by myself, despite the quizzical looks my dog, Sofi, gives me.
6. CNN or Fox News?  If I had to choose between those two, CNN.  I prefer my local news and then the NY Times or Huffington Post.
7. Do you ride a bicycle?  Yes, I have a beach cruiser which I love.
8. Do you get a yearly flu shot?  Yes.  Since I work with teenagers, I’ve found that the flu shot really helps me stave off illness.
9. Best movie you’ve seen in 2012?  I’m ashamed to say that I haven’t seen a movie yet this year.  There are several good ones that are on my “must see” list, including The Descendants, The Artist, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (read the book and loved it), and Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (although I may wait on this one).   In fact, I just emailed a few of my friends to see if anyone wants to join me this weekend.  I’m going to go on Sunday afternoon even if I go by myself.
10. Do you prefer to workout at home or at the gym?  It really depends on the weather.  In general, I like the gym because I can concentrate and there’s a good energy there.  But if I’m not feeling like going out, I have lots of DVD options at my house, so there are no excuses.
11. Last airport you were in?  Hmmm…I have to think for a minute, it’s been a LONG time…wow, I just checked my iCal and the last flight I took was in August 2008 for my friend’s wedding in Connecticut.  I went to Boston, as well.  That is just ridiculous.  But I haven’t had lots of extra money for traveling these last few years so….this year that will change with the Vegas trip SW and I have planned.
12. Married or single?  Single
13. iPhone or Android? iPhone
14. Do you prefer to be in pictures or taking pictures?  We had this question last week.  I like do to both.  I love being in situations where my photo would be taken – out with friends or at family functions, but taking photos is really fun, too.
15. Favorite brand of sneakers?  I have Reebok Flex right now, but I love Asics, too.
16. Do you like snow?  I’ve only been in the snow very briefly one time.  Hey, I’m from California, what can I say?
17. Do you have/want to have kids?  No.
18. Summer or Winter? I like every season as we’re having it.  I enjoy being inside on a cold, rainy day, but I also love the sunny days of summer because I can be outside and more active.
19. Do you know how to swim?  Yep.  It’s one of my favorite activities.
20. Do you prefer to shop in store or online?  I’ve been tending to shop online much more often these past few years – it’s easy and I don’t have to fight for a parking spot at the mall.  But as I lose weight and start wearing smaller sizes, I know I’ll need to go to the store to try the clothes on.  And I know I won’t mind that one little bit.

Now it’s your turn…

And then Eddie D. had to give up the 49ers because of some shady connections and his brother-in-law took over the ownership and things when down hill. Fast. The Yorks treated the franchise like a business and we suffered. Years, shit, a decade and a half of nothing. We became a laughing stock, an “easy win.” It was a travesty.

And then one of the younger Yorks started listening to his Uncle Eddie and things started improving. We had several rebuilding years, and then came Jim Harbaugh and things really started turning around. His competitiveness and passion were just what we needed. And now Alex Smith, the quarterback that sportscasters and “fans” once laughed at, is going to lead the team to a victory in a second-round playoff game, under Harbaugh’s guidance.

Ahhhh, it’s even sweeter because I’ve been there throughout the good times and the bad. No fairweather fandom for me – once I’m your fan, I’m your fan for life. Loyalty. I know no other way. It’s in my DNA.

I can’t wait until 3:30, or should I say, I can’t wait until 7:30 or 8pm when the game is over, after we

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Update: Well, we played a tough game and went to overtime, but in the end, we lost to 17 to 20 to the Giants.  Still, it was an amazing season.  And just like in years past, I know I’ll be rooting for the 9ers for life.  Now they just need to work on their passing game in the off season.  Guess I have more reason than ever to root for the Pats.

I love rainy days when I can be inside with a nice cup of coffee reading, relaxing, and spending time unwinding. There’s something very serene about the rain. Listening to its patter against the rooftops and windowsills calms me. And the smell of the air outside after a big storm is so fresh and clean and alive with possibility. I’m not from Seattle, but I can appreciate a good rainstorm.

This winter has been one of the driest on record in my area, but as of Thursday afternoon, we’re in the midst of several storm systems that will have the rain pouring down for the foreseeable future. Well, until Sunday, but still, that’s several days of much-needed rain.

With all of that said, this week’s Goal Style was inspired by the rain. This is a little collection I put together to show the types of things I can see myself wearing on a rainy day when I’m at my goal weight. I’m proud of it because I found all of the items on my own, outside of Polyvore. One of the things I discovered is that I need to start figuring out some cool, funky places to find clothes. I was surprised that the stores I thought would be faves (Ann Taylor Loft, Anthropologie, Nordstrom, etc) really didn’t have things that thrilled me. This quest is going to be fun! Please let me know your “goal stores” in the comments.

I built this outfit around the slicker – I love the patent red because it makes a bold statement, but serves a purpose. And the polka dot rainboots? Love. I have a Marimekko umbrella and love it, although mine is a bold, floral pattern that I bought at Crate and Barrel years ago, but I thought this one echoed the polka dots of the boots and the block color of the jacket really well. The top and jeans are more of a blank canvas, although I have heard that those AE jeans do really nice things to a girl’s backside. And the necklace reminded me of a raindrop, which is why I chose it; I think it’s the perfect little something to set the outfit off. The quote is by John Updike. What do you think of my first Goal Style outfit? Would you wear it?

Check out these two photos:

Taken 9.17.11

Taken today, 1.17.12

Now granted, my hair was down in the first photo, and that one is shot at a much closer angle than the second one, but do you notice any difference?

Seeing things like this just helps me feel like all this hard work and dedication (thanks for the tagline, Dolvett) is worth it.  The scale hasn’t moved that much in the last 4 months, but I’m definitely working out a lot more than I was then.  Maybe I’m losing some inches?  Or maybe the whole thing is in my head.  Either way, I think I’m feeling better than I was then, and that’s spilling over into all aspects of my life, even with my eyesight in photos. .

This first set was inspired by all things 50s. I absolutely love the silhouettes of that time, and I know that I’m going to infuse a lot of those elements into my style, once I can shop anywhere I want to. To me Marilyn is the perfect icon for that era, and so she became a bit of an inspiration in the looks I chose. I love the black and white polka dot dress, but since that could be a bit “costumey,” I found that White House Black Market mini polka dot dress as a way to incorporate the same esthetic into an everyday look. The shoes are fun and flirty. I gave the flats or slingbacks option because I’d wear either, depending on my mood. I absolutely loved the bag, and then I found out that it’s Gucci. Champagne tastes, I guess. I just love it’s shape.

The template I chose had the text already on it, and looking at it now, I wish I would’ve gone with a cleaner style, but since it’s my first stab at Polyvore, I don’t think it’s too bad. All of the items I used were already on Polyvore, but they do have a feature where you can clip items from other sites to use in your set. I can see hours of fun looking around the web for different outfits.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”
– Martin Luther King, Jr.

Taken in San Fran, on one of the many famous hills.

Beneath the photo they asked “what steps will you take today?”

I’m taking steps each and every day to get to my goals, large and small.  I’m pushing past the doubt, past the sore muscles, past that lazy side of me who would rather stay in than be out and active.  I’m releasing all of my fears of the unknown and putting faith in myself.  And with each new step, a better me is revealed.