As you guys know, I’m finally ready to start dating, and while I had a great series of dates with TR over the summer, it ended up that we weren’t meant to evolve into a grand romance, despite my hoping that life could imitate a romcom. I took a couple of months off from online dating, mostly because the new job and the schedule that comes with it was something to get used to. Also because the “matches” in my inbox weren’t all that appealing.
Two weeks ago I decided to join eHarmony. I’d joined years ago, and didn’t have much luck, but several of my friends had met their special someone on the site, and I figured I’d give it a shot. It’s a much slower process than Match.com, but I think it’s worth it because it allows you to get beneath the surface with the potential matches. Long story short, I was contacted by someone who really caught my eye.
Let’s call him Fireman, since that’s what he does. He is 43 (my same age), good looking, smart, and fun. He lives about an hour and a half away from me, but that didn’t turn me off, because I really value my independence, and the distance is a built in way for me to maintain it. He has kids – a son who’s a senior in high school and a daughter who’s in 8th grade. Dating someone with kids wouldn’t be my first choice, since I don’t want kids of my own, but these are great ages, especially since I get along so well with teens. Plus, it will be a LONG time before I ever meet anyone’s kids; I feel like it should be a fairly serious relationship before that happens.
Anyway, Fireman and I have a lot in common: we’re both sports fans (although he roots for the wrong teams, LOL), love to read, like to cook, are into fitness and staying healthy, and we actually attended the same college at the same time (although since the school has over 30,000 students, it makes sense that we never ran into each other). I was drawn to the way he described himself, how he views life, and what he’s looking for in a relationship. I love that he’s intelligent, has a real zeal for life (as evidenced by his photos of his participation in the Spartan race and sky diving), and his smile is fantastic. So when he sent me the first 5 questions last week, I answered him quickly.
We moved through eHarmony’s communication steps throughout the day on Tuesday, getting to know each other a bit better with each new step. Our answers clicked for each other, because before long we were at the eHmail stage, where you can email each other freely, without the prescribed questions. I sent him my phone number so we could text, and looked forward to hearing from him. He texted me Tuesday night, but somehow I didn’t hear it come in, so Wednesday was spent texting each other back and forth.
One of the things I really appreciate about Fireman is that he communicates so well. Not just the content of his messages, or the fact that he spells everything correctly (although those are HUGE things for me), but especially the fact that he’s really attentive. He sent me good morning texts each day, which really made me smile. And when I sent him a text, he answered pretty quickly. (One of the things that bothered me about TR was that he would text me a question about making plans, and I’d respond within minutes, then wait for an hour for his response. It was weird, and helped me realize that I like someone who checks in and sends texts several times a day). Fireman is great about that, and I love the attention. It shows he is interested, and I love that feeling that I’ve caught his eye.
Fast forward to him asking when we could meet up on a date. I’d originally had a Halloween party to go to with the BFF on Saturday, so Fireman and I made plans for Sunday. I was really excited to wear my Vampira costume to the party, especially because I bought it right off the rack. Not only that, but it was a size MEDIUM!! So when the BFF texted and said she didn’t think the party was a go, I was really disappointed. It just so happened that Fireman was texting me at the same time, and I mentioned this to him. He immediately said, “well then we should find a Halloween party so we can both dress up and wear costumes!”
Can I just say that I love that he 1) didn’t want me to feel disappointed about not getting to wear the Halloween costume so he was coming up with an alternate plan, 2) that he was willing to pull together a last minute costume so that we could both dress up, and 3) that he wanted to see me sooner rather than later. He found a Halloween Hornblower cruise around SF Bay sponsored by a local oldies station, and bought our tickets. I was impressed and excited.
No matter how it ended up, I knew that this first date would go down in the history books for me. Meeting for the first time in person while all dressed up for Halloween? Crazy! He called it “unorthodox,” which I loved. I’m also really glad I had several pictures of myself looking normal on my eHarmony profile, so that he knew exactly what I looked like before he saw me as Vampira. LOL.
I’ve never been so excited about getting ready for a Halloween party in my life. This came with the added excitement of a first date, making it all the more special. After a few attempts at the gothic makeup I was going for, and trying to figure out how to glue on the false lashes without gluing my eyelids shut, I was really happy with the result:
You can’t see it in the pics, but I have on a dark burgandy and black eyeshadow, which went well with the rest of the outfit. I used black eyeshadow to contour my cheeks and add a bit of a dead look. The false lashes looked great, even though they were a pain to put on. I wore Mac’s Darkside lipstick, along with a Bare Minerals Moxie in Strong as the blood dripping out of the corners of my mouth. When my nieces and sister saw me, they said I looked spooky and haunting.
To complete the look, I wore my blood-red fake Docs, a great necklace from Bauble Bar, and fishnet stockings:
The shoes were the perfect choice to give the outfit a bit of an unexpected style that’s all my own, and were also practical, because I knew we’d be walking a lot in SF to get to the pier and board the cruise ship. I was really pleased with the entire effect of the costume, and couldn’t wait to see what Fireman thought of it.
He knew that I was going to be Vampira, and planned his costume around mine, but kept it a secret. He did ask that brought whatever lipstick I was wearing along, so he could use some. I was totally intrigued. When we met up, I was so happy to see that he’d transformed into a Vampire Hunter, complete with fake sword, huge silver cross, and black trench. What a clever choice of outfit!! He looked good! And I could tell that he was really happy with the way I looked in my costume. The way he looked at me told me that he appreciated the way the costume accentuated my curves. So when he asked me to give him two kisses, one on the cheek and one on his neck, I gladly obliged. He’s a smart man to figure out a way to get two smooches from me within minutes of our meeting. LOL. It definitely broke the ice, but remained innocent, at the same time.
The cruise ship was lit up and looking gorgeous. It was huge, and I couldn’t believe the number of people who had bought tickets for this event. I would say there were 500 or more people on the boat with us. As we were waiting to board, fireworks were going off on the bay and the Giants scored 4 runs in their World Series game. If that’s not an indication of a great night ahead, I don’t know what is. Normally I’d be very concerned about a 3-hour plus first date, but with Fireman, I knew the evening would fly by because we have a lot to talk about and already had an ease between us after our texts and phone calls.
Another thing I really liked about Fireman was his willingness to take photos. I’ve been with lots of guys who are just so weird when it comes to that. I love that he is outgoing, friendly, and very confident. We’re a great match in so many ways. I think it’s clear in this photo:
The evening was amazing. We talked easily, had a great time getting to know each other, and saw some hilarious and horrific costumes. We danced throughout the night, and our rhythm on the dance floor was unmistakable. We were so insync, moving together as if we’d been doing it for years, not minutes. The sparks flew for sure, and the chemistry was obvious. I liked the way he took my hand and led me through the crowd, protective yet respectful. It’s hard to describe it, but I knew that I looked good, and the way that he looked at me confirmed it. He was clearly attracted to me, and wasn’t afraid of glancing admiringly every so often. And yes, for those who are curious, we did share quite a few passionate kisses, which can only be described as thrill-inducing.
When the night ended and he drove me back to my car, we listened to an old Pearl Jam record. One of the cool things about dating someone my same age is that we share so many pop culture memories in common, including grunge music. As we each made our ways home, he was sure to ask me to text him when I got home so he knew I was safe. And he texted me the next morning (yesterday) telling me that he’d had a great time . I’m really hopeful that we’ll go out on more dates, but even if we don’t, I can honestly say this was the most unique, fun, and excited first date I’ve ever been on. Vampira and her Vampire Hunter will be one of my favorite Halloween memories from here on out.