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Posts Tagged ‘struggling’

I was really looking forward to this evening’s WW meeting because I had slept through last week’s meeting and I always feel like my week is somehow incomplete if I don’t make it to a meeting. Plus, I wanted to see what the regular Thursday evening leader was like, because she wasn’t there the first week I went to weigh-in in the evening. Also, I knew the topic was going to be Lose For Good, and since I’ve been asked to share the information about the program with you, I thought I should be a bit more informed about it first.

The results – tonight’s weigh-in showed that I was up 0.4 lbs, which was completely frustrating, yet again. I feel like my body is simply holding on to this weight for some unknown and upsetting reason. When I talked to my mom about this later in the evening, she said that she really thinks I should make an appointment with the doctor, because there may be some other explanation for it. I think she’s right. I’m not thrilled with my current choice of doctor, so I’m in the process of trying to get a few recommendations from people who also have Kaiser. I’m hoping that there is some true reason that I’m not seeing movement on the scale.

download-5 On a positive note, this was Week 16 for me, so I got the little charm, which was exciting. One thing I shared when Michelle, the leader, asked me what I’d learned over the 4 months was that I am so much more active than I was then. It truly has become a part of a new lifestyle for me, and even though the past week hasn’t shown that much activity, I am really proud of myself for all that I’ve accomplished on that front.

As far as Michelle, the leader of the 6:30 meeting on Thursday, I absolutely LOVE her. She is very energetic, totally motivating, and she sticks to the topic, unlike the lady who does the 9am Thursday meeting. (I liked her personality, but I didn’t like that she hardly ever stayed on topic, or even mentioned the topic. WW obviously takes time and pays attention to what the meeting topics are, so I’m not sure why she feels it’s ok to totally disregard them). Michelle is beautiful, thin, and very fit. She’s a mom, but I think she’s someone that I can relate to, as well. I’m really going to like this meeting. When I got to the meeting, I was the first to arrive, and when she weighed me, I expressed my frustration at seeing another gain. She asked a few questions, which I answered, and then she asked me to bring in my tracker next week so she could take a look at what I was eating. I’ll definitely do that, because if there’s something I’m missing, I’d love to hear it.

Two things come to mind – I didn’t get all the water in a few days this week and I didn’t workout out as much as I have been. I did get all of the liquids, if I count coffee, but I usually try to drink at least 6-8 glasses of pure water each day. It’s actually surprising that I didn’t get the water in, since it’s been so unseasonably hot around here. I may need to cut down on the coffee consumption and focus on more water earlier in the day to get it all in, now that school’s in session.

As far as the meeting, we spent it talking about the Lose For Good campaign, which I’ll go into more detail about in a minute. One thing that Michelle challenged all of us to do was to try to lose 10 pounds in the next 7 weeks. Normally, at my weight and with my activity points, this should be no problem, but given the way my weight loss has been going, I’m not sure if I can make it. Still, it’s a goal that I’m going to shoot for.

In keeping with staying positive through all of this, I’ll share this quote:

Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain.” — Author Unknown

oseForGood_n_lgThis is the second year of WW’s Lose For Good campaign. Between Aug. 30th and Oct. 17th, WW will donate money for every pound we lose, up to 1 million dollars. Their goal is to feed as many hungry people around the world as possible.

This year, WW is doing some really cool things to get members even more involved with the program.

Membership Specials – In celebration of Lose For Good, Weight Watchers is offering a free month of Monthly Pass for any new member who joins during the campaign and that includes FREE registration! The in-person meeting offer is valid in participating areas only, but you can enter your zip codes at http://www.weightwatchers.com/index.aspx to find out more. For Weight Watchers Online, if you sign up for a 3 month offer, you’ll get the fourth month free.

Lose – a – palooza: This year WW decided to let everyone in on the LFG campaign, so even non members can support the cause. On September 15th, for every accepted mention or acknowledgment of “Lose For Good” made via blogs, Twitter, Facebook and MySpace, Weight Watchers will make an additional donation – up to $25,000 – for just one day of social media activity. This donation is on top of the $1 million Weight Watchers is hoping to donate to Share Our Strength and Action Against Hunger as part of the 2009 Lose For Good campaign. So, make sure to mention the campaign, even if you’re not a WW member, because I’m sure we all want to help hungry people.

Lose For Good Community on WW.com: WW.com has set up a Lose For Good community aspect where people can set up profiles, blogs, and vlogs (video blogs). I’ve looked around it a bit and it seems like it’s cool, although I prefer our little corner of the blogging world. ;)

I know this sounds like a commercial for Lose For Good, and I don’t mind that. I’ll gladly be a corporate shill for such a worthwhile cause!

My personal Lose For Good Contribution: I’ve decided that I’m going to donate 1 pound of food for every pound I lose during this time period. In addition, I’m going to donate one Saturday morning or afternoon volunteering at my local food bank. What will YOU do?

Ok, now on to the photo food journal…

Breakfast:

download

1 pkt Quaker Oats Weight Control banana bread instant oatmeal (3 points)
8 oz Trop50 OJ (1 point)
1 hard-boiled egg (2 points)
Multivitamin + Green Tea FatBurner pill

Total: 6 points

Lunch:

download-1 (I didn’t end up eating the yogurt)

1 Oroweat sandwich thin (1 point)
2 wedges Laughing Cow cheese, French onion flavor (1.5 points)
1 tomato (0 points)
alfalfa sprouts (0 points)
6 slices Oscar Meyer Deli Fresh thin-sliced rotisserie chicken (1.5 points)
apple (1 point)
SmartFood chocolate cookie caramel pecan popcorn clusters (2 points)
28g Flat Earth Veggie Chips, earthland cheddar flavor (3 points)

Total: 10 points

Afternoon Snack: (after weigh-in)

download-4 1 point

These were really sweet, but staved off the hunger, which was what I was looking for.

Dinner:

download-2download-3

I bought the new Comfort Foods Cookbook from WW, and wanted to try the mac n’ cheese, since the one I had the other night was OK, but not fantastic. Plus, I knew it would be pretty quick. The pictures weren’t taken in good lighting, which is why the color looks so off. This was good, but still not great. I’ll finish it, but next time I’ll have it more as a side dish than a main meal.

2 cups mac n’ cheese (12 points)
1 cucumber (0 points)

Total: 12 points

I know that 12 points on one dish seems like a lot, but since I had the points to eat, I figured I might as well.

Evening Snack:

download-2 3 points

I still have 2 points to go, but I’m so full at this point. Plus, maybe I had a bit more than 2 cups of the mac n’ cheese, so whatever, I’m done eating.

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Regular readers may have noticed something different on this blog recently.  Specifically, a lack of my usual blog posts.  In January and February I was blogging almost everyday, doing really well on WW, and feeling great in general.  Lately life is stressful, my schedule is packed, and I’ve been totally slacking on many of my responsibilities, including my weight loss goals.

I could give tons of excuses (explanations) about why this has happened, but that’s not really my style.  I’ve explained a few things in the last couple of posts – an extra class I’m teaching, TNT training, etc., but all of that is just life getting busy.  I have to be able to stick with WW, exercise, and all of my other obligations even when life is hectic and crazy.

After all, I look at my sister, LC, who has a really busy life and is still able to stick to her weight loss goals.  She’s a social worker, so stress and crises are daily realities for her profession.  LC is also a mother of two adorable little girls (6 and 21 months) and a wife.  She has an entire household to run yet still manages to make it to her weekly WW meetings, works out, and goes to yoga for a bit of “me time.”  Her day starts at 5:45am and doesn’t end until after 9pm, with hardly any down time for herself.  I really don’t know how she does it.

So every time I start feeling overwhelmed and sorry for myself because of how busy I am, I need to remind myself that I only have myself to think about.  I don’t have a husband and two little girls who need me.  I don’t have to worry about anyone but myself, yet lately I can’t even seem to do that.

Case in point – I was supposed to go to a TNT training this morning.  8 miles.  I was dreading it because I haven’t been doing my OYO (on your own) trainings at all, and there was no way I was ready for the 8 mile walk today. Plus, we were supposed to wear our fuel belts, but I couldn’t find one that fit.   I was getting very upset with myself this morning for once again not going to a Saturday training (it’s so hard to wake up at 5:45am on a Saturday, I can’t even tell you), but at the same time, I told myself that I needed to take this weekend and really get myself back on track.

I’ve allowed myself to get into this really bad place lately.  Money problems caused me to be delinquent on some of my bills (I’ve now caught up), my house is a mess because I haven’t had the energy to clean it, my weight loss is non-existent because I haven’t gone to a WW meeting in weeks and I have stopped counting points, and I can’t seem to get myself to the gym to walk for my TNT trainings.  (I have been going to the Wednesday night track practices, but going once a week is not going to get me to where I need to be in order to complete a half marathon).  More than once lately I’ve thought about dropping out of the TNT program all together because it’s just so hard. I think about all my friends and family who have told me that I’m inspiring, or that “I rock,” because I’m training for the half marathon and I feel like a sham.

But then I think about all those people who have donated to my fundraising efforts and I know I can’t let them down.    I think about what I wrote on my fundraising page and I know that it’s true.  I want to do this in memory of my uncle.  I want to do this because it’s for such a good cause.  And most of all, I want to do this because it’s one of the biggest challenges I’ve ever attempted, physically.

So rather than just sit here and write about how sorry I’m feeling for myself, I am vowing to get over it.  I am going to spend today cleaning the house so that I feel human again at home.  I’m going to return the old fuel belt and find one that fits if it kills me.  I’m going to go to the gym and walk for an hour and a half, because I have to start in on these OYO trainings, plus exercise really does make me feel better. I’m going to go to the grocery store and buy loads of healthy food, because I always feel better when I’m eating good food. And then I’m going to work on a plan to fit daily exercise/training into my new, more hectic schedule.

I’ll check in again later tonight or early tomorrow with my progress.  I’m determined to stop this awful pattern and get back on track with everything in my life.  I have to.

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