Support Group = Super Motivated!

Last night I went to a Kaiser WLS support group, and it was the best 2 hours I’ve spent on a Wednesday evening all year.  I walked out of the meeting completely inspired, totally pumped up, and willing myself to get to my “within 5 lbs” phone call by the next meeting (next month).

My other experience with the Kaiser WLS support group was the completely opposite of this one.  The only good thing about that meeting was that I met BeautyJunkie824 for the first time, and our friendship grew from there.  Most of the people in the meeting that time had been post-op for months, all of them having RNY.  The leader spent the meeting knitting and making less than useful comments.  It was so underwhelming that I never went back.

Until last night.  Tinkerbell and I had been chatting about how we’re really supposed to go to the support group meetings and that neither of us had gone to one.  So, we decided to go to this one last night, which was at a different location than the other one I’d gone to.  It had the same leader that I wasn’t impressed with, but this time the big difference was in the support group members.

There were about 10 people who were pre-op, 7 of whom, including me, where getting the VSG.  Two other members were 1-week post-op, and doing great.  The fact that both of them were feeling well enough to get out of the house and attend a meeting was really encouraging.  There were also a few “old timers” who’d had surgeries 1-2 years ago who were giving sage advice to a few people who’d reached plateaus or were experiencing other struggles.  And there were three others who were scheduled for surgeries within the next two weeks.  So exciting!  The combination of new and old really lent itself to lively discussions, advice, and inspiration.

One of the things that really helped me was hearing from a few people who had similar tales as I did.  Two of them had been within 5 pounds of their pre-op goal weight and then gained it all back and had to re-lose the weight, which they did, and were now post-op.  That motivated me more than anything else, because I know that story.  I’ve never been that close only to have it taken away, but I have been striving for this pre-op goal for longer than most.  But as one of the OGs said to me, “you’re on your own journey, going at your own pace.  You were meant to be at this place now so that you could learn more about yourself.”  And that’s exactly it!

Yes, I’ve been enrolled in this WLS program for 2 1/2 years, and it’s been frustrating and challenging.  But it’s also been a way to learn so much about myself and how I handle adversity, food issues, etc.  At one point last night Tinkerbell leaned over to me and said, “Bella, you were meant to be at this place right now so that we could go through this experience together.  To support each other, and to push each other to get to our goals.”  And she’s so right!

Both Tinkerbell and I are within about 10 lbs of calling for our “5 lbs left to go” notification.  At that point, I can call into the bariatric department and start the ball rolling with getting a surgery date.  I have 11 pounds to lose before I make that call, and I am feeling incredibly inspired to make that goal by February 20th, the date of the next support group meeting.

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Chill, Bella, You Got This!

I saw this on Alyssa’s blog and I just knew I had to steal it.  It encapsulates so many different things that I’ve been going through:

• Frustration over slow (or no) weight loss.
• Feelings of failure around the fact that I’m STILL not where I want to (or should) be.
• Lack of willpower when it comes to food.
• Trying this thing and that thing, all resulting in the same thing – nothing. 

But it also speaks to the main thing that I needed to read today – just RELAX and realize that I will succeed, eventually.  But only if I truly believe in myself.

It came out again last night when I was with my family and my mom asked me why I thought it had taken me so long.  She didn’t mean it in a mean way, she was sincerely trying to understand.  But tears rushed to my eyes, and I said in a very small voice, “because somewhere deep inside, I don’t believe I’ll ever be able to do this.”  (I get teary-eyed now as I type that sentence).  I explained that consciously I have a lot of confidence in myself.  I’m proud of myself for my perseverance, my positive attitude, and my ability to never give up.  But subconsciously there’s that voice in my head (that evil bitch, Fat Girl) that tells me I’ll never really get what I want most.  I even mentioned that as thrilled and excited and happy as I am for my friends who have (and are) losing weight, I am also really envious of them, too.  I mean, naturally, right?  But then again, they worked for what they got, and I need to do that too.  The evening was cathartic, but emotionally draining.

And really, for the past several days I’ve been feeling lousy, mentally and physically.  I took a couple days off of work, and it helped.  One thing that’s become abundantly clear to me is that I need a support group to air out a lot of the feelings and emotional issues I have around food.  Don’t get me wrong, you guys, my friends, and my family are all great support systems, but I need the paradox of camaraderie and anonymity that comes with a support group.  People that don’t know all about me yet can share my struggle.  A place to talk about the issues that are coming up and maybe get some advice as to how to deal with them.  And maybe a bit of education, too.  I know more than I ever need to about food and nutrition, but I could definitely use some skills around coping with stress.  It’s getting so bad that I’m getting persistent headaches, stomach problems, and my face is breaking out.

So I decided to look into what Kaiser could offer.  In Southern California, Kaiser requires WLS patients to enroll in an Options class, which is a weekly 12-week class that meets for two hours each time.  Education about nutrition, emotional eating, preparation for WLS, and support.  The thinking is that by the end of the class, the participants have everything they need to lose the required weight.  In fact, many of them finish the series and have lost the required weight.  Sounds fantastic, right?  I know!  The problem?  They don’t offer it here in Northern California.

But I didn’t let that stop me.  Because if there’s one thing you can say about Kaiser it’s that they are excellent about the education classes/support groups that they offer.  And I knew there had to be something available to me.

The first thing is obvious – there’s a bariatric support group meeting once a month in my area.  In fact, it meets at two different locations, two different times of the month, so it’s really available twice a month.  I went to one group and felt like they spent all the time talking about food (just like in many WW meetings), and I didn’t find it helpful.  Plus, most of the attendees were post-op, so there wasn’t as much for a pre-op person like me to glean.  But then again, I’m sure that if nothing else, it will keep me on my game and recharge my commitment. And I shouldn’t judge it based on only going to one meeting.

Then I also found out that Kaiser offers a Healthy Weight Program which “is designed to help you adopt healthier lifestyle habits. Share ideas, discuss challenges, and get support from others. Discussion topics include physical activity, nutrition, and stress management.”  It’s a weekly series that runs for 10 weeks, each session lasting two hours long, and the fee is $75 ($7.50/week).  The education staffer I spoke with said that they even provide a diet coach who works with each participant personally.  The program isn’t just for people who are having WLS, in fact, I’m guessing that many of them are just people who want to lose weight, or have to lose weight for some sort of surgery, etc.  In any case, I think it will be a great step for me.  There’s a pre-class to explain more about what the Healthy Weight Program entails, which I’m enrolled in for March 28th. The classes begin on April 18th through June 20th.  It’s going to be my goal that by the end of those classes, I’ve met my weigh loss requirement.

But I’m not going to wait for April 18th to get started.  I’m continuing on the path that I’ve started.  Going back to where it all began in August 2010:

1. Following Kaiser’s 1200 calorie/day meal plan.  Protein first, healthy carbs, whole grains, and lots of water.
2. Exercising.  30 minutes every single day, and 60 minutes of more intense activity 4 times a week, minimum.  450 minutes/week.
3. Taking my vitamins. I’ve gotten way off track with this.
4. Tracking my food in MyFitnessPal. I’ve tracked for over 90 days: good, bad, and ugly, which I’m really proud of.
5. Blogging at least 4 times a week to connect, support, and encourage.

Chill, Bella, you GOT this!

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“Magic Around Every Corner”

Last night on The Biggest Loser Bob took his team to this spot that was a hidden oasis, complete with a waterfall in the middle of a mountain range in Malibu, CA. He said, “there’s magic around every corner and all you have to do is go out and find it. You can achieve anything you set your mind to do.” I really love that, and after these past few days, I can say that that’s so true.

Today when I got home from work, these were waiting for me on my front porch:

Boxes of clothes that Scale Warfare (aka Skinny Minnie!!) had gotten too slender for (she’s lost  over 54 lbs!!).  And don’t be fooled by the “small box” moniker; these boxes were filled to the brim with tons and tons and tons of clothes:

I know this photo looks like a big mess, but I was trying on and sorting through it all.  I have a whole box of clothes that I’ll fit into in a size or two, and an entire box of items that I can wear now and for quite some time.  Scale Warfare gave me everything from dresses to pants to blouses to tanks to cardigans to glitzy tops to pjs to blazers.  The clothes are high quality, expensive, and in excellent condition.  I mentioned the gift to my sister and she came over and claimed a few things that she wants to “borrow.”  (I see some fashion fights in our future, like when we were in high school.    I marked the second box of clothes “inspiration” and put them in my spare bedroom closet. I cannot wait to wear each and every one. I especially have my eye on a pair of pin-striped Michael Kors pants that I’m dying to fit into.  Talk about great incentive!!

Here’s my outfit for tomorrow, all laid out. The whimsical top is from Scale Warfare and I’m pairing it with a black cardi and a black skirt.  If you come back on Friday for my OOTW post, you’ll see me in it.

Not only do I have clothes in sizes ranging from 24-16 and everything in between, but I’m seeing that there are quite a few stores that I never/rarely shop at that I should be.  Like Talbot’s, Old Navy, and Khol’s to name a few. It’s so interesting to see that stores that I thought were out of reach actually have clothes that fit (and look good) on me.

I knew that Scale Warfare and I had a lot in common, but now I see that she and I have a very similar fashion esthetic, too.  When we finally do meet up, we are most definitely going to burn a hole in our credit cards with all the shopping we’ll do!!

I can’t tell you how thankful I feel Scale Warfare her generosity with me.  Not only did she send me an immense about of expensive, like-new (some with the tags still on!) clothes, but she also paid to have them shipped to me across the country (not cheap at all).  I can tell you that Santa is going to treat her very nicely this year.  Between Scale Warfare and BeautyJunkie824 these past two days have made me feel invigorated, grateful, and very, very loved.  How lucky am I to have such amazing people in my life to call my friends?  I absolutely will pay it forward when it comes time for these clothes to go on to another home.

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THIS is What Friends are For!

Via Pinterest

Today I had the BEST day, all thanks to one of my newer friends!  Before I tell you what happened, let me give you some background.

BeautyJunkie824 and I “met” online through YouTube, and when we discovered that we only live about 40 minutes apart, we knew we had to meet.  Originally we decided to meet up for the first time at a WLS support group through Kaiser, when we were both pre-op.  We spent an hour at the meeting and then we headed to Starbucks and stayed for hours, just chatting, getting to know each other and realizing just how much we had in common.  BeautyJunkie824 got VSG surgery about 8 weeks ago, and looks fantabulous!  She’s lost over 66 lbs – 30 lbs since surgery and the rest from her pre-op diet.  She’s one of my inspirations on this weight loss journey, and I’m so lucky to have met her.  It really was kismet.

So today, BeautyJunkie824 and I met up at Starbucks again and talked for another 3 hours about losing weight, wls, life, and everything in between.  As she let me ask her “20 questions” (probably more!!) about her experience with VSG, I got more and more excited.  To think that that could be me in a matter of a few short months is incredible.  She said that she felt like VSG was truly a miracle for her, but pointed out, as ScaleWarfare did in her post today, that it is all about the healthy choices she’s making.  BeautyJunkie said that she could easily eat a ton of ice cream and never workout and she’d be putting on the pounds.  Instead, she eats protein first, is up to running a 5K several times a week, and make sure to get in all her water.

I told BeautyJunkie824 that I knew I had to ramp up my exercise (calorie burn) if I was going to see the weight loss results that I wanted, and she reminded me that I don’t always have to hit the gym to get in that extra workout.  Again, life’s not all black and white; an idea that keeps repeating itself to me, and will continue to do so until I start living it, I guess. Anyway, she mentioned that when she first started back with exercise this time around, she began with the Leslie Sansone Walk Away the Pounds DVDs.  Scale Warfare also mentioned those, and I just so happened to have bought this DVD from Amazon about a month ago.  (I haven’t opened it yet, but I will, this week).  And then I remembered that I have a few Biggest Loser DVDs (Boot Camp, Yoga, and 30-Day Jumpstart) that have been gathering dust in my garage for about a year.

As I was leaving, BeautyJunkie824 told me that she’d brought something for me.  We headed to her car, and she took out 2 huge bags filled with clothes for me!  All sizes 22-18!  I’m not in those sizes just yet, so this is even more incentive for me to keep up my good work and get these pounds off!  I have great clothes just waiting for me.  (On a side note, Scale Warfare is also being wonderfully generous and sending me some of her too-big clothes!!  Between these two ladies, I’m going to be all set until I get to my goal weight!)  I am so  touched by this generosity!  It’s overwhelming, and definitely something that I will “pay forward” once I’m out of these sizes.

Between BeautyJunkie824 and Scale Warfare, I feel so loved, encouraged, and supported!  It’s amazing to have these two women in my life.  They’ve both been through the VSG surgery, so I can learn from them, but even more importantly, they are two people whom I met online and whom I felt an instant connection with.  Like we’re meant to be friends and will always be in each others’ lives.  This is the power of blogging and vlogging that you just can’t beat!  Meeting up with BeautyJunkie824 makes me want to meet Scale Warfare even more, too!  Someday soon, lady!!!!

I was so motivated that when I got home, that I took Sofi for a 30-minute, quick-paced walk and then came home and did Week 1, Day 1 and 2 of the Bigges Loser 30-Day Jumpstart DVD.  Day 1 was 10 minutes of cardio and Day 1 was 10 minutes of upper body strength/core training.  The plan for this week:

• Wednesday: Walk Sofi; 30-Day Jumpstart cardio (10 min.); Walk Away the Pounds (level 1 – 18 min)
• Thursday: gym day – 35 min. on elliptical; walk Sofi; 30-Day Jumpstart lower body (10 min)
• Friday: Walk Sofi; 30-Day Jumpstart cardio (10 min.) (We’ll see if I feel like doing more)

I’m rocking it with my food.  So much so that I’m going to make a video tomorrow about my latest “haul” from Bariatric Choice.  December 17th is totally within my reach, and I know I’m going to make my goal.

Who have you inspired today? 

via Pinterest

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Looking for Support and Getting It!

As you guys know, I’ve been struggling a bit, so instead of spinning my wheels, I decided to take a completely different tactic than I ever have before.  I’m going to give therapy a try AND I went to my first WLS  support group last night.

I called yesterday and set up a therapy appointment for next Tuesday, so I’ll definitely post all about that next week.  As far as the WLS support group, I decided to make a video blog:

I mentioned this in the video, but for those of you who don’t have 11 minutes to spare (which I totally understand!), I wanted to make sure to highlight the fact that last night I met up with someone I met through YouTube.  It was exciting, because she’s the first person I’ve ever met in person whom I’ve first “met” online.  (ScaleWarfare, I hope you’re next!!) Sylvia aka BeautyJunkie824 is just as sweet in person as she comes across in her videos.  She drove quite a distance (over an hour) to come to the meeting, but it was really great to get the chance to meet her.

It was nice to see that we vibed just as easily in person and we did online.  After the group we headed to Starbucks for some iced tea and we just gabbed about the wls group, our lives, our diets, and our hopes with the surgery.  She’s also getting VSG, which is so nice.  Now there will be two other people who are going through the same path as I am, just a bit before me.  The other exciting thing was that she just found out this morning that her surgery is scheduled for Aug. 30th!  So, now SW is having hers Aug. 22 and BeautyJunkie824 is having hers Aug. 30, so I need to get my butt in gear and join them on “the loser’s bench” as people in the wls community say when people have the surgery. Knowing that they’re both getting the surgery soon really motivates me to qualify and get my scheduled, too.

I have a few changes up my sleeve that I’m excited to tell you all about in the coming days.

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SW, YOU are a friend!

Many of you know that ScaleWarfare and I are BFFs in blogland.  We’ve never met in person, but we’ve been friends for a couple of years via our blogs.  About a year ago (more now) SW and I started emailing each other our daily food logs to keep each other accountable, for encouragement, and for support.  Just knowing that someone out there understood my struggles made them easier.  She and I are similar in so many ways.  In fact sometimes we sort of freak each other out with how spookily similar we are.  She and I have been through so much on our weight loss journey, and it’s happily carried over into our personal lives too.

We started giving each other gifts to celebrate all of life’s joys – birthdays, weddings (hers), and just because.  We do it because we want to let the other one know we’re thinking of her, or that we want her to smile through a rough day, or because she deserves it.  You know, all the reasons that friends are there for each other.

I consider SW one of my very best friends, but today that notion was forever solidified when I recieved this:

What an overwhelming surprise!  She took one of the many photos that I have of Lulu and turned it into this amazing keepsake.  It’s printed on a canvas so it’s more like a painting, and she had it personalized with Lulu’s name.  It also has a little poem on it that is beyond sweet:

Dogs come into our lives, leave paw prints on our hearts, and we are forever changed.”

It’s perfect!  Not only does it capture everything that I feel, but it has one of my very favorite photos of Lulu. I’d said I’d wanted to have a photo collage to hang up, but this is even better! Now every time I look at it I’ll remember Lulu as a little puppy, but I’ll also be reminded of what a great friend SW is to me.  And I’ll feel loved for both reasons.

ScaleWarfare, I can’t begin to tell you how much this means to me.  You are the BEST friend anyone could ever ask for.  You are thoughtful, kind, supportive, empathetic and truly special.  I am honored to call you my friend. It’s amazing to me that two people who have never met face to face can become so significant in each others’ lives.  Thank you!

And now you know this means that we need to meet up somewhere halfway in between our two homes even more!  I can’t wait to give you a huge hug and thank you for everything.  You are the embodiment of friendship!!

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HYC Update: Best Day Ever!

Happy Tuesday, everyone!

Things are going really well for me in the world of weight loss, and since I’ll update you more on that on  Friday with my Countdown to Christmas/NYE Challenge update, I thought I’d let you in on some other VERY exciting things that are going on.

As you know, I’ve been taking part in Reverb 10 (look for that post later today), and I really encourage you to join in.  I love how it’s allowed me to strut my writing skills and reflect on 2010.  It’s been a really positive experience that I can’t recommend highly enough.

Today has been the best day in recent memory, which is saying a lot, because life has been great!! So much good stuff in one day. I think I’m going to burst with happiness!!”
~~ My Facebook status yesterday afternoon

The reason for such exuberance? I’m going to make you wait for the main reason, but one of the other reasons was that I took yesterday off to finish up Christmas decorations.

I have lots of sick days, so I figured why not?  Plus two of the classes I teach on “B” days are really challenging this year – not in a good way.  About half of the students are extremely rude, disrespectful, and disruptive.  They’re also failing.  There are a myriad of reasons why that I won’t get into here, and I’m not alone – the other teachers at my level are also experiencing this with this group of kids.  Still, they wear me out, so I figured I could use a bit of a break.

I spent the day decorating for Christmas and going back to Pier 1 for a few more items.  My mom came with me, and we had a great time.  I’m happy that I finally have it all set up.  Now I need to invite a few people over so that I can share it with them. 

A few of the photos you’re about to see are repeats from yesterday, but since I rearranged things I figured I’d show them again. (Click on any of the photos to make them larger).

Yes, I will change the “Days left ’till Christmas” every single day.  I do it when I get up in the morning and retrieve the newspaper.

When I showed my student what I’d done with the bowl of pine cones that I bought from her for the orchestra fundraiser, she was impressed.

Full view of living room.

I was afraid this looked too busy, but my mom said she thought it was festive.

You know spoiled little Lulu had to have her own stocking!

The photo is a bit blurry, but this looks really pretty at night, when the candles are lit.

The rest of the living room.

Instead of a full-fledged Christmas tree.

Ditto.

Love the whimsy of this table.  The candles are the exact color of the ornaments and balls.

All that decorating just puts me in such a happy mood.  This is the season when everything sparkles.  Glitter abounds, and it makes January seem so dull in comparison, doesn’t it?  I’ve decided that I’m going to decorate for each season, when appropriate, so that the house never gets that “worn in” look.  I want my decoration to reflect my attitude – happy and bright.

And now, without further ado, the main reason I’m so excited is:

DRUMROLL, please………..

My sister is moving into the duplex next to me!!!

She has finally made the decision to leave her husband (they’ve been talking about separating for more than 6 months, but he’s been unwilling to leave) and move back home to the city where we grew up.  Not only will we share a garage wall and be able to look out our bedroom windows at each other, but my parents are also only 5 minutes away, and most of my sister’s friends live here, too.  She’s going to have such a strong support system in place, and I know that it will mean such a positive change for her and my nieces.

It will mean a lot of change for me, too.  I’ve committed to staying home after school with the girls three days a week (my mom will cover the other two).  Which will mean a lifestyle change for me.  My life won’t be as free and easy as it has been, and my schedule won’t be as open.  But it will be nice to have someone else to care for  besides Lulu and myself.  (Plus Lulu is really excited that she’s going to have Minnie to play with all day). This is going to be a great opportunity to bond even more with my nieces, which will be so special.  I love them so much, and I’ve missed not being physically close to them.  (Even though an hour away isn’t that far compared to some people’s distance, it isn’t just across the street or down the road).  I am completely embracing  this new change.

LC is going to move the week after Christmas, so she and the girls will be able to start the new year off right – with a fresh start, renewed hope, and a new lease on life.  Sounds like the BEST way to start the new year to me!!

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Super Unexpected, but Super Sweet!

I feel so lucky to have received this blog award from Scale Warfare. If you haven’t read her blog, you definitely should stop on over now.  She and I have so many parallels in our weight loss story/journey.  (Maybe it’s because we’re both Cancers! ) I’ve gotten so many good ideas from her in the very short time that I’ve read her blog.  Once I discovered it (through the Healthy You Challenge Bloggers), it quickly became one of my daily reads.  I love everything about her blog, but I’m really inspired by her photo food journals.  I may even imitate her and do them once a week.

Here’s what you do when you have received the “Super Blogger” award:
-Tape it up on your blog somewhere.
-Pass it along to 5 fellow super bloggers, and comment on their blog to let them know how lucky they are today!
-When you present your Super Blogger awards, link back to the super blogger who gave it to you.

Choosing only 5 bloggers is difficult, but I definitely have my HAVE TO READ blogs that I read on a daily basis, no matter how crazy life gets. So, I pass this award on to, in no particular order:

Bitch Cakes: I love reading this glamour girl’s blog.  She has lost a ton of weight on WW and has such a sense of style – even her workout clothes are to die for.  Plus, she’s got a beach cruiser (like I do), and she rides it all over NYC.

Lisa @ Doing It For Me: It was love-at-first-read with Lisa and me.  I simply can’t get enough of her honest, heartfelt blogs.  Lisa and I have become bloggy friends, and even though we’ve never met in person, I truly hope that someday we will.  Lisa is always the one to offer me amazing advice, even if it’s sometimes more Jillian Michaels’ style.  (LOL).

Sweetie Pie @ Just Sweet Enough:This lady is truly amazing!  She’s lost 180 pounds, mostly on the WW program.  The thing I love about Sweetie Pie is that she’s a foodie, just like me.  She has really helped me realize that you can eat delicious food while trying to lose weight.  I get so many great recipe ideas from her, and I love her photo food journals.

Cammy @ The Tippy Toe Diet: Cammy is such an inspiration.  She’s lost over 100 pounds and completely transformed her life.  She has inspired me with her athleticism and her positive outlook on life.  She is definitely who I want to be when I grow up.  Not only that, but Cammy always has some great advice or positive comment for me whenever I need it most.

Diana @ Scale Junkie:Last, but certainly not least, is the woman who has done more than anyone I know to bring a sense of community and support to weight loss blogging.  Diana started the Healthy You Challenge last year and it has grown exponentially.  I’ve discovered most of the bloggers in my blogroll through the Healthy You Challenge.  Diana’s blog is so inspiring to so many.

There are many more bloggers who should receive this award, but those are my top 5.  As I have mentioned before, starting this blog a year and a half ago was one of the best things I have ever done for my weight loss efforts.  Even though I’m still a long way from my goal and I still struggle with setbacks, I know that I am a stronger person because I am part of such an amazing support system (weight loss blogging).  I am honored to be a member of such a fantastic group of people who are taking positive steps to improve their lives and become healthier, happier people.

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Team in Training Trepidation

Saturday I’ m scheduled to go to an informational meeting about Team in Training.   For the first time in a LONG time, I’m actually very nervous and intimidated by this. 

I’m the type of person who never gets intimidated by anything or anyone.  I have a lot of confidence, and am a self-assured person.  I can speak in front of huge rooms full of people without even thinking, and every day I speak in front of a classroom full of students. 

So why am I nervous about this? 

I can tell you exactly why: I am so worried that I’m going to be the only fat girl in the room.  Or more accurately, I’m worried that they’re going to take one look at me and say to themselves, “are you kidding?” 

I know that there are lots of overweight people who run marathons, compete in triathlons, etc., but I’m not one of them.  I consider myself to be in fair shape despite the fact that I have to lose over 100 pounds, but I’m no athlete. 

When I did the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving Day I had some serious problems with leg cramps, numbness, and a general feeling of malaise.  As much as I long to run, I can barely walk at a race-like pace.  Now, if they had contests on the elliptical machine, I wouldn’t even flinch – I’m a monster on that machine; I can push myself so far and so fast without too many physical issues.  And riding my bike?  Sure, I sometimes have to push myself and do a lot of positive self-talk, but I can do it. 

With walking it’s like I physcially CAN’T do it.  I have no idea why.  One of the reasons I want to sign up for TNT is that I know they have trainers who work with you to help you achieve your personal best.  I know I’d come out of the experience better than I was going in.  Plus, I’d be raising money for such a worthy cause. 

My appointment is at 9:45am on Saturday and I’m really worried that I’m going to chicken out and not go.  Which is so unlike me.

So here’s where you come in!  I need to hear from you:  comments, encouragement, support.  I need to hear stories of friends/relatives who did the same thing at an even heavier weight than I am.  Or, I need a reality check telling me to wait until I’ve lost more weight to do this.  Whatever your opinion is, please let me know. 

I really need to hear some comments on this one!

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A huge Thank You!

I want to thank everyone who has read and commented on this blog.  Without all of the support and encouragement of you guys, I don’t think I would’ve been as successful as I have.  

Since I’ve embarked on this weight loss journey on my own, without the benefit of a “group setting” that something like WW offers, I’ve relied heavily on you to celebrate my success and to encourage me when I’ve had moments of doubt.  

I couldn’t have done this without you to lean on!

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