I knew this morning that as much as I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best, it just wasn’t going to be pretty on the scale. I did my best with exercise during the week, but since the doctor told me to stick to low/no impact workouts, I had to cut the classes out completely. And as many calories as I burn swimming, it’s not the same as when I am sweating and pushing myself in Zumba or Turbo Kick, etc. (I will say that the rest has helped and my back isn’t hurt at all, so it does make me think that I need to make sure that for every “hardcore” class I take I spend the next day doing something lighter). And then I made a poor choice on Monday night, and the rest, as they say, is history.
Which means I gained 2.8 pounds this week, for a total loss of 17 pounds. The only good thing about that photo is that I got a pedicure on Friday, so my toes look nice. 🙂
I’m not going to focus on the negative here, because that really doesn’t do any good. What I am going to say is that I gained weight because of choices I made, pure and simple. And if I want to get the weight off and qualify for the VSG surgery, it’s going to happen based on choices I make, as well. So instead of grabbing for something that satisfies a short term craving, I have to take a minute and remind myself what I’m doing all of this for. Otherwise it’s going to be an endless up and down roller coaster that I’ve been on countless times in the past. And instead of riding the weight loss journey roller coaster, I want to lose enough weight that I can go on an actual roller coaster someday soon.
In general I make good food choices because I try not to keep tempting treats in the house (the No Pudge Brownies were an anomaly that will not return to my cupboards). I have learned so much about myself in this past year and I know that I don’t want to completely deny myself those kinds of foods, but I also know that I can’t have them in bulk in the house. So if I want a cupcake/brownie/cookie, I’m going to have it when I’m in a social setting, but not buy them in large quantities. I’m going to try to be more European in that mindset – buy a delicious delicacy from the bakery and bring home a single size serving and enjoy it to the fullest, but know that when it’s gone, it’s gone. That way, I’m truly indulging but I’m also not setting myself up for failure by going overboard.
As I mentioned yesterday, when I’m working out and giving it my all in that area, it definitely carries over into my food choices. So here’s my workout plan for the remainder of the week, through the weekend:
Wednesday: swimming
Thursday: Spinning (6pm) (attempting again to take my first-ever class)****
Friday: Swimming, Zumba (6pm)
Saturday: Long bike ride
Sunday: Walking (around San Fran, with my sister)
That’s my plan and I’m going to stick to it. You can follow me on Twitter to catch my tweets about exercises (or just read them in the sidebar of this blog).
Bella on the Beach 
The single serving is a great idea. I should try buying those little mini-packs when I buy chips.
I think part of my problem w/ eating too much comes from something deep inside me relating to waste/economics. I don’t know if it’s b/c most of my free time reading (and tv/movies for that matter) is dominated by war stuff, or if I lived in the depression in a past life or what, but I hate seeing food go to waste. While I do very well at not having junk food in the house just b/c it never makes it into hubby’s cart at the store, the problem for me is when there’s something like a great cake at work. I’m happy to go to the party and take a normal sized piece and enjoy it. But then when I see half the cake just sitting there uneaten 2-3 hours later, I feel compelled to eat more of it — just not wanting it to go to waste. And I know I’m more reluctant to buy something like a single serving of chips just b/c you get so much less for the money, but I guess I should think of it in terms of cost to my health instead of economic costs. But still, I think the more I read about starving POWs in Japan subsisting solely on one ball of rice and one clump of seaweed for a day at hard labor, and the more something in me wants to make sure that available (and good (I don’t have this problem with foods I don’t like)) food is put to use.
In her book, Women, Food, & God, Geneen Roth said something that has stayed with me since I read it (I’m paraphrasing from memory): “You’ve already bought the food, so it’s not a waste to throw it out, because the money is already spent. You’re not saving anything by eating it.” And I’ve tried to remember that, because the only thing it’s doing is damaging my weight loss goals, not saving money by eating it. You can’t “unspend” the money, so eating it or not doesn’t have any baring on that. It really helps me sometimes, and maybe it’ll help you.
That makes perfect sense for money I spend on crap I shouldn’t eat in such quantities, so I love the idea of adopting that philosophy for things I buy, but it seems like a lot of my issue is “free food” at work. And the wasting of food, not money. It’s really hard for me to think that most people have left for the day and if the cake just sits there, the cleaning crew will throw it away. I just hate thinking about how valuable and scarce food is or has been for some people; it seems so awful to me that something I like could be thrown in the garbage. As you well know, I think I also save too much stuff at home too, so this philosophy probably applies to possessions too, but I wonder if it’s almost like hoarding food. I know that was something that affected many POWs who were rescued for the rest of their lives — I’ve never seriously been starved so there’s no rational reason for me to feel like it’s my job to make sure food at work doesn’t go to waste, but when the food sits, I feel like I can’t help it.
Wouldn’t it be funny if at the next quarterly bday party at work, they just counted how many people showed up for the party and cut the sheet cake into equal shares for all the attendees and said they weren’t allowed to leave the party until they cleaned their plates? Then my food wasting conscience would be eased. Haha. And then any normal person who would hurl after eating 1/8 of a large cake would never come to another party and suddenly I’d have to eat 1/2 a large cake (or they’d buy smaller cakes!).
Why not just write a sign on the cake that tells the cleaning crew that they can have it? That’s what I do all the time with leftover food at school – I put it in the breakroom and say, “please eat.” and I guarantee you that someone is eating it.
I think stopping for a moment to REALLY think before you make a food choice is critically important and, for me, it’s one of the hardest things to do! Especially if it’s an emotionally-driven decision to eat. I remember one time (I may have even blogged about this), I had an argument with my husband on the phone on my way home from work. The minute I hung up the phone, the thought flashed through my mind that I would eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream (my kryptonite) that night to feel better. Since I was in the car, in order to do that, I would have had to drive to the grocery store, buy the ice cream, go home, and then eat it. All that time and effort involved was enough to slow me down and make me think, “Do I really want to do this? Is it really going to make me feel better?”
Of course, the answer was no. So I didn’t do it, and I felt great about that. But given that I’m not always in the car when urges to eat strike me, I’ve had to figure out some strategies to help me slow down and actually THINK about my choices before I am just stuffing my face. And it’s hard, but it has helped me immeasurably.
Have fun spinning – I can’t wait to hear what you think about it!