I’ve been wanting to write a post for the past day, but when I sit down to write, I don’t know exactly how to put what I’m feeling into words. I keep using works like surreal and amazing, but even those seem to pale in comparison with the experience of my heart beating out of my chest every time I think about the fact that my life is going to change in less than 6 days.
So many people have asked me if I’m nervous or scared or worried about the surgery, and I can honestly say I’m not. Not even one bit. Sure, I realize there are risks, even death, but I am certain that’s not my fate. I know it like I know my name. The possibility of pain doesn’t faze me, either. I’ve always had a high tolerance for pain, and I’m in good condition for someone of my weight, so I don’t think that will be much of a factor.
When I used to think of weight loss surgery, before I imagined it as an option for me, I focused on all of the restrictions to the post-op person’s diet. Back when gastric bypass was the only surgery that anyone ever talked about. I was so concerned about what “they” couldn’t eat, and couldn’t imagine my life with severe food limitations. Today, after over 2 1/2 years of research, I know that there will be very few foods that are completely off limits. Sure, there will be foods that I only enjoy on rare occasions, but I also realize that my life will be about more than food. It will be full of all the new activities that I’ll have more energy to pursue, and all the people who I’ll have the opportunities to meet. I’m not at all concerned about what I won’t be able to eat, but rather, excited by all that I will be able to participate in.
So I guess tonight I’m in a really peaceful, reflective mood. It’s been a long, unsteady road along this weight loss path, but on Monday as I wake up from surgery, I’ll take that deep breath and I will start on the exciting new leg of my journey.
It has been a long wait and you have never waivered. It’s hard to believe the big day is so close. I’ll be thinking of you and pray that it all goes well. You are right that you are in the best state for this than at any other time.
Blessings
Thank you so much!
Best of luck Bella!
I’ve been thinking of you so often over the past few days, and I’m so excited for you. Sending all kinds of positive energy your direction!
Thank you so much, Carina. You’ve been through this with me practically from the beginning, and you’ve shown unwavering support. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.
I think the key thing you wrote here is “My life will be about more than food.” This is what you need to focus on. It’s never about restrictions and deprivation – it’s about doing what’s best for your body so you can live life in the best way possible. I’m so excited for you 🙂
So proud of you, Bella, and excited for you!!!
Thank you!!
I have read your blog for a very long time but have never commented before. Just wanted to let you know that I’m praying for you and wishing you a speedy recovery and best wishes as you embark on this new chapter in your life. Best regards!
Thanks so much, that means a lot to me!
I’m thinking of you today Bella and am hoping that you’re feeling good. Best of luck with the surgery, but frankly – you don’t need luck – you got this one chicka!
Take care and heal quickly!
I am thinking of you today and hoping it all goes smoothly! Prayers!
I’ve been reading sporadically for awhile. So you opted for the gb? One of my best friends did gb about 5 years ago and it was the best thing ever.
No, I had VSG – vertical sleeve gastrectomy.
Hi Bella, I go for surgery Wednesday, January 28, 2015, in 6 days, and I just wanted to say thank you. You are an inspiration. I’m on my liquid diet currently and I keep rereading your blog to get me through this tough time.
OMG!! I am honored that my blog helped you! You are going to be SO happy with your decision. Can’t wait to follow your progress!!