Bella Begins

The Beginning of a Whole New Me!

June 2013

I’ve been blogging about weight loss for several years now, but I’ve come to the point in my life where it’s not about the WORDS that I write, it’s about the DEEDS that I do. I’m a planner, an organizer, a writer at heart, and I can stick to anything for a couple of weeks, but I’ve come to realize that consistency is a problem for me.  I get bored or distracted or finally give in to temptation and then go off the rails until I pick myself up again.  Well, if I’m ever going to lose this weight, I need to get off that roller coaster ride.

And the thing is, I’m the one in control.  I can decide what I will accept for myself.  Whether I’m worth more than whatever food is tempting me.  For a long time I acted as though I was powerless to these bouts of emotional/stress eating, but I finally realized that I wasn’t.   I was the one who decided how to react to the stress.  I am the one who could make a different choice.

It took me over 5 years to figure this out and to actually begin making different choices. 

I’ve been over 200 lbs for most of my adult life, and I’ve been over 250 lbs for the last 6 years, more or less. And for the past two years, I’ve been hovering around or over 300, which is simply unacceptable. My highest recorded weight was 315 pounds.

I’ve lost weight, gained it back, and tried to lose it again, but I finally realized that I can’t do it by myself.  Admitting that was freeing in so many ways.

So in August 2010, I decided, after discussing it with my doctor, to have weight loss surgery in order to use that tool to help me maintain a significant weight loss. At first I thought lap band surgery was the way to go, but then after doing quite a bit of research, and following my surgeon’s advice, I decided that Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy (VSG) was the better choice.  160 pounds is A LOT of weight, and the idea of losing half of myself is daunting enough, but the part that’s really tricky is keeping it off. 

That’s where the VSG comes in.  It’s a step that will surgically alter my stomach (removing over 80%) which will allow me to keep my portions in control.  According to my research, the majority of people who get the VSG surgery lose 80% of their excess weight in the first 6 months post-op; a statistic that is amazing and inspiring to me.

Choosing weight loss surgery isn’t the easy way out.  On the contrary, it’s one of the most difficult things I’ve ever undertaken.  Just losing the weight my surgeon is requiring of me before I qualify for surgery has proven difficult, and after 1 year and ten months, I still hadn’t lost the required weight set by my surgeon. If I would have gotten the lap band 6 months or even 3 months after my initial decision, I don’t think I would have been happy in the long run.  I am very confident that VSG is going to be the right decision and direction for me to take.  I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I truly think that this process has been laborious and incredibly frustrating because I had more to learn along the way.

In July of 2012, I met with my surgeon again to reassess my weight loss requirement.  He gave me a second chance to lose a new amount (goal weight: 281), but made it clear that this was it.  Now or never.  Lose the weight in a timely manner or get kicked out of the program for not being a viable weight loss surgery candidate.  As he said, “if you really want this, you’ll do it, no matter what.”  And he is absolutely right.

It took me until December of 2012 to really buckle down and get serious about my weight loss.  No more excuses, no more explanations.  Just consistency in my eating, consistency in my workouts, consistency in my actions.  And guess what? It started working.  Little by little, pound by pound, I started losing weight each week.  I was able to string a bunch of weeks of weight loss together, until those turned into months, and each month brought me closer to my goal.

On of March 26, 2013 I met the pre-op requirement, and lost over 31 pounds. After years of struggling, attempting, and waiting, I finally reached this first important goal!

Next, of course was the actual surgery, which I had on May 20, 2013.  The surgery went smoothly, and even though the recovery was more painful than I’d anticipated, I completely loved my sleeve! I was incredibly excited for this entirely new chapter of my life to unfold as I worked to conquer these weight loss demons, one pound at a time.

As of June 18, 2013: I lost over 50 pounds overall (54 to be exact), -16 lbs in 4 weeks post op.

In September 2014, I hit my lowest weight loss (-144 pounds total!).

In May of 2015, I started an unexpected, yet completely-hoped-for chapter in my life that wasn’t weight loss related at all – I met an amazing man, whom I’m completely in love with.  Along with this fabulous relationship came so many fun, new adventures…but with it also came the inevitable “love weight gain.”

As of April 2016, I’ve regained 30 lbs, but I’m determined to get those extra pounds off, and continue on towards my ultimate goal weight.  I’m reinvigorated and ready to make my weight loss goals a reality.

I hope you enjoy following me on my journey to a whole new me.

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