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Archive for the ‘mental changes’ Category

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Spring has sprung! Which means that the weather is turning warmer, the days are getting longer, and fitting in outdoor activities is a whole lot easier. Spring is a time of renewal, and in the spring of 2016  I’m living my life in full bloom! Now that I’m losing the weight that I’ve re-gained, the pounds I lose this spring are like petals on a flower, making my life just a bit more beautiful. I want to enjoy each day of this season, soaking in the sunshine, blue skies, and happiness. Sunday weigh-ins will keep me accountable through the weekend, and will give me a positive goal to begin each new week. My Sunday progress updates will be called Super Spring Weigh-Ins.

Week 1 of losing my regain found me slowly getting back on track after that painful reality check of last week’s weigh in when I saw 201.0 on the scale; a number I thought I’d never see again.  But sometimes a shock to the system is exactly what it takes to get me moving in the right direction. I was on spring break this week, so I had the time to make some slight, yet significant changes: I went on a hike and worked out at the gym with RDC3, I got in over 10,000 steps on trips to Half Moon Bay (with RDC3 and my parents) and Carmel (with RDC3 and Sofi).  I made a grocery run, prepared healthier meals, and had a general sense of things getting back into place.

bilbl_scale.jpg So, what did the scale show?!

When I weighed in this morning, I was 199.2, which is a loss of 1.8 pounds this week! I’ve lost a total of 77.8 lbs since surgery and 115.8 pounds from my highest weight!! I have 49.2 pounds to go to my ultimate goal weight of 150 pounds. I’m really happy with this week’s loss.  The first pound came off right away when I did my daily weigh-in on Monday; the other 0.8 came off a little at a time as the week continued.  Not only did I lose almost 2 pounds without any huge changes to my diet and exercise, but I’m gratefully back in ONEDERLAND.  I will never get out of it again!

Today I had an NSV when I texted RDC3 for our Sunday weight loss accountability update.  We’ve both gained weight since we’ve been together, so we’ve decided that enough is enough and it’s time to get serious about getting these pounds off.  He’s as committed to living a healthy lifestyle as I am, which is so nice. This is a whole new experience for me, because while I’ve had lots of great female friends who are weight loss buddies, I’ve never shared the weight loss journey with a boyfriend before.  That’s where the milestone comes in.  I’ve never, ever shared my actual weight with someone I was dating before.  EVER.  Even last week when I had that fateful weigh-in, I told RDC3 how much I’d gained, but not the actual number on the scale.  Today when I texted him my update, I told him the number.  Gulp!  He knew what it meant to me to be able to feel safe in sharing that with him, and he was so supportive.  He cheered on the fact that I’d lost 1.8 lbs, and didn’t make it a big deal about the 201.  Which means absolutely everything to me.  As he said, “we should be able to share everything with each other.”  And I couldn’t agree more.  That’s one of the many reasons I know that this is IT!

Phew! This week has been quite productive, when I look back at everything.  I faced the scale, made some easy changes, saw weight loss results, shared my weight with my boyfriend, and made lots of updates on my blog.  Progress!!

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Until next Sunday, my friends. I hope the scale treats you well, and that you have a wonderful week!

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8_Reasons_You're_Regaining_Weight_11.15.15Or, to be more accurate, REgain!!

Now, let’s not overreact.  I haven’t completely blown everything that I worked so hard for.  I’ve still lost over 100 pounds; 115 to be exact.  Which is a tremendous accomplishment in and of itself.  One that I’m very proud of.  Anyone who sees me walking down the street wouldn’t think, “oh, she’s got such a pretty face, but….”  They might think I’ve got an overly big booty, but they wouldn’t categorize me as fat in any way.  I’m still wearing size 12 pants and large tops, which puts me below the national average.

But let’s also be honest.

  • I could tell I was gaining weight when some of my smaller workout tops started to be a bit too tight to comfortably  wear to the gym.
  • I could tell I was gaining weight when the size 10 jeans I was so proud of fitting into no longer zipped up and I had to go buy some size 12s.
  • I could tell I was gaining weight when I would see those “last year on this day” posts on FB and notice that my face was so much thinner in the then than in the now.
  • I could tell I was gaining weight when I saw selfies that I took and noticed my collar bones weren’t quite sticking out as much as they once did.
  • I could tell I was gaining weight when my hair stylist stopped asking me how much more weight I’d lost, as she had done at every appointment since my VSG surgery.
  • I could tell I was gaining weight when I looked in the mirror and saw my face getting rounder.
  • I could tell I was gaining weight when my mom mentioned something at Christmas.
  • I could tell I was gaining weight when my #TBT pics started showing my face looking bigger now instead of then:
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    June 2015 vs March 2016

So while I “could tell I was gaining weight” for quite some time, I didn’t want to actually face the music, get on the scale, and see exactly how much I’d gained.  Because that would be a scary reality.

But scary or not, I told myself that I am someone who faces her fears head-on.  In fact, I am someone who is afraid of very few things in this life.  But let me confirm that re-gaining weight is definitely one of my major fears.  So last Saturday I asked RDC3 to change the battery in my scale.  (You see, the scale had needed a replacement battery for several months.  I went out and bought the batteries, but couldn’t seem to drum up the courage to actually put them in the scale, because that would mean I had no excuse not to just step on it and see what it said).  It took me until Sunday morning to summon the courage to actually get on the scale, though.

And when I did, I saw a number that I was so sure I’d never see on my scale again.  I saw a “2” as the first number.  The last time I’d gotten on the scale was months and months ago.  Maybe back in October or so. It said 190 lbs, and that number was scary enough, let me tell you. But last Sunday I saw 201 lbs looking back at me, and I felt my heart sink.  Not only that, but tears welled up in my eyes, and I actually started to cry.  So much of my personality is about being as close to “perfect” as I can be.  And while I know in my head that nothing and no one is ever perfect, it is an idea so deeply ingrained in me that it is always painful to accept when I’m feeling very “unperfect.”  And seeing 201 on that scale was about as “unperfect” as I have felt in a very long time.

A huge part is feeling that I’ve disappointed so many people. Everyone who has shown me so much support and encouragement in my weight loss journey. I’ve been feeling like a fraud, which, for someone who lives her life “out loud” like I do, is one of the worst feelings imaginable. I want to be someone other people admire, not another statistic who regains weight.

It brought up so many worries for me.  Would I just keep on going up and up and up and hit my highest weight again?  Would RDC3 still love me if he knew how much I weighed?  Would I be able to lose the weight AGAIN?

After he consoled me, and RDC3 and I started to talk, I realized: that by stepping on the scale I was ensuring that no, I would never again get to my highest weight; that he loves me for who I am on the inside, and although he wants me to be healthy so that we can have a long life together, he’s not worried about a number on a scale, and he is completely attracted to the way I look, extra lbs and all***; and yes, I WILL be able to lose the weight again because I am a fighter.

***While I did come clean with RDC3 and told him that I’d gained 31 pounds, I didn’t tell him the exact number on the scale.  He knows about my blog, though, so he will see it on here, which will make me feel like I’ve completely come clean with him.  I know that he won’t judge me about seeing 201 on the scale, because that’s not how he is.

How did I regain 30 pounds?  The sweet answer is that it is “love weight” now that I have RDC3 in my life.  We are always out and about and a lot of the time that also means eating out.  But let’s be honest, he or our relationship is not the reason I regained weight.  In fact, I was already regaining a bit by the time I met him last May.  My lowest recorded weight ever was 167 at some point in late 2014/early 2015.  Last May 13, 2015 (3 days before my first date with RDC3) I weighed in on MFP at 177, which is a 10-lb gain.  And I know it slowly crept up from there.  Sure, going out to eat more often was a part of that regain.  But an even bigger part was that I stopped:

  • planning and prepping healthy meals where I weighed and measured everything, opting instead to buy pre-made salads from TJs, many of which had a protein-to-calorie ratio that was way off from what I know helps me lose weight.
  • logging my meals into MyFitnessPal
  • working out consistently, or even working out at all.  There were many weeks in the past 11 months where I didn’t work out even one day of the week, let alone the 5-6 times that I was doing when I was really on my game
  • drinking enough water

Basically, I stopped doing all the things I know that I should be doing in order to lose weight.

RDC3 was very concerned that he’d “been a bad influence on me” because I’ve regained this weight in the time that we’ve been together.  But I told him that actually, that isn’t true. I’d been out of my routine and gaining weight even before we met each other, it just hadn’t really shown up yet on the scale or in the way my clothes fit.  And none of that had anything to do with him.  Because we live 40 miles away from each other and have opposite work schedules, he and I are only able to see each other on the weekends, so I have no excuse for why I wasn’t doing what I should have been during the week.  And RDC3 is someone who doesn’t feel settled and at peace with himself if he doesn’t work out, so he works out really consistently, at least 3-4 times a week.  We even belong to the same gym, and he’s always asking me to go with him when we’re together on the weekends.  He has also gained about 25 lbs since we’ve started dating, and he’s not happy with where he is on the scale, so he’s so supportive of any efforts towards a healthier lifestyle.  No, this weight gain is all my fault.

But the good news is, it’s also all in my control to start losing weight again.  And that’s the kind of power that I thrive off of.

This past week I’ve been off for spring break, and while I haven’t gone full force into weight loss mode, I have made some small, yet significant, changes.  I’ve been starting my mornings with protein shakes 4 out of the past 7 days.  I’ve been a lot more active, getting in hikes, walks, and a trip to the gym.  Until I got a pretty bad cold, that is.  But still, I was on a good roll.  I’ve also been cooking low carb, high protein dinners which I’ve been really enjoying (have you seen them on IG?).  I’ve also been drinking lots more water.   Those are the ways that I lost weight before, and those are the ways that I’m going to lose weight again.

My plan is simple:

  1. plan, prep, and eat high protein, low carb, low calorie meals
  2. because life is meant to be enjoyed, make those meals taste good and avoid food ruts
  3. indulge on the weekends, but only in moderation – one meal, a few cocktails, not 2 days of craziness
  4. log everything into MFP
  5. workout 5 days a week, at a minimum.  Not only is RDC3 a member of my gym, but so is Tinkerbell and another great friend of mine, plus I don’t mind working out alone.  I love my ToneItUp community on social media, which inspires the heck out of me.  And now that the weather is going to be getting better and the days are lighter longer, I can get activity in doing things I love, like riding my bike.
  6. drink more water.  I’ve been so negligent about this prior to this past week that I am going to be happy with 6-8 glasses a day, even though I know I should drink 8-10.  A little at a time.
  7. weigh in weekly. To keep myself accountable, RDC3 and I are going to weigh in and tell each other the results every Sunday.  I’ll also write a blog post about it. (I’ve really missed writing my weekly weigh-in posts).

I’m not kidding myself into thinking that these 7 steps are going to be easy-peasy, because they’re not.  They are simple, but they take enormous effort and energy.  This time weight loss isn’t going to be the main focus of my life as it has been in the past, because I have an amazing man in my life and all of the experiences that come with being in love. It will be a priority, because I also know in my heart that weight loss is still important to me, so I will do whatever it takes to make it fit into my new life so that it can happen.

I know how good I feel when I eat right, workout regularly, and start to see results.  I love all of the positive reinforcement I get from living a healthy lifestyle.  I want that back, and I know that I can do it again.

By writing all of this out, I’ve already taken a huge leap.

Remember Oprah’s cover photo a few years ago?

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As she might say, “Honeychild, I know where you were, where you want to be, and what you’re going through.”

And just like Oprah finally “came clean” on the cover of her nationwide magazine, I’m finally “coming clean” here on my blog.

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Every year I find a mantra that I try to live by for the year.

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I was in the last stage of my weight loss journey, with only about 20 pounds to go to reach my ultimate goal weight.  Then life happened (fabulous, wonderful, incredible things happened, don’t get me wrong), and I regained 30 pounds. Not in my plan, but it happened.

So true to Bella form, I’m ready to dust myself off and get back to what I KNOW I can do.  To prove to myself that my incredible weight loss wasn’t just a fluke.  That it really is a lifestyle.

  • I have proven to myself  before that I am stronger than any obstacle in my path.
  • I have proven to myself before that I can accomplish amazing things when I set my mind to them.
  • I have proven to myself before that I am worth the tremendous effort it takes. Every single bit of it:
    • every minute spent planning healthy meals
    • every trip to the grocery store for healthy food
    • every meal logged into MyFitnessPal
    • every ounce of sweat in my workouts
    • every  time I hold my breath right before I step on the scale
  • I have proven to myself before that I can make weight loss a priority in my life.  This time it won’t be my main priority, because my life is so much fuller now than it ever was before (which I’m incredibly grateful for), so this will be a very new aspect of this journey.
  • I have proven to myself before that I can reach my dreams.

And since I’ve proven all of this before, I CAN do it again.  I WILL do it again, and then some!

So it’s ok that I now have 50 pounds to get to my ultimate goal weight.  I am confident that I will get there.  And who knows?  Maybe the reality check of gaining weight when I got too lackadaisical will be the kick in the booty that I need to get all the way there. No, strike that.  Not “maybe,” it is the inspiration I need to get myself all the way there.

I’m ready.

 

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Every year I find a mantra that I try to live by for the year. I’d seen this quote a few times, and it just spoke to me.

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Now that I’m on the last leg of my weight loss journey, I’ve found that it’s all about doing the small things every day that make a big difference in the long run. It’s not about major lifestyle changes because I’ve already set a healthy life in place.

This year it’s about reminding myself that every single day…

  • each step I take is a choice
  • each step I take shows my true intentions
  • each step I take becomes incorporated into the person I am
  • each step I take moves me through the world in a positive direction
  • each step I take matters
  • each step I take brings me closer to my goals

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Talk about spoiled! Driving with the top down on a sunny, 70-degree day in January!

Talk about spoiled! Driving with the top down on a sunny, 70-degree day in January!

Happy Sunday!  I seem to begin every new blog post this way lately…it’s been far too long since my last post.  To be honest, I really don’t know why.  My new position as a new teacher advisor does make my work day a bit longer than when I was teaching, but I also don’t have any grading, so that’s not really it.  I think I’ve just gotten out of the habit.  When something exciting or fun happens, my first thought is “I’ll put it on Instagram” rather than, “I’ll write a blog post.”  Maybe it’s just that my interaction with social media has changed?  In any case, I do still love writing and getting my thoughts out, and I would like to blog more often in 2015.  Anything would be better than what I’ve been doing in the last 6 months, right?

Romance Update – Currently there’s nothing on the horizon in terms of dating.  Since my last update, I’ve gone on a few dates.  A few of them were promising, but then things just sort of fell apart.  It seems to be the norm with online dating that people just kind of disappear.  Things are going well, we’re texting or talking daily, we may go on a date or two, text and talk less frequently, and then it’s just radio silence.  It gets really disappointing.  As much as I really want to meet someone and get into a relationship, this whole process is very frustrating.  Right now I’m on a bit of a break because I just wasn’t seeing many people who interest me.  When I’m out and about, watching football or enjoying a meal with friends, I don’t get approached by guys.  Maybe it’s too intimidating to come up to a group, or maybe I’m just not giving off the approachable vibe.  Friends in person or on social media tell me how pretty I am (without trying to sound conceited), and I’ve lost all this weight and I look so much healthier, so why is it that I can’t seem to meet someone?  I’m not giving up, but it’s hard not to lose hope.

Fitness Update – Just like blogging, I haven’t been in the gym much in these last 4-5 months, but that doesn’t mean my fitness routine has gone totally out the window.  4-5 times a week I workout at home. Cardio is either jumping on my home elliptical or doing a HIIT routine.  For toning, I’ve been following the plan that ToneItUp.com puts out every Sunday.  I really enjoy their workouts because they’re easy to do and I notice a difference in the way my body looks and feels when I do them regularly.  But I do miss going to the gym because there is a better variety of equipment there. Plus, seeing other people pushing themselves really motivates me.  So I want to start going to the gym to workout or take classes at least twice a week moving forward.

Weight Update – I’m pleased to say that I’m at my lowest weight to date – 170.0.  I’m soooooo close to getting into the 160s!!  I know that if I just stick to eating protein and veggies, limiting starches like rice, potatoes, and bread to midday meals most days, I will reach the next weight category soon.  Moving forward, my plan is to continue doing what I know how to do – prepare flavorful, healthy meals and keep indulgences to once or twice a week.

Remembering Why I Love Blogging Update – Two weeks ago I participated in the SF Hot Chocolate 5K, and as my cousin, her friends, and I were waiting for the race to start, a woman came up to me and said, “Do you have a blog?”  When I said yes, she introduced herself as a longtime blog reader.  I was stunned that someone who reads my blog recognized me on that dark, early morning and took the time to say hello.  She said some other really heartwarming things, and it put me in such a great mood.  It also made me feel very guilty about the infrequency of my blog posts lately.

Body Consciousness Update – As I’ve written about so much in the past, even though I’m so proud of how my body has transformed with my weight loss, I’m also very self-conscious of the way my body looks.  Lots of loose skin that will never tighten up or show muscle tone not matter how many squats and lunges I perform.  I was talking with a male friend recently, and he really gave me a pep talk that helped me change the way I think about my body.  He and I got into a long, deep conversation, and he told me that the way I feel about myself is really all in my head.  When I explained my fears about someone seeing me naked and getting an unpleasant surprise because the way I look in clothes is so much better than without, he said I was crazy.  He told me that anyone who sees me has a very good idea of how I look, and that the loose skin that bothers me so much isn’t something that would put most guys off; at least not someone who is worth getting that intimate with.  He told me that I have a beautiful body, and his sincerity with the entire discussion assured me that he wasn’t just staying things to make me feel better.  He also said that I really need to get over this insecurity, because he’s sure that it spills over into the way I interact with the men I’m dating, and that it’s been holding me back in a major way. I can’t disagree with him.  Ever since our conversation last Sunday, I’ve been doing my best to reframe the way I think about my body.  You guys know how determined I can be, and I’ve decided to channel that determination into this new appreciation of how I look right now.

So that’s what’s been going on.  I hope you’ve all been doing well, and if you’ve read this far, I want to thank you for continuing to support me, despite my long absences.

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summer

It’s summertime! Which means that school is out, my schedule is my own, and I’m footloose and fancy free.  Summer means the weather is warm, the sun is shining, and I can kick my workouts (and my weight loss!) into high gear.  I have less than 30 pounds to go to reach my ultimate weight loss goal, and I plan to lose quite a bit of that this summer. But this summer is about so much more than losing weight; it’s about living my new life.  I worked so hard for this new, healthy body, and I want to spend this summer doing a lot of the things I only dreamed of doing when I was at my heaviest.  That means riding rollercoasters, running in 5Ks, trying new water sports, wearing styles (and sizes!) of clothes that I could never wear before.  I want to LIVE every moment of this summer to the fullest. I’ve moved my weigh-ins to Wednesdays as a way to check in midweek. My Wednesday progress updates will be called Sensational Summer Weigh-Ins.

Week 64 was quite a whirlwind, evidenced by the fact that I skipped reporting on Week 63 last week (I actually didn’t have a loss during Week 63), and missed my usual weigh-in report this Wednesday.  Nevertheless, this week was an amazing one for so many reasons.  I started a new job, was getting used to an entirely new schedule, enjoyed a great Trombone Shorty concert on Wednesday, and spent time with friends at the Italian Festa yesterday.

bilbl_scale.jpg So, what did the scale show?!

When I weighed in this morning, I was 175.2, which is a loss of 2.2 pounds this week, and a loss of 101.8 lbs since surgery! I’ve lost a total of 139.8 pounds from my highest weight!! I have 25.2 pounds to go to my ultimate goal weight of 150 pounds. I’m really excited with my weight loss progress this week, because my schedule was such a drastic change from what I’ve been used to.  Not only are my lazy days of summer gone, but this new position has me running around to 5 different campuses, scheduling multiple meetings a day, and working longer hours in the office than I would as a teacher.  I tried my best to wake up at 5am to get workouts in before work, but wasn’t able to any of the days.  Still, I packed my gym bag and went after work a few times, even though I was dog-tired.  I also took the time on Monday night to prep meals for the week, making sure I stayed on track.  I’m really proud of my commitment to my health in the face of all these extra responsibilities.

To set myself up for success this week, I’m going to meal prep tonight.  Breakfasts are easy – my protein shakes are simple to make and help me keep my protein intake high.  Lunches that I’ve been loving are salads made of spinach paired with all sorts of protein – tuna, chicken, and shrimp.  Dinners this week will be a nice combo of protein,  veggies, and complex carbs: lentils with turkey meatballs and spinach, mahi mahi burgers and zoodles, and chicken with summer squash.

I’m still going to give it my best to get up and workout before I head into work, but I am also ok with my backup plan of hitting the gym after work.  The gym is on my way home, so it makes it convenient to stop in before I get too relaxed.  Plus, working out after work is a great way to switch gears from work mode to relaxation mode.  I’m not going to put too much pressure on myself to workout in the mornings these first few weeks, until I get used to my new schedule.  As long as I get my workouts in, that’s all that really matters.

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Until Wednesday, my friends. I hope the scale treats you well, and that you have a wonderful week!

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summer

It’s summertime! Which means that school is out, my schedule is my own, and I’m footloose and fancy free.  Summer means the weather is warm, the sun is shining, and I can kick my workouts (and my weight loss!) into high gear.  I have less than 30 pounds to go to reach my ultimate weight loss goal, and I plan to lose quite a bit of that this summer. But this summer is about so much more than losing weight; it’s about living my new life.  I worked so hard for this new, healthy body, and I want to spend this summer doing a lot of the things I only dreamed of doing when I was at my heaviest.  That means riding rollercoasters, running in 5Ks, trying new water sports, wearing styles (and sizes!) of clothes that I could never wear before.  I want to LIVE every moment of this summer to the fullest. I’ve moved my weigh-ins to Wednesdays as a way to check in midweek. My Wednesday progress updates will be called Sensational Summer Weigh-Ins.

Week 62 was another great one. I got in good, solid workouts all week…that is until I went to a SJ Giants game on Saturday night and got hit in the ankle with a stray ball.  Ouch!  It immediately bruised and swelled up, prompting two unplanned rest days on Sunday and Monday.  Thankfully, yesterday I was able to get in a good sweat session on the stationary bike, and I even took Sofi for a quick walk around the neighborhood last night, so I’m on the mend.  The highlight of the week – the highlight of the summer – was riding roller coasters at Santa Cruz Boardwalk. The week was also filled with fun with friends & family – lunches, a shopping splurge, a picnic at a free summer concert, and a movie with my dad.

bilbl_scale.jpg So, what did the scale show?!

When I weighed in this morning, I was 177.4, which is a loss of 1 pound this week, and a loss of 99.6 lbs since surgery! I’ve lost a total of 137.6 pounds from my highest weight!! I have 27.4 pounds to go to my ultimate goal weight of 150 pounds. I’m actually really happy with my loss this week because my ankle is still pretty swollen, which may mean I’m retaining a bit of water.  Either way, it’s a loss during a week where I enjoyed lots of great food and didn’t get to work out as hard as I would’ve hoped the past few days. Still, I’m really glad that I’m seeing numbers on the scale that I haven’t seen since my early 20’s.  My body is looking fit, lean, and strong.  Even my thighs, which are my major problem zone, are showing improvement. I’m at such a great place in this journey, and even though the progress is slow, I’m proud that I am still making progress.

One week from today I’ll be at a professional development day for the new school year, followed by another on Thursday, and then the first required teacher workday at my school.  Which means I have one week left of summer vacation!  This summer has really flown by.  I’ve had a great, relaxing, rejuvenating summer.  There wasn’t a “wow” trip, but it was filled lots of other little moments that I’ll relish.  Almost-daily morning workouts with Tinkerbell to begin the day in a fantastic way, dates that gave me butterflies, tending to my beautiful flowers in my garden, loud laughter over drinks with the girls, fun bike rides all around the neighborhood, quiet talks with best friends, picnics at our weekly music concerts in the neighborhood, fun with my nieces (including a Zia and me day), shopping trips splurging on new items, tons of time with Sofi, and lots of time spent driving the Beetle with the top down, and lots of meals shared with the people I care about most.  I did every single thing on my #createyoursummer list (except that Hawaiian-themed party), which makes me immensely happy. I really lived life, got out and got social, and made each moment count. So many fun memories that will carry me through those crazy days of the coming school year.  One of the things I’m planning to do over the next week is to print out a bunch of the hundreds of pictures I snapped this summer to put them up in my classroom.  The kids love seeing the photos, and I do, too.  It’s a way to carry the magic of the summer throughout the rest of the year.

My goal for this week is to make the most of it.  To enjoy every minute and create more memories to add to my summer collection.  2014-06-21 07.44.31

Until Wednesday, my friends. I hope the scale treats you well, and that you have a wonderful week!

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summer

It’s summertime! Which means that school is out, my schedule is my own, and I’m footloose and fancy free.  Summer means the weather is warm, the sun is shining, and I can kick my workouts (and my weight loss!) into high gear.  I have less than 30 pounds to go to reach my ultimate weight loss goal, and I plan to lose quite a bit of that this summer. But this summer is about so much more than losing weight; it’s about living my new life.  I worked so hard for this new, healthy body, and I want to spend this summer doing a lot of the things I only dreamed of doing when I was at my heaviest.  That means riding rollercoasters, running in 5Ks, trying new water sports, wearing styles (and sizes!) of clothes that I could never wear before.  I want to LIVE every moment of this summer to the fullest. I’ve moved my weigh-ins to Wednesdays as a way to check in midweek. My Wednesday progress updates will be called Sensational Summer Weigh-Ins.

Week 61 was awesome!  Not only did I enjoy my increased calorie intake, but I got in 6 days of solid workouts (which helped me exceed my goal of #150bysummer!), and I finally made it to the beach for the first time this summer.  With only two weeks left before I start my teacher meetings, I’m determined to make each day count.

bilbl_scale.jpg So, what did the scale show?!

When I weighed in this morning, I was 178.4, which is a loss of 2.4 pounds this week, and a loss of 98.6 lbs since surgery! I’ve lost a total of 136.6 pounds from my highest weight!! I have 28.4 pounds to go to my ultimate goal weight of 150 pounds. I’m really excited to see a significant loss like this on the scale, because it’s been awhile!  Increasing my daily calories to around 1000 net calories per day is working well; it keeps me really satisfied throughout the day and it also curbs any cravings I may have. This morning’s weigh in marks my lowest weight on the scale in the last 20+ years, and I can’t wait to keep hitting new “lows” as these weeks continue.

One NSV that I’d like to share happened yesterday, on #TransformationTuesday, appropriately enough.  When I was originally asked to be a SweatPink Ambasador, one of the cool things the Fit Approach crew does is send out pink shoelaces and a SweatPink tank.  The shoelaces were no problem. The tank, though, didn’t fit, not by a LONG shot.  I ordered the largest size available, and there was no way on earth that it was going to fit me.  So I put it away for all this time.  Over two years it sat on a shelf, just waiting for the day when I could put it on.  For some reason, I decided to give it a try yesterday.  And you know what, it not only fit, but I was really happy with how I looked in it.

Here’s my post to the FB group:

SPAFB

I’m floored that 145 people “liked” my post!

Better than that was that when I posted about it on the SweatPink Ambassadors’ Facebook page, the outpouring of love and support was overwhelming!

Just a few of the comments I got from my SPAs

Just a few of the comments I got from my SPAs

Lately I’ve been seeing myself as a fit person, which is amazing to me.  For so many years I  was the “pretty plus-sized girl,” but now I’m proud of the body that I have.  I’m not hiding it behind loose clothes and layers, I’m wearing form-fitting outfits that show off my strong legs, shapely waist, curvy booty, and arms that are beginning to show some definition.  I love the way I’ve transformed, and I’m really enjoying dressing this new physique.  I like showing it off a bit, which is such a switch from the years of camouflaging my flaws.   Yes, I still have things I want to work on, but I’m happy to let the real me SHINE.

choosetoshine

Until Wednesday, my friends. I hope the scale treats you well, and that you have a wonderful week!

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summer

It’s summertime! Which means that school is out, my schedule is my own, and I’m footloose and fancy free.  Summer means the weather is warm, the sun is shining, and I can kick my workouts (and my weight loss!) into high gear.  I have less than 30 pounds to go to reach my ultimate weight loss goal, and I plan to lose quite a bit of that this summer. But this summer is about so much more than losing weight; it’s about living my new life.  I worked so hard for this new, healthy body, and I want to spend this summer doing a lot of the things I only dreamed of doing when I was at my heaviest.  That means riding rollercoasters, running in 5Ks, trying new water sports, wearing styles (and sizes!) of clothes that I could never wear before.  I want to LIVE every moment of this summer to the fullest. I’ve moved my weigh-ins to Wednesdays as a way to check in midweek. My Wednesday progress updates will be called Sensational Summer Weigh-Ins.

Week 60 was quite a mix.  I started off the week pretty strong – eating well and working out.  Then on Thursday, I got some really disappointing news and took a bit of a downward turn on Friday and Saturday. By Sunday I’d sort of pulled it together, and I’ve been going really strong since Monday.  Whew! Did you follow all that?

bilbl_scale.jpg So, what did the scale show?!

When I weighed in this morning, I was 180.8. Technically, this is a gain from last week (2 lbs), but I went up over the weekend (<4 lbs), so this is a 2.8 lb loss since I weighed in on Monday.  I’ve lost 96.2 lbs since surgery! I’ve lost a total of 134.2 pounds from my highest weight!! I have 30.8 pounds to go to my ultimate goal weight of 150 pounds.

I’m not thrilled with myself that I let my emotions get the better of me on Friday and Saturday and spent much of the time sitting on the couch snacking.  I did get out with friends on Friday night, but that led to quite a few cocktails, which also had an adverse affect on my weight.  Could I have handled things differently?  Of course.  Was it a human response that I got under control after two days of wallowing?  Yes.  So I’m actually pretty proud of my ability to bounce back and move on from heartbreak.

The thing I’m actually excited to talk about today is the way I’ve tweaked my eating plan since Monday.  One of my pals on MyFitnessPal messaged me on Monday, asking about the idea of upping calories.  She’s about 6 months out from VSG surgery, and had an appointment with her doctor and nutritionist where they told her they wanted her to start eating more calories. Specifically, that they wanted her to get 1000 net calories per day.  She’s been following my food diaries from the beginning, and has modeled the way she eats after me – trying to eat a balanced diet of protein, veggies, and carbs.  Mostly whole foods, with the occasional treat thrown in.  She said she was hesitant to raise her calories, but tried it for one week, and after stalling on the scale two weeks in a row, she lost 5 pounds the week she upped her calories!

As you guys know, I’ve been basically the same weight for the past several months.  Even though I’ve been eating well, working out, getting lots of water, etc., my weight loss has basically become very stagnant.  I know it’s because I have so few pounds to lose to get to goal (compared to how many I had to lose to begin with)When I went to my 1-year follow up appointment, the nutritionist recommended that I increase my calories to 1200 per day, but I really didn’t think much of that advice, and just continued my normal eating.  Which meant eating between 850-950 calories a day, about 500-650 net calories.  Which is very low, when I think about it in those terms.  Now that I’m post-VSG I will never consume the amount of calories that someone with a normal stomach can, but I have been wanting to change something with my eating to see if I could shake up my body and amp up my weight loss. It makes sense that at this point post-op my body is getting too used to so few calories, and might even be in a bit of “starvation mode.” Although it’s much different for me with only 20% of a normal stomach, I do think upping my calories and eating more frequently will jumpstart my metabolism and lead to weight loss.

Actually, I don’t “think,” I know. I lost 2.8 pounds since Monday following the 1000 net calorie plan.  What I’ve come up with is adding in more snacks throughout the day, as well as incorporating some higher calorie, but very good for me, foods. For example, yesterday:

breakfast

A yummy green smoothie

Morning Snack

Morning Snack

A really great salad

A really great salad

Afternoon snack

Afternoon snack

Caprese salad and a tiny bit of pasta

Caprese salad and a tiny bit of pasta

Evening snack/dessert

Evening snack/dessert

Daily Total: 1437 calories, 102g protein, 138g carbs, 35g fiber, 68g fat! Net calories: 979.

The thing I like about increasing my calories this way is that I am eating foods that I’ve shied away from because they had more calories, but that I love. I’ve noticed that I haven’t had any cravings, either, because I know that I’ll be enjoying something I like soon enough.  I’m going to give it until next Wednesday and see if the results continue.  If not, I can always go back to what I was doing before. But I have a strong feeling this is going to work well.

Workouts are going great, and I love being able to workout first thing in the morning.  The realization hit me today that I only have 2 1/2 weeks before I start my teacher meetings and school starts, and I’m very grateful that I will have a morning prep so I can continue the beginning of the day workouts without having to get up at 4am!

My goal for these next 2 1/2 weeks is to enjoy every bit of summer vacation that I can.  Which means going to the beach, riding roller coasters at the Boardwalk, hitting the road for a girls’ trip to Long Beach, and simply enjoying the quiet moments in my backyard with Sofi.

This week is all about being open to changes. I’m grateful that I’m someone who embraces change – it’s needed and necessary.

2014-04-06 19.15.38

Until Wednesday, my friends. I hope the scale treats you well, and that you have a wonderful week!

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summer

It’s summertime! Which means that school is out, my schedule is my own, and I’m footloose and fancy free.  Summer means the weather is warm, the sun is shining, and I can kick my workouts (and my weight loss!) into high gear.  I have less than 30 pounds to go to reach my ultimate weight loss goal, and I plan to lose quite a bit of that this summer. But this summer is about so much more than losing weight; it’s about living my new life.  I worked so hard for this new, healthy body, and I want to spend this summer doing a lot of the things I only dreamed of doing when I was at my heaviest.  That means riding rollercoasters, running in 5Ks, trying new water sports, wearing styles (and sizes!) of clothes that I could never wear before.  I want to LIVE every moment of this summer to the fullest. I’ve moved my weigh-ins to Wednesdays as a way to check in midweek. My Wednesday progress updates will be called Sensational Summer Weigh-Ins.

Week 59 was great!  I spent 1 1/2 of the days at the beginning of the week in Sacramento at a teaching conference.  The weekend was full of activity, and the past few days were just fun.  It was a busy week, with lots of eating out, yet I’m proud of how well I stuck to my plan and fit in all the exercise.

bilbl_scale.jpg So, what did the scale show?!

When I weighed in this morning, I was 178.8, which is a loss of 1 pound this week, and a loss of 98.2 lbs since surgery! I’ve lost a total of 136.2 pounds from my highest weight!! I have 28.8 pounds to go to my ultimate goal weight of 150 pounds. This is a solid loss for a week that was completely outside my normal routine.  Not only that, but this week’s weigh-in takes me to my lowest weight as an adult, which is exciting!  I’m also really happy to see a loss after a few weeks of maintenance spurred on by indulgences.  Not to mention the fact that weight loss is so much more difficult at this stage of the journey.

Now that I have less than 30 pounds to go to get to my ultimate goal weight, weight loss has really slowed down.  I know it doesn’t help that I’ve been going out a lot, drinking more alcohol than normal, and enjoying the summer to the fullest.  Not that a healthy eating plan can’t include meals out or cocktails, but let’s be honest, there are a lot more calories when you eat that way.  So, it’s a balancing act – I want to continue my active social life, but I have to keep my focus strong so that I can continue to see losses on the scale.

My workouts are the things that haven’t suffered one iota in all of this merriment, and for that I’m eternally grateful.  I absolutely love working out – the way I can move my body, the ways I can push myself to new levels, and of  course the proud feeling I get after a kickass workout. I’ve really discovered how much better morning workouts make me feel, and I am looking forward to continuing those during the school year.  This week I’ve got a couple new workouts planned, which should be fun to try.  Working out has really become my major hobby; it’s not just something that I get through, but something that I enjoy.

At this stage in my journey, I am content.  I still have pounds to lose to get to my goal weight, but I’m very pleased with the way that I look and feel right now.  I’m not ready to call this my goal weight or to say that I’m in maintenance, but I am also very happy with the person I am right now in this very moment.  That’s something I’ve never experienced before.  I like the woman who is reflected back at me in the mirror.  I enjoy shopping for clothes at this size, and the admiring looks I get from men as I walk down the street/in the mall/at the grocery store. Not to mention the fact that I can run up a flight or two of stairs without getting the least bit winded.  I’m still striving towards my goal, but I’m loving the NOW, too.

486373b50c7236309414b450abf49e03

Until Wednesday, my friends. I hope the scale treats you well, and that you have a wonderful week!

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