I have quite a few updates to cover, so let’s dig right in, shall we?
I’m actually glad I waited to update this, because I was confused for about a week or so, and then as it usually happens, things clarified themselves pretty quickly.
Let’s start with TR. Technically, we’re not dating, since we were getting together for dinner “as friends.” Still, it had been a few months since we’d seen each other, and I was a bit nervous about how it would go. It was nice that TR had asked me to bring Sofi, because the dogs automatically eased whatever awkwardness there would have been. Both dogs love playing together, something that TR commented on a few times that evening. He’d prepared a really special dinner for me: grilled Italian sausage, risotto made from scratch, grilled onions & bell peppers, and a beautiful salad with artichoke hearts, chopped olives, tomatoes, and a yummy vinaigrette. We also had some really great red wine. The fact that he put in so much effort to make such a lovely dinner really made me feel special. We enjoyed the food, took a long walk after dinner with the dogs, and then came back and watched a bit of TV. Things definitely stayed at the friend level, but being around him reminded me of how much I enjoyed hanging out with him. We have so many things in common – our Italian heritage, our love of local sports teams, cooking/eating great food, and our dogs. He’s classy, fun, and there’s just something there. On my part. And maybe on his too, because he mentioned that he never got my recipe for pesto when I cooked for him in the summer, to which I replied, “so are you saying you’d like a live demonstration?” He said he did. So we have plans for him and his pup to come over soon so I can make pesto for him and he can copy down the recipe. (Or maybe it’s just an excuse for us to hang out again?). One of my friends asked me why I’m still hanging out with him, because if I had my way, we’d still be dating, and he says that he doesn’t want to since I don’t want to have kids and he does. She thinks I’m setting myself up for disappointment, and that it must be so difficult. I told her that I really do like spending time with him, and that if I’m honest, I am hoping that somehow he changes his mind and decides that he’d like to start dating again at some point. And besides, it’s not like I’m not dating other people and pinning all my romantic hopes on him. But I do see her point, and maybe I’ll eventually feel like the situation is too frustrating.
Moving on to the sheriff…he came over two weeks ago and we hung out watching Sunday Night Football and getting a little more physical (I’ll spare the details, nothing too serious happened). One good thing is that my worries about the way my body looks weren’t an issue that night at all. I’ve come to realize that if I’m with the right person, someone who makes me feel like he adores me, the issues I have with my body won’t really come into play. The evening left me very confused because I just wasn’t physically attracted to sheriff, and I’m not talking about anything that happened when we were making out, but more in just how he looks in general. I know that sounds pretty shallow, but attraction is important. So I began the week not knowing what I was going to do, if I wanted to continue seeing him, or if I should cut it off. We were texting everyday, but I was moving more toward letting him go. And then this past Tuesday, when the Ferguson verdict came out, he texted me some photos that were in very poor taste, bordering on racist. We hadn’t even said hello or good morning, and he was sending me photos about the looting and rioting that were really disgusting. Not that I condone looting and rioting, but I know he was doing it to see if he could get me going. I didn’t reply to the first photo, because he’d sent it in a group text, but after the second photo came through to just me, I had to respond:
Me: not funny
Sheriff: I think it’s hilarious
Me: that’s the crux of the problem
Sheriff: (I won’t repeat his response, but he went into this whole diatribe about how the liberal media was making it about race, when it clearly wasn’t about race)
WTF? Is he serious right now? This was just too much for me.
Me: Listen, I don’t want to debate this with you. Those pictures you sent me were in poor taste and showed a side of yourself that I don’t want to get to know better.
And that was that. Problem solved. Confusion over. No response, and we’re done. And to be honest with you, I haven’t given him a second thought since. I knew that dating someone who holds such different ideologies from me wouldn’t work. At first I thought his views were more moderate, but those photos and his subsequent response showed that he and I hold much different views on race, justice, etc. So it’s time to move on. And before you think I’ve made these decisions because of TR, I didn’t. The confusion with the sheriff started before I went over to TR’s for dinner, although after the dinner I did feel like the connection I feel with TR was lacking with the sheriff.
At the moment there are no other people on eHarmony that I’m interested in, but I get new matches daily, so who knows. Plus, I’m actually hoping to just meet someone when I’m out and about. There’s no rush, and I don’t feel any pressure to “get a boyfriend,” so I’m just going to stay open and see who comes my way.
These past couple of months my weight has been at a standstill. Mostly because I haven’t been putting as much effort into working out and eating as I should have been. I haven’t been going wild with food, and I have been getting in workouts a few times a week, but I’ve basically been in maintenance mode. Which actually makes me happy to know that I can successfully maintain my weight…when the time comes. But that time isn’t here yet. I have 20 pounds or so to lose, and I’m determined to get back on the losing track.
I know lots of people would look at the calendar, see the holiday season coming, and say, just get back to it in January. But that’s not me. Why let a whole month go by without working towards my goals? After all, I’m not that into sweets, so holiday treats don’t tempt me, and Christmas Eve and Christmas Day are just two days, two meals, really. So there’s no reason not to start back tomorrow, December 1st.
As luck would have it, I was on Instagram the other day when I saw that Fit Girls Worldwide posted about a Winter Wonderland 28-Day Challenge that was beginning December 1st. So I decided to buy their guide and join in on it.
The meal plan is fairly simple, full of well-balanced meals that are pretty easy to make. The guide comes with a shopping list for the week, which makes it very convenient. Because the meal plan is all about eating clean, healthy food, it does require meal prep. Luckily I don’t mind cooking, and I love that the guide gives tips on how when to prep which meals, which makes it very organized. I am going to have to modify the portions, but other than that, the meal plan looks good. At first I was put off a bit that there are only two different dinner ideas for the week, because I am all about variety. Then I realized that the meal guide is perfectly planned so that it uses up all the food on the shopping list for the week, and I know that I normally throw out extra food that I can’t eat when I cook too many different dinners. So sacrificing a bit of variety for less food waste is something I’m willing to try. The plan doesn’t include as much protein at each meal as I’m used to having, but I’m willing to give it a shot for 28 days to see how it works.
Making December Spectacular
My goal for this week is to be active each day, include 5 TIU workouts, stick to this new food plan, and check in a lot on Instagram. I’m looking forward to starting the last month of the year tomorrow with a renewed energy and a great plan. I’m motivated and excited!