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Posts Tagged ‘comfort’

This month I’m participating in 30 Days of Thanks (#30DaysofThanks) by writing a blog post about 30 things I’m thankful for. To join in, go to the link above. The best part is, you don’t need to have a blog or even be on social media to take part in the project; you just need to be thankful. I can’t wait to see how my life might change by spending the 30 days in November giving thanks for things in my life — every single day.

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Today I’m grateful for these warm, fuzzy socks that my sister and nieces gave me when they Boo’d me for Halloween. Instead of giving me candy that I couldn’t eat, they gave me these socks and some nail polish, which was so supportive and thoughtful. Whenever I see the socks, I think of them.

Tonight when I got home from work my house was freezing, and the socks offered comfort and helped me relax from a really long day. They were like getting a big hug from the girls. 🙂

The socks are a reminder that sometimes the smallest gifts are the ones that mean the most.

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Many of you know that ScaleWarfare and I are BFFs in blogland.  We’ve never met in person, but we’ve been friends for a couple of years via our blogs.  About a year ago (more now) SW and I started emailing each other our daily food logs to keep each other accountable, for encouragement, and for support.  Just knowing that someone out there understood my struggles made them easier.  She and I are similar in so many ways.  In fact sometimes we sort of freak each other out with how spookily similar we are.  😉 She and I have been through so much on our weight loss journey, and it’s happily carried over into our personal lives too.

We started giving each other gifts to celebrate all of life’s joys – birthdays, weddings (hers), and just because.  We do it because we want to let the other one know we’re thinking of her, or that we want her to smile through a rough day, or because she deserves it.  You know, all the reasons that friends are there for each other.

I consider SW one of my very best friends, but today that notion was forever solidified when I recieved this:

What an overwhelming surprise!  She took one of the many photos that I have of Lulu and turned it into this amazing keepsake.  It’s printed on a canvas so it’s more like a painting, and she had it personalized with Lulu’s name.  It also has a little poem on it that is beyond sweet:

Dogs come into our lives, leave paw prints on our hearts, and we are forever changed.”

It’s perfect!  Not only does it capture everything that I feel, but it has one of my very favorite photos of Lulu. I’d said I’d wanted to have a photo collage to hang up, but this is even better! Now every time I look at it I’ll remember Lulu as a little puppy, but I’ll also be reminded of what a great friend SW is to me.  And I’ll feel loved for both reasons.

ScaleWarfare, I can’t begin to tell you how much this means to me.  You are the BEST friend anyone could ever ask for.  You are thoughtful, kind, supportive, empathetic and truly special.  I am honored to call you my friend. It’s amazing to me that two people who have never met face to face can become so significant in each others’ lives.  Thank you!

And now you know this means that we need to meet up somewhere halfway in between our two homes even more!  I can’t wait to give you a huge hug and thank you for everything.  You are the embodiment of friendship!!

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Lately I’ve been doing OK  with my eating and working out (overall), yet there is this underlying feeling of frustration that the 34 lbs that I need to lose in order to get on the waiting list for lap band surgery isn’t coming off as quickly as I’d like or feel that it should.

Part of the frustration is that one of the reasons that I want/need to have the lap band surgery is that I find it difficult to control my portions.   Very difficult.  And yet they want me to lose 30 pounds (which is no small amount!) on my own.  Now, I totally get that they want to see that I can stick to an eating program and that losing the weight will aid the surgery, because there will be less fat around my organs, etc., but it’s still overwhelming for me.

So much so that I get really upset with myself.  I wonder if I should have quit smoking when I did, because since quitting the scale has crept up, not back.  I’m seeing numbers I never, ever wanted to see.  I’m battling myself to deal with the cravings that hit every once in a while to have a cig.  Which does not mean that I’m going to start smoking again – I’m not.  And I’m proud of myself for staying smoke free for 99 days.

But that doesn’t negate the fact that I am snacking more than I should, and it’s showing up in the scale.  And  that’s so upsetting to me, because I am putting so much pressure on myself to finally show some results on the scale.  I have a clear goal, lots of motivation, so WHY CAN’T I DO IT?

These are the thoughts that roll through my head throughout my waking hours.

And then last night I had a dream that was so comforting, so reassuring that I woke up with a sense of calm and peace.  I can’t remember exactly what the dream was even about, but when I woke up, I KNEW that I would lose the weight I needed to. I knew that this time it would work.  That if I just gave myself a little more credit, and was a tiny bit patient with myself, I would be on that pre-op liquid diet before I knew it.

And that was such a relief!

I think this dream was meant to show me that I need to keep going, that I’ve been on this journey for over 2 years, and I’m FINALLY making small progress, so I shouldn’t give up on myself.  I need to keep the faith that I WILL be able to lose the weight to get on that list so that I can start the real journey of losing over 100 pounds.

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