Let me start by saying that I’m not sure if I’ve ever been more excited to write a post since I started this blog 7 1/2 years ago. Longtime readers know that this blog has mainly focused on my weight loss and healthy living journey. You’ve been with me through the struggles, the striving, and the successes. But one of the underlying dreams I’ve had for years, one that I wrote a lot about on my original blog, was to have a romantic relationship.
When I was at my heaviest weight, feeling insecure about how I looked and feeling like my outside didn’t match the inside, I just gave up on dating. I wasn’t meeting quality people; actually they were just the opposite of that. I decided that if this guy wasn’t someone I’d date when I was at my goal weight, why would I settle and date him now? On the one hand, it was empowering to know that I was worth more than hanging out with some random guy. On the other hand, my lack of a dating life was an area that left me with such longing. Not one to dwell on the negative, I pushed past any thoughts of “I wish I had a boyfriend…” and just focused all of my energy on myself and losing weight. That tactic paid off, and I couldn’t be happier with the results of all of my hard work.
In the back of my head I thought that once I lost all the weight, I’d be able to meet a really great guy and finally start that part of my life again. Little did I know how difficult it would be to find someone even at a normal weight. Lots of bad dates with odd ducks, dates with guys who weren’t into me, good dates with people I thought had potential, but didn’t end up working out. I’ve written quite a bit about how frustrating the whole thing was, and I took another break at the end of the summer last year.
At the beginning of May, my friend encouraged me to join Zoosk, which is an online dating site that I hadn’t heard of before. After kissing a lot of frogs, she had found a great guy and she wanted me to give it a shot, too. So I went on the site, uploaded my photos, wrote a bit about myself and crossed my fingers. I got a lot of attention from all sorts of men, and sifting through everyone was a bit overwhelming. Lots of chatting, texting, talking on the phone, and even one date that was pretty humbling. (I thought we’d had a pretty decent date, albeit not a lot of chemistry, but when I texted to thank him for the dinner, he just disappeared). Online dating makes people think it’s ok to be rude – ugh.
Through all of this, there was one guy that had completely intrigued me. RC3 had such a sincere profile, was a complete doll, was my same age, had a passion for photography and art, and didn’t have kids. He was like an online dating unicorn!! We texted back and forth for a few days, and then started talking on the phone. As soon as we were on that first phone call, I knew that we had chemistry and wanted to get to know him even better. The one downside was that we lived about 30 miles from each other and had completely opposite work schedules. When I mentioned that this might pose a problem, his reply was, “these are easy obstacles to overcome.” That positive attitude put a smile on my face, and made me take even more notice of him.
He asked me out for that Saturday, May 16th. We were meeting at Santana Row, a great spot near my house with lots of stores, restaurants, and bars. It was ideal because we could walk around and see where we felt like going. Plus, it’s really beautiful. I’d decided to go to Dry Bar to get a blowout so that I was looking my best, but of course the stylist was 30 minutes late. Not the best way to start out a date – worried and running behind. RC3 was super cool about it when I texted him, telling me to take my time and not worry about it. That put me at ease, and showed me that he was a really flexible, patient person.
Our meeting spot allowed me to scope him out a bit as I walked up to him, before he saw me. I knew he was tall (6’3″) and good looking, but when I walked up and saw him, the word that popped in my head was “whoa!” He was even better in person than in his profile. (A rarity that only those who have been on a date with someone whose profile picture is 10+ years old can understand). He has the warmest eyes and the sweetest smile, and he seemed really happy to see me, too. He complimented my hair, and I said, “well, you have to say that after making you wait!” It broke the ice, although I had a nervous excitement that I couldn’t shake. But I knew he liked what he saw, and that gave me the best confidence boost.
Our first date was really awesome – we had a great dinner, walked around looking at all the shops, talked easily, had drinks at a pretty outside bar, and just clicked. The chemistry was so strong that when we were sitting outside at the bar I did something that I never do – I leaned over and kissed him! Such a huge risk (especially for a girl who doesn’t like to make the first move with guys) but it paid off, because he kissed me right back, and we shared an amazing first kiss. He confessed that he’d been wanting to kiss me for awhile, but wanted to be a gentleman. So sweet! As he walked me back to my car later in the evening, we even took a selfie to commemorate the date. I can’t tell you how cool it was that he didn’t mind taking photos like that, since I drive my family and friends crazy with how often my camera is out to capture memories. (Although that makes sense, since he is a photographer).
We hung out the next evening, where I drove up to his area and he showed me all around. More selfies, more kisses, more laughs, more butterflies, and more getting to know each other. We have so many things in common – love the same kind of music, enjoy the same types of tv shows and movies, have cultures that value family and food, and are both honest, sincere people. I can trust him and he knows he can trust me, too. He likes that I’m a strong woman, thinks my “spiciness” is sexy, and just gets me. I can’t tell you how exceptional that is, because my personality is definitely not for everyone. I like that he’s such a gentleman who opens doors for me (every single time we get in the car, he opens the door for me, which I love), has such a giving heart, and has an artsy side that completely captivates me.
Every time we see each other, we get closer and closer. We have the best time when we’re together, whether we’re eating a great restaurant or strolling the aisles at Target. It’s so fun showing each other around our cities and making new discoveries together. Things are so easy between us – we just have an ebb and flow that works perfectly together – he’s the calm to my excited, he’s patient when I’m impatient. We are both passionate people, although we display it in different ways. We just fit. And I feel absolutely lucky and so grateful that he found me on Zoosk.
If you can’t tell by now, sparks are flying!
Things are moving quickly, and while we’re being realistic, we both agreed to just go with the flow and not worry about timelines. We’re at the age where we’ve been hurt, know what we want, what we don’t want, and what we need from another person. So to me, if things move at a faster pace, it makes sense, because we’ve already done the hard work of wading through a lot of the B.S. that comes with dating. We’ve had lots of serious conversations about our pasts, shared things that we haven’t told very many people, and understand how where we’ve come from makes us the people we are today. We’ve allowed each other to be vulnerable with the other, taking the risk that comes with opening up. Those late night chats have allowed us to take the leap of faith that comes with commitment. With that said, I’m happy to announce that RC3 is my boyfriend!!!
My boyfriend?! I haven’t used those two words together in longer than I’d like to admit. Which makes it all the more special.
And remember all of those fears I had about getting intimate with someone? The worry that once the person saw me without my clothes on, things would be awkward, weird, or otherwise terrible? Not at all the case with RC3. Quite the opposite, actually. He makes me feel absolutely beautiful, flaws and all, because he doesn’t just see the outside, but connects with me on a much deeper level. It’s awesome when he compliments me on how pretty he thinks my eyes are, or how he likes my curves, or how cool my hair is, but it’s even more amazing when he looks at me and I know he’s seeing my soul.
I am beyond thrilled that summer is literally two days away and we have so many fun adventures ahead of us. We’ve already made so many plans about places we want to go and things we want to see. We’ve already spent many fantastic days together – walking along Jack London Square, popping into old bookstores, discovering a bike shop with the coolest cruisers, getting together with Tinkerbell and her hubby to watch the Warriors win, riding the roller coasters in Santa Cruz, hearing a great singer (Eilen Jewell) at a local jazz spot, and just looking at the moon while we’re on the phone together.
I can honestly say that I haven’t felt like this in years. When we’re together, I feel like I’m in my 20s, and not just because we both look young for our ages. But because I haven’t experienced something like this since that time. Actually, I haven’t really ever experienced something like this. I wasn’t ready for it then, but I am now. The connection I thought I’d made with people in the recent past pale in comparison to the connection that RC3 and I are forging. I love how attentive he is – texting and calling me even when he’s on a weekend boys’ trip and his friends give him a bad time for contacting me so much. Bringing me coffee from a great coffeehouse in Portland because he knows how much I like a good, dark roast. Sending me photos of his day. Letting me borrow his favorite art books. Listening to the songs that he knows I love. Just checking in to see how my day is going. We click on so many levels – artistically, emotionally, physically, and mentally. It’s exciting and never fails to take my breath away. You can see it in the Instagram photos I’ve posted. I’m completely smitten, and RC3 shows me in lots of little ways that the same is true for him.
I’m definitely falling…
…and it was completely worth the wait.