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Posts Tagged ‘drive’

I have been dying to write this post all day, but I’ve been stuck at work doing a million things at once, but I’ve finally got some time to sit down and write this. 

As you guys know, last Monday I started following Kaiser’s Lap Band pre-op 1200-calorie/day meal plan.  I have been using LoseIt to track my calories, and while I’ve been over 1200 each day, most days I’ve been between 1300-1400, which is still relatively low.  I’ve been focusing my meals around protein, and eating much less starch than I normally do.  Most of my carbs are coming from fruits/veggies, and while I do still eat rice, pasta, or other grains, I’m limiting them to 2-3 servings a day. 

I should also mention that this first week on the new meal plan has been my first week of quitting smoking.  Trying to quit and eating reduced calories has proved a bit challenging, but I actually surprised myself by doing so well this week (on both fronts). 

Possible TMI: One of the negative things that comes along with quitting smoking (besides an increase in appetite) is constipation.  I haven’t had too much of a problem with that this week, although this morning I did experience a bit.  To combat this, I’m going to start taking a fiber supplement, because the last thing I want to be is “backed up.”

I didn’t limit my social interactions this week, since it was my last full week before school starts back up and my time is more scarce.  Which means that I ate socially, I drank socially, and I enjoyed myself in moderation.  I was a bit worried about what these different eating/drinking events would do to the results on the scale, but as you’ll see, moderation is key.

Now, let’s get to that scale shot:

 Which means I lost 3.3 pounds this week!  An excellent start to the first week on a new program, I’d say.  Especially with everything else that’s been going on this past week.  I was so thrilled that my weight loss held steady from when I peeked at it earlier this week.  It shows me that following a lower calorie diet and eating/drinking socially in moderation really works.  I didn’t eat a lot of high-calorie foods, but I didn’t totally limit myself from them, either.  It makes me feel even more convinced that the Lap Band is going to work for me, because that’s the ultimate tool to practice moderation, since it limits the amount of food/drink you can consume. 

Overall, I’m hugely impressed with my attitude, my focus, and my determination.  I want to keep riding this wave, because I’ve been feeling so great about myself and my progress, and it’s been quite a while since I’ve been so happy about everything. 

Some goals for this coming week:

  1. Water.  I got in at least 48oz every day this past week, but I should be taking in at least 64oz, so I have to fit in a few more glasses to reach my minimum goal.  I know I can do it, I just have to put it into practice.
  2. Exercise.  As I mentioned yesterday, I did a bit of extra movement this week, but only a few days.  I would like to get back to working out 4-5 days of the week, at least. 
  3. Continue tracking in LoseIt.
  4. Stay to 1200 calories more closely than I did this week.

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Housing Update: I heard back from my future landlord yesterday, and he said that barring any unforeseen things on the background check, the duplex is mine!  This is fantastic news, and I am beyond thrilled.  I’m going to meet with him on Saturday to iron out the details of the deposit, etc., but by early next week, I should know FOR SURE that the place is mine.  Stay tuned. 

Smoke Free, Day 8 and I’m going strong. 

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Can you believe that we’re in the first week of December already?  I can’t.  This year has flown by, especially since September!  But enough of me trying to avoid talking about the weigh in.  Without further ado…

 Yep, that’s right, I gained. 4.3 pounds to be exact.  I didn’t weigh in last week, so this is technically the weight gain for  the past two weeks, but regardless, it’s a big gain, which sucks. 

I wasn’t sure what the scale would bring, because it’s TOM time again, and I didn’t track at all while I was away for Thanksgiving.  It felt freeing, in a way.  I ate when I was hungry, tried to make the best choices possible, and didn’t put too much pressure on myself.  I didn’t eat as many meals as I usually do, but my portions were bigger than normal on the meals that I did eat, so I was thinking that thing would work out in the end.  I also got a lot of walking in once we got to Chicago, which felt good.

So, moving forward into these last 3 weeks of 2009, I’m going to slowly get back in to working out.  I haven’t worked out at all since I’ve had bronchitis, but I’m finally feeling better now. The plan for this week is all about the Wii – Fit Plus, Sports Active, and Biggest Loser game.  Between those three Wii games, I should get in a decent workout each day, and slowly get my body back into working out mode.  Next week, I’m going to incorporate going to the gym on my own, along with the Wii.  The final two weeks I’ll be home on Winter Break, so I can really kick up my workouts and take some group exercise classes at the gym to get back on track to start seeing Jimmy when the new year comes. I’m really looking forward to moving my body again.  I’ve missed the sense of accomplishment that comes with it.

One thing I’ve noticed this week is that even though it’s hard to stay on a weight loss plan when away from home, it was easier not to overindulge because I wasn’t by myself at night.  My parents have always been huge supporters of mine, in life and in weight loss.  My mom is naturally slim now, although she was a bit overweight as a child.  But she sees herself as much heavier than she really is.  Growing up, she was very concerned about my sister’s and my weight, and I think we were always a bit more conscious of our eating when she was around.  I noticed that on this trip, because my parents and I were together every waking moment, I was much more conscientious about my eating.  I didn’t give in and eat more than I should just because something looked good or I had the “need” to eat.  Being in the company of other people at meal times definitely made it more of a social thing, and less about just the food itself.

Living alone, I have a lot of advantages because I only have to worry about cooking for myself and I can make anything that tickles my fancy.  The down side of living alone is that I’m not accountable to anyone.  If someone were here with me I know I wouldn’t overindulge as much as I do at night sometimes.  Even if they weren’t paying any attention to what I was doing, I know I’d never binge eat.  I care too much about appearances.  As it is now, I sometimes give in to the urges, and it’s easy for me to rationalize it to myself.

What I am going to do in these last four weeks is stop this roller coaster of gaining some, losing some, and regaining it again.  It has to end.  The way it ends is for me to stop giving in to every food whim that pops into my mind.  Especially at night.  This isn’t a holiday food and parties thing.  This is a getting a handle on my eating thing.  I need to stop fooling around and start to take this seriously, otherwise I’m going to keep doing this roller coaster dance and I’ll never get to my goal.  I need to start now so that I can begin 2010 with a renewed sense of purpose and focus on my goal.

I feel like much of this year was spent getting myself into the proper mindset.  Finding the time in my busy schedule for working out, cooking healthy meals, and preparing for the day.  I’ve got that down.  I’ve made lifestyle changes that will stick with me.  Now I need to go into 2010 with the drive and determination to take this weight off.  I need to stop playing games with myself and rationalizing when I eat more than I should.

It’s not that some people have willpower and some don’t.  It’s that some people are ready to change and others are not.” – James Gordon.

I’m ready to change! I am ready to take control! I am ready to get to goal!

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Yesterday my grandmother passed away and since then I’ve been in a very strange mindset.  I’m sad, but relieved, and happy that her pain is over; both mentally and physically.  My grandmother lived her life regretting so much and feeling embittered for those regrets, and if I have learned nothing else from her, it is that I don’t want to do the same thing.

This morning as I’ve been reflecting on everything and I’ve come to really, truly realize how precious this life is.  Not in a Hallmark card sort of way, but I’ve really FELT it.  I know we all know how short life is, but today it really struck me that I need to stop spinning my wheels and wasting my life being fat and really get myself in gear and live the life I am meant to have.

My grandmother always told me how pretty I was (complimenting me on my skin, my application of eyeliner, etc.), but I also know that she always wished I was at a healthier weight.  For my appearance, sure, but also so that I wouldn’t have health problems.  Toward the end of her life my grandmother always talked about the importance of being healthy.  And while she was never overweight, she didn’t lead an active lifestyle and I do believe that that contributed to many of her health problems (and issues of depression) later in life.

So I’m going to take these lessons and really put them into action.  I don’t want to live a life that isn’t all that it could have been.  I want to make sure that I am making each day count, that I am appreciating the gift that is life and family and friends, and the best way for me to show my gratitude for all the blessings I have is to take control of my health.  No more half-assed, pussy footing around weight loss for me.  I’m really going to act as if my life depends on losing weight, because it does.

I’ve been really sick with a terrible cold all week so I haven’t made it to any of the workouts I had planned earlier in the week, but I have been doing well on food, and I AM going to a WW meeting tomorrow, despite everything else that’s going on.  I need to, and I don’t want to put it off any longer.


That it will never come again

Is what makes life so sweet.

~Emily Dickinson

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