Posts Tagged ‘excitement’

Did you think I’d fallen off the face of the earth?  I can’t believe how long it’s been since my last post, or all that has happened in between.  There is so much to update!

First and foremost – I got a new job!!  It was completely unexpected, but when the opportunity presented itself, I knew I had to take it.  Let me step back.  For years, since I was in my masters program in 2006-2008, I knew that eventually I would like to become a New Teacher Advisor, which is someone who mentors first and second year teachers and supports them as they begin their careers.  Our local program is run out of the Silicon Valley/Santa Cruz New Teacher Project, which works in conjunction with all of the local school districts in the area.

I was first involved in the program as an inductee during my 3rd year of teaching.  (As longtime readers may recall, I first began teaching for two years, wasn’t happy with my placement, and took an opportunity to work for an internet company during the dotcom boom.  But I missed teaching, so after the thrill of the internet had died down, I decided to get back to it.  Since I’d been out of the classroom for 5 years at that point, the school district where I was working at the time asked me to do the new teacher program, which I agreed to).  At that point, back in 2002, the New Teacher Program was just beginning.  It offered support, assessment, and training, but I still had to take separate classes, which I paid for out of pocket, to clear my credential.  Still, my experience with the program, and especially my mentor teacher, was so phenomenal, that I knew at some point I would like become a mentor teacher.  Plus, my experience at the internet company, where I was training and supervising a group of 20 people, set me up well for the position.

Skip to two weeks ago, when a job posting for the New Teacher Advisor went out from my district office.  It was August 8th, a week before our first teacher workday and less than two weeks before school was starting.  Could I really apply for this job at this point in the summer, leaving my principal in a really bad position to try and fill my spot?  Not that I think I’m irreplaceable, by any means, but my schedule was one that no one else would be crazy enough to want.  I taught four different classes – English 3 honors, yearbook, journalism, and AVID. No one in their right minds would want that schedule (although I loved the variety it brought), especially that late in the year.  I talked to my parents, a couple of colleagues, and did a lot of soul searching.  Ultimately I decided to go for it because these positions don’t come up very often.  The deciding factor was the other teacher I’d be working with if I got the position – she and I had worked closely together last year, and I loved her.  She and I have a very similar style of organization, communication, and planning and the areas in which we’re different compliment each other.  Since you work so closely with the other New Teacher Advisor, working well together is everything.  I knew I wouldn’t have the same opportunity to work with her again in this position.  So I went for it.

I put in my application, wrote my letter of intent, and scrambled to get the last-minute letters of recommendation I needed.  My colleagues and administrators wrote glowing reviews of me, and even if I didn’t get the job, they really boosted my spirits with what they’d said. I’d worked at my school for 10 years, and had forged relationships with my colleagues and students that had created a true community.  I would miss everything about my school, including teaching, but I also knew that the relationships I had with these people would last a lifetime, no matter where the future took me.

The week of August 11th was whirlwind!  On one hand I was preparing to start school as a teacher, but in the background, I was setting up the interviews for this new position.  If I got the position, would I start the year teaching and then move into the new position once they’d hired my replacement?  I couldn’t sleep at night, working through the scenarios of how the school would be able to replace me in the easiest way.  My head was swirling with the different teachers who might take on each of my assignments so we could cobble together a more reasonable position to hire for.  I was at a professional development for our district teachers on the morning of August 13th when I ran into the HR Director in the bathroom, who said she’d heard that I had applied, and she was really excited about it.  She said that if I were to get the position, she’d like me to start right away, and not have me in the classroom at all, because it would be easier for the students.  She said, “but you’re really difficult to replace.  Do you have any ideas?”  I told her a few of my thoughts, which she really liked, and it seemed like a great sign that I might actually get the job.  As luck would have it,  I gave a 15-minute presentation to the English teachers throughout the district about how I use Turnitin to make grading essays easier.  The Director of Curriculum saw me present, as did the Assistant Superintendent in charge of Curriculum.  My presentation was really well received, and it became a way for me to show my abilities in professional development, which would help me in my interview.  Everything was falling into place.

Friday morning I was at my school where I would be teaching if I didn’t get the job.  At the welcome breakfast I felt weird; I wanted to tell  my colleagues what was going on, but knew I couldn’t, since my interview was later that afternoon, and nothing was set yet.  I led my department meeting, since at that point I was still the department chair, but it felt so strange not to tell them about what was going on.  Still, no use in getting everyone riled up if I wasn’t certain about my status.  Later that morning I went into the vice principal’s office with him and our principal to share with them the ideas as to how to replace me, because both of them had the indication that I was going to get the job.  I was thrilled, but didn’t want to be overly confident, because until they offered me the position, it wasn’t mine.  After talking to the four teachers who would take the different sections I was to teach, we had a really viable position to offer someone new.  I can’t explain how appreciate I am that my colleagues stepped up at literally the last minute to take on a brand new assignment so that I could accept the job, if it was offered to me.  One more reason I absolutely love the school I’d been teaching at for 10 years.

I rushed home to change for the interview, because I had decided that I would go into it as if I didn’t work in the district.  In other words, I was taking it very seriously and wanted to present myself in the best possible light.  I would talk about myself as if they didn’t know who I was and what my accomplishments were.  I would go in there and prove that I was THE person for the job.  I had the interview at 3:30, and it went well.  It was a quick 30 minute back and forth where I answered a set of 12 questions.  I had thought that because of the timing I might have the second interview right away, but they told me they’d be in touch and sent me on my way.  I left the district office confused about when I would find out.  School started on Monday.  As I was pulling up to a colleague’s house to attend his TGIF, I got a call from the HR Director who said she’d like to do the 2nd interview on the phone.  All I kept thinking was that I hope my cell reception would last because I was in the hills, and it could be spotty.  She asked me a few hard-hitting questions, which I answered easily, and then, after about 20 minutes of the interview, she paused and said, “well, we’d like to offer you the job!”  Yay!!!!  I was elated, because even though all indications had looked like I would get the position, that my background and experience made me the ideal candidate, I still didn’t want to take anything for granted.  I was elated that I had the position!  I thanked her so much for believing in me and for giving me the opportunity, and went into the TGIF party, where my principal was in attendance, to tell everyone the good news.  It was bittersweet, because I will really miss working at my high school, but it was also amazing, because I was about to start this new adventure.

I spent all of Sunday cleaning out my classroom.  I worked hard, shed tears at all the memories, and also looked ahead to all that I was about to take on. As a New Teacher Advisor, would mentor new teachers, observe them, offer guidance, and gather resources that they needed.  I would be their lifeline into this new world of teaching, which can be daunting and overwhelming, but ultimately so satisfying. With the new position I also have the opportunity to create and present professional development for the new teachers, as well as any other teachers who want to come to them.  Presenting to adults is something that many educators find difficult, but something at which I thrive.  I’ve never felt nervous presenting in front of anyone, whether it’s a 16-year-old honors student or the CEO of a company.  My confidence allows me to command a room, and I was excited that I would get the chance to display my strengths in this area.

This Monday was my first day, and it was hectic.  I had a new office, a new position, new responsibilities, and a new schedule.  Because I work around when the 1st and 2nd year teachers have time to meet, my schedule isn’t set.  Eventually I’ll get into a regular schedule of meeting with them, but for now, my day-to-day routine was very scattered.  As much as I like change and variety, I also crave structure.  I like knowing my schedule, getting into a routine, and working within those boundaries.  It keeps me organized and sane.  Not to mention fitting in workouts.  I was a bit uncomfortable and overwhelmed at the beginning of the week with the amorphous nature of the days, but after I was able to take a bit of time to organize my appointments, I felt so much better.  Never once did I think I’d made a mistake, and I can already tell that I made the right decision.

This week has been chaotic, but it’s been wonderful.  I didn’t workout as regularly as I would have hoped, but I did fit in several cardio workouts.  I lost weight (more on that in a later post), and I was able to set a bit of organization in place.  I attended two trainings, drove to 4 schools, went to Santa Cruz for a forum, met individually with 4 new teachers, sent countless emails, and even prepared and presented an orientation for our 1st year teachers.  What a week!

I’m so excited with this new direction my career and my life has taken.  My main focus, besides doing an awesome job that supports these new teachers, is to retain a work/life balance.  I have struggled with that in the past, because my natural instincts as an overachieving perfectionist make me a workaholic.  I am bound and determined not to go down that rabbit hole as I have in the past.  I know that this new position will make my schedule challenging, but once I get into the rhythm of meeting weekly with the 18 teachers on my caseload, I know I’ll be able to build a manageable schedule.

It’s not lost on me that I have achieved another goal that I set for myself years ago.  I am so proud of myself and my accomplishments, and happy that my hard work over the years has led me to this point in my career.  I wanted this job for so long, and now I’m going to be able to do it! I’m thrilled at the possibilities that are laid out before me, and I want to appreciate all that I will experiencing.


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I’ve been wanting to write a post for the past day, but when I sit down to write, I don’t know exactly how to put what I’m feeling into words.  I keep using works like surreal and amazing, but even those seem to pale in comparison with the experience of my heart beating out of my chest every time I think about the fact that my life is going to change in less than 6 days.

So many people have asked me if I’m nervous or scared or worried about the surgery, and I can honestly say I’m not.  Not even one bit.  Sure, I realize there are risks, even death, but I am certain that’s not my fate.  I know it like I know my name.  The possibility of pain doesn’t faze me, either.  I’ve always had a high tolerance for pain, and I’m in good condition for someone of my weight, so I don’t think that will be much of a factor.

When I used to think of weight loss surgery, before I imagined it as an option for me, I focused on all of the restrictions to the post-op person’s diet.  Back when gastric bypass was the only surgery that anyone ever talked about.  I was so concerned about what “they” couldn’t eat, and couldn’t imagine my life with severe food limitations.  Today, after over 2 1/2 years of research, I know that there will be very few foods that are completely off limits.  Sure, there will be foods that I only enjoy on rare occasions, but I also realize that my life will be about more than food.  It will be full of all the new activities that I’ll have more energy to pursue, and all the people who I’ll have the opportunities to meet.  I’m not at all concerned about what I won’t be able to eat, but rather, excited by all that I will be able to participate in.

So I guess tonight I’m in a really peaceful, reflective mood.  It’s been a long, unsteady road along this weight loss path, but on Monday as I wake up from surgery, I’ll take that deep breath and I will start on the exciting new leg of my journey.

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CCLuv finally got on the wordpress account!!! So, now all of us can write about our journey on SBD. I can’t wait to read what each of us has to say. I’m sure we’re going to find some great advice, encouragement, and hopefully quite a few whoo hooos as we lose weight!!!

Keep those posts coming, ladies!

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December 1. Today’s the day. I started SBD. I woke up this morning and weighed myself so I could have an official “starting weight.” The number on the scale this morning is the highest number I’ve ever recorded for myself. Which is not to say that I haven’t weighed more than this, because I’m sure I have, I just never knew the number. It’s daunting and scary and gross and I will never see this number again as long as I live. I guarantee myself that.

I feel like I’m off to a good start. Well, it’s only 9:07am, but I do feel prepared and organized. I’m glad that we took a few weeks to get started with this, rather than jumping right in. It gave me time to prepare myself mentally and to get all the things I’m going to need ready.

Yesterday I got plenty of food at TJ’s although I still need to pick up a couple of things at Safeway. Name brand items that they don’t carry at TJs and that I like: V-8, Knudson Lowfat cottage cheese, etc.

I even made my breakfast and lunch yesterday, because I knew I was going to be up early today to proctor the SATs. I’m very proud of myself for doing that. I hope I can keep it up. In some ways, I think this SBD is going to help me stay more organized and orderly in my everyday life. It almost forces you to think ahead and prepare food. That might be a side benefit, besides losing weight.

I can’t wait for one week from today, when I get on the scale and see some amount of weight loss. I really don’t care how much it is, as long as it’s in the downward direction.

I’m glad that we’re all doing this diet/new food lifestyle together, although I think we each need to remember that we’re all at different levels and what works for one of us may not work for all of us. I think we need to make sure that we’re not judging each other. A bit of this came out last night in conversation, and it worried me. Ultimately, we’re each responsible only to ourselves, and the others are there for moral support and encouragement.

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As December 1st gets closer, I am really excited about starting the SBD. As with any new endeavor I undertake, I have lots of plans, lists, goals, and expectations. I’m going into this with high hopes and the best of intentions, but I’m also worried/fearful.

The only diet that I’ve ever lost a significant amount of weight on was Jenny Craig. It was pretty easy — eat that food, don’t cheat, try to workout, and you’ll lose weight. You may or may not learn anything to take with you after you stop the diet, but you are pretty much guaranteed to lose weight while your following it. No prep time — just pay your money for the food, heat it, eat it. Easy. Of course, both times I was on Jenny Craig, I also gained everything back, and then some. Not really a success story.

So now I have this new goal, this new plan, this new lifestyle. It seems very do-able, especially with the built in support of BeachGirly and CCLuv. I know I’ll follow the program to the letter for at least a few weeks, because I’m really good about starting things like this. But still, I am worried that after a few weeks I’m going to fall into old patterns and go off the plan, eat too much of the wrong things and stay this same fat self. I’m not so good with the follow through when it comes to weight loss and working out. I always start strong but haven’t managed to maintain any level of lifestyle change for too long.

Not that I’m going into this with a negative attitude, because I’m not. I’m just trying to put this out there so that I can recognize my weaknesses and try to work on them. By acknowledging that this is a pattern for me, I’m hoping to break it.

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I’m trying not to think in a deprivation mentality in relation to the South Beach Diet, but…

Knowing that most carbs (bread, rice, pasta, fruit) are going to be off limits for 2 weeks, I’m getting plenty of them in this week. I bought some amazing rosemary sourdough bread that I enjoyed two nights in a row with some Italian wedding soup. I LOVE that soup so much, but the little pastinas definitely aren’t SB-friendly.

I’m looking forward to embarking on this new weight loss program, and can’t wait to see the results — both physically and mentally. I can’t wait to see those initial water weight plans shed themselves, which will no doubt give me tons of encouragement. I also can’t wait to have more energy. I’ve been feeling so sluggish lately, and I really hate that.

The one trepidation I have is about being organized enough with the food. I’m going to have to make sure the pantry, fridge, and freezer are well stocked with SB-friendly food that is easy to prepare. I’m planning on trying to do plenty of cooking/prep work on the weekends so that during the week, all I have to do is cook the food. I’m also going to use the Dream Dinner mentality of making a few things at once (cooking 4 chicken breasts instead of just one) so I have dinner already cooked and ready to reheat.

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December 1st is “D” day for us. Diet day. The first day of the rest of our lives and all of that stuff. I’m excited and anxious to get started, but think that taking a week to really prepare is going to help to set myself up for a a success that I’ve never experienced before with weight loss.

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