HYC Update: A “blip” and now moving on

Happy Tuesday, Everyone!

I find it incredibly ironic that on the same day that I can proudly post 25 pounds gone, I also have a confession to make.

Some of you might’ve seen the writing on the wall.  I know that I did, in a subconscious way.  First I wrote last week about being bored.  Then I indulged in a glass of wine at Sunday dinner at my parents’ house.  Add to that some financial strain that’s going to occur next month, and the fact that my house seems so alone without Lulu.  And yesterday I told LC that I was really craving McDonalds, but she discouraged me, telling me how sick I would get.  And then I went to Target to pick up a few household essentials, along with a bunch of junk food.

I filled my cart with Tater Tots, hot dogs,  TGIF sliders, Pepperidge Farm cookies, and ice cream. But this episode was different from any other “binge” I’ve ever had.  I had one slider, about a cup of Tater Tots, 2 cookies, 1 hot dog, and less than a 1/4 of the pint of ice cream.  Somewhere in between bites of the junk I realized a few things:

1. It didn’t taste that great. In fact, it was pretty gross.
2. I didn’t want to completely screw up all the progress I have been making.
3. I was feeling literally sick to my stomach after just a bit of it.
4. I was disgusted with this addict behavior.
5. I was so physically uncomfortable that I just had to STOP.

I literally had a bit of each thing and then just threw it all out.  And then I threw out all that was leftover in the fridge and freezer.  I’ve never stopped myself like that before. So this is progress.

The other big sign of improvement is that I’m sharing this with you.  In the past whenever I’ve binged I kept it to myself, or possibly told Scale Warfare about it, but that was it.  And it would’ve been easy for me to just avoid this blog.  I thought about it, asked SW about it, and then followed her advice (and my own gut) and decided to lay it all out here.  Because if this blog is my chronicle of my journey to health then I have to be honest about time times I stumble along the way.

And that’s exactly what I’m considering last night – a brief stumble.  I’m not going to beat myself up about it.  In fact, I’m actually glad that it happened, in a weird sort of way.  It shows me that I’m still working through things.  That sometimes I will still turn to food.  But that I am in control of what I do.  And that I have enough sense to prevent major damage and derailment of all that I’ve accomplished.

This morning is a brand new day.  Last night is behind me, and I am not  going to dwell on it.  Today I am going to be on plan and back to it.  I have a friend coming over with her new puppy, which will be fun.  Then I have a bunch of other errands to do, and so I’ll be busy.  And I’m planning on ending the day with some time at the gym with LC.

Tomorrow the scale is going on Spring Break along with me.  You might call it avoidance (and you might be right), but I call it giving myself a pass.  I know it’s likely to be ugly, and rather than feel bad about myself, I’m just going to give myself this week off and make sure that next week I see really good numbers.

As Tina pointed out in her comment, I used to avoid the scale all the time whenever I’d have a bad week.  And if I do that again, that would be feeding that pattern of behavior.  So, here’s what I’m going to do – I’m going to get on the scale tomorrow, but I’m not going to make the weigh-in post public.  That way, I know where I stand and I’ll know what I have to do to move forward, but I can keep the info private.  So tomorrow’s blog post is going to be password protected, and only I’ll have the PW.  That way, I can still keep a record of what happened, but I’m the only one who will know the results.  Because I’ve made progress, but I guess haven’t made enough progress to post a gain on here right now.

I hope you all have a great week –  I know I will.
My attitude will lead my actions and my actions determine my success.

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Weigh-In Wednesday: Fresh Start

As I mentioned earlier this week, I’ve decided that today is going to be a fresh start for me.  My weight hasn’t been doing much this year (other than going up and down and up again), and mentally I just need a fresh start to get back on track and refocus on my goal. 

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking this week about the reasons that I want to lose weight, and I’m re-committing myself to it with those reasons at the forefront of my mind.  The main thing that my weight loss journey lacked up to this point was consistency.  One week I’d be great on food and activity, and the next I’d let things slide.  Consistency is the key to weight loss.  I see it in other bloggers’ progress – those who have made weight loss a true lifestyle change are eating, tracking, and exercising as if it’s second nature.  And that’s what I am going to do. 

So, let’s get to the scale.  This is my new, official starting weight weigh-in photo:

It is what it is, and I have no where to go from here but down.  A recent commentor said that I shouldn’t look back and beat myself up over the lack of movement on the scale, but I disagree to some extent.  I need to know where I’ve been in order to celebrate future successes.  Which is the reason for this new beginning. I changed my starting weight on WW.com and on the ticker on this blog, and I’m ready for a new start, beginning today. 

It feels so good to have a new starting point.  Even if the number on the scale is creeping frighteningly close to 300, I know that from here on out, I never have to see that number again, as long as I keep the goal in mind and remain consistent in my efforts. 

Here’s to a new day, a renewal, and a rebirth.

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HYC Update – Spring, a Fresh Start

Happy Tuesday, everyone!

This week I have some big announcements that I’m feeling really good about.  Before I share them with you, let me give you some background.

I had a bad weigh-in last week, due in large part to TOM.  But that alone wasn’t the cause of a 4 pound gain.  I haven’t been giving the food my all, and I definitely hadn’t been getting all the water in.  Before you give me any tips about how to drink more water, let me say it’s not the drinking it that’s the problem as much as being free to take bathroom breaks during the workday.  I only have two opportunities to “go” from 8am-2:25pm, so it makes drinking a decent amount of water a challenge, but I have a workaround that’s working, which I’ll share in the minute.  To top it off, I heard some bad news regarding my job on Friday (don’t worry, I still have one), and let’s just say that I didn’t take it that well.  I tried to stay positive, but I think it upset me more than I realized, and I took it out on myself by making some poor food choices over the weekend.  Self-sabotage is a bitch.

The thing is, this past week wasn’t really any different than any other week so far in 2010.  My starting weight on Dec. 30 was lower than my first weigh-in, and ever since then I’ve been feeling as if I’m playing (and losing) at a game of catch up.  So, I decided that I’m not going to do that to myself.  I’m not going to keep seeing a loss, only to record an overall gain for 2010.  It affects me too deeply emotionally when I see that overall gain.  So, I’ve decided to reset my starting weight to whatever the scale shows tomorrow. That way spring brings with it a truly fresh start.  I’ve recently made some changes that are helping my weight loss (last week not withstanding), and I want a chance to show myself that I CAN do this.  Some of you may think of this as a cop out, but I consider it TAKING ACTION.  And really, I’m the only one that I have to satisfy with this decision.  I’m the only one that can make it happen.

This will be a four-pronged approach:

1. Food. I changed the number of points that I use as my target from 33 (WW recommendation) to 28, which feels like a much more realistic number.  I don’t waste my points on filler foods, and just stick to eating 3 healthy meals and 2 snacks throughout the day.
2. Water. Getting enough water to stay hydrated is almost as important as making sure to eat the right foods.  As I mentioned above, it’s a struggle to drink the water between the hours of 8-2:30 because of my regimented bell schedule at work.  I can drink the water, but if I’m bursting at the seams because I can’t use the restroom, that does no good.  So, I will drink 2 glasses of water before I leave the house in the morning, 2-3 glasses at work, and the rest when I get home from work.
3. Activity. My goal in the past was a bit too high, I think.  I’d always say I want to get 6 days in, but I wouldn’t be able to make it, because life does get in the way, especially with my busy schedule.  So my new goal is to get in at least 30 minutes of activity 5 days a week. I’ve really been enjoying doing lots of different activities and exercises, so as long as I make time 3 weekdays and both weekends, this shouldn’t be too hard to reach.
   
4. Mind. I always try to keep a positive attitude. In fact one recent commenter told me that she found my blog when she did a Google search on the words “positive attitude.”  How cool is that?  But even the most positive person gets down on herself from time to time, and I am no exception. Going into this new spring season, I’m going to keep yesterday’s post in mind.  I will not be the brick wall that impedes my own progress.  I have to take to heart that if I believe in myself enough, and keep my ultimate goal in mind, I will eventually succeed. Even more that the goal, I have to keep the REASONS for the goal in mind.  To be healthy, to live life to the fullest, and to look as beautiful as I feel.

Spring, a time of renewal and rebirth.  And that’s just what I’m going to do.

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