Happy Sunday! I’m Back!! (Mega Post)

Geez, it feels like forever since I’ve written a blog entry, right?  I’m so sorry.  I think about this blog all the time, but lately I just don’t have enough hours in the day to get in the right mind space to write a good post.  I’ve missed it so much, though, and really want to make the blog a priority again. Since this is a “catch-up” post, it’s going to be long, so sit back, grab a drink, and enjoy…

Please don’t take my lack of writing as a sign that I’ve “fallen off the wagon,” because that couldn’t be further from the truth.  I’ve been maintaining my weight since my last weigh in post, probably because I haven’t been able to dedicate as much time as I should be to working out.  Most days I’ll fit some cardio in, but lately I’ve been really hit and miss with the toning workouts.  My food has been great, though, which is why the scale is holding steady at 171.

I really, REALLY want to see the 160s soon, but to do that, I know that I need to kick my workouts into high gear, drink plenty of water, and make sure my protein intake is high.  I’m 21 pounds from my ultimate goal weight, and I would really like to make more progress towards that goal before the end of the year. So for the rest of this month, and actually, for the rest of the year, I’m going to make sure I’m on point with my food and my workouts.  Except of course on the holidays – Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, & Christmas Day – I’m going to allow for indulgences, although I’ll probably get a workout in on all of those days to help compensate.  Which is not to say I’m not going to enjoy a glass or two of wine with my friends or family or have a few beers on SundayFunday while watching the 49ers – I want to enjoy life, but I also want to make sure I’m getting in a good calorie burn on those days to keep it all in balance.

Speaking of balance, in order to make sure I’m not totally abandoning this blog or all of my blogging buddies, I’m going to get back in the habit of setting aside an hour a day towards “blogging.”  If I have something to write, I’ll make sure to post, but if not, I want to visit all of the blogs I love to read but have been neglecting lately.  Blogging is still a passion of mine, and what I attribute much of my weight loss success to.  It’s been an amazing vehicle for my emotions, struggles, ideas, and inspirations.  And reading blogs is just as important as writing my own.  So it’s time to get back into it, full force, no matter how busy I am.

I’ve really been enjoying my new job, even though I am getting used to the longer hours.  The thing is, on a daily basis, I’m working later than I did when I was teaching, but the fantastic part is, once I’m home, I leave work at work. No hours spent grading essays on the weekends. Or more accurately, no hours guiltily agonizing over the essays that I should be grading, but aren’t.  I do miss the interaction with my students and the colleagues at the high school where I’d been working for the past 10 years, but this new phase of my career is really nice.  It’s a welcome break from all the stress that comes with being a teacher, especially an English teacher.  Plus, I adore the new teachers that I’m working with, and I think I’m really making a difference in their professional lives, which in turn has an effect on the hundreds of students that they’re teaching.  All in all, I’m really glad that I made the move.

In terms of life, things are good.  I’ve been seeing friends and family here and there, enjoying football and baseball season, and I checked two major items off my #FriskyFall Bucket List:

Going Apple Picking: I was able to tag along with my niece’s Girl Scout Troop (my sister is their troop leader).  We headed to fun little apple orchard in Watsonville, which coincidentally is owned by a family who’s grandkids attend my niece’s elementary school.  I love that we supported a local family!  It was a really fun day, and the apples we got were delicious.

Heading to a Half Moon Bay Pumpkin Patch: My sister and I headed up to Half Moon Bay a few weekends ago to get our pumpkins for all of our Halloween decorations.  Sure, the local grocery stores have pumpkins for sale, but nothing like the variety available at  the pumpkin patches in HMB.  Plus, it’s a nice drive, and we took advantage of the sunny day and drove the Beetle with the top down.  Wheelbarrow in hand, we explored the entire pumpkin patch for just the right pumpkins, and boy did we!

 

There have been a couple of milestones that I’ve enjoyed while I’ve taken some time off this blog.

The first was going to my 25th high school reunion.  What a difference 5 years made!  I remember how I felt before my 20th reunion: very embarrassed about the way I was looking, how much weight I’d gained, the fact that I was single, and just sort of nervous about seeing all these girls I went to school with after so long.  I ended up having a good time, but when I saw the photos we took that night, I wasn’t happy with the person I saw.  Fast forward to this year – I couldn’t wait for the reunion because I felt so confident in everything I’d been doing. Not just my weight loss, but my overall outlook in life.  I was still single, but it wasn’t as much of an issue because I knew that there are lots of possibilities in that area.

Next up, on the NSV list is the purchase of new, size 10 jeans!! I’d been wearing my size 12s all spring and summer, and while I knew they were a bit loose, I didn’t realize how much until one of my colleagues saw me at the SAT and told me how baggy they were on me.  The next Monday I was at the mall, and was so proud that I found several pair that not only fit, but looked good.

As you can see, the boot legs are still too long on me, even though they’re “shorts;”  I have to take them to the tailor to have them hemmed. This is a new first for me.  I never remember owning and wearing size 10s –  ever!  I’m really proud of myself, and this is a great NSV because even though my weight loss has stayed the same, I’m still loosing inches, which is so nice.

One last NSV is all about Halloween. My Halloween costume, specifically.  It’s been so long since I’ve been able to wear any costume I want, right off the shelf of a costume shop.  In the past, I’ve had to select from the slim pickings of the plus size section or the super-expensive plus size costumes available online.  Not this year!  I knew I’d have my choice of whatever costume I wanted.  Such an amazing feeling.  So when I went to a local vintage clothing store to see what they had to offer, I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted.  I knew it would either be a 50’s-esque retro dress or something dark and gothic.

I went with the latter because I’d purchased this cool “buried bauble” from Bauble Bar, and knew it would be great for Halloween.

So when I found this costume, and then realized it was on sale for 50% off, I knew I was going to transform into Vampira for Halloween (more on this in another post).

So that’s what’s been going on in my life.  I’m really going to make more of an effort to write more posts, because I really still enjoy it.  In fact, I have some fun to share with you in my next post, so I’d better end this one so I can start that one.

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Sofi’s Here!!!

While Sofi’s napping I just wanted to quickly tell you that Sofi got here safely and we’re having a good time getting to know each other.

She’s very hesitant and is taking her time to get her bearings, but she’s doing great. She’s a doll!!!

I couldn’t be happier!!

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Finally! Back to Blogging

I am thrilled that my new power cord came today and I can get back to writing again.  I was telling ScaleWarfare that I feel so out of sorts when I’m not blogging/writing.  I absolutely hate it.  Blogging has become like breathing for me.  It centers me, it calms me, it helps me think, express, emote, and I feel lost without it.

And before you suggest that I could just write it down the old-fashioned way with pen and paper, I have to tell you that I type so much faster than I write that I simply can’t get my thoughts out quickly enough unless I’m typing.  It’s like I can’t compose a word unless I’m in front of my computer.

So there you have it.  A dedicated blogger who was forced to put down her keyboard for a few days lived to tell the tale.  And is now going to get busy with all of the posts she has swimming in her head.

Get ready to read!!!

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A bit more of me to love

No, this isn’t a post about me gaining a ton of holiday weight.  🙂  Today I finally decided to stop writing on two different blogs.  For years, I’ve kept up a weight loss blog (this one!) and a “life” blog, where I chronicled “everything else.”

As I thought about it, I was rarely writing on the life blog, and I have been writing on here on an almost daily basis.  It make sense – weight loss is the focus of my life right now, and what consumes most of my free time.  So, for now, I’ve “closed” my life blog and I’ll be writing about my entire life on this blog. Because if weight loss is going to be a lifestyle, it makes sense that I incorporate everything in one place.  It seems more natural and organic.  I’ll still keep the life blog around, because it’s the original, and I’m sure when my journey has ended and  there’s not much more to say about weight loss (whenever that day comes), I’ll go back to writing over there.

For now, this is my sole blogging focus, which is so much easier for me.  I don’t think that many things will change, because weight loss is the topic that I is the nearest and dearest to my heart right now, but it will be fun to infuse a few other things into this blog.

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The new car!!!!

I love, love, LOVE the new car  that I bought yesterday!!!  It’s my new little blueberry, and I can’t wait to really take it out on the road for a spin.    To read more about it, click here. (There’s a link to a photo with me and the car that you might want to check out).

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Reminded to Live My Best Possible Life

Yesterday my grandmother passed away and since then I’ve been in a very strange mindset.  I’m sad, but relieved, and happy that her pain is over; both mentally and physically.  My grandmother lived her life regretting so much and feeling embittered for those regrets, and if I have learned nothing else from her, it is that I don’t want to do the same thing.

This morning as I’ve been reflecting on everything and I’ve come to really, truly realize how precious this life is.  Not in a Hallmark card sort of way, but I’ve really FELT it.  I know we all know how short life is, but today it really struck me that I need to stop spinning my wheels and wasting my life being fat and really get myself in gear and live the life I am meant to have.

My grandmother always told me how pretty I was (complimenting me on my skin, my application of eyeliner, etc.), but I also know that she always wished I was at a healthier weight.  For my appearance, sure, but also so that I wouldn’t have health problems.  Toward the end of her life my grandmother always talked about the importance of being healthy.  And while she was never overweight, she didn’t lead an active lifestyle and I do believe that that contributed to many of her health problems (and issues of depression) later in life.

So I’m going to take these lessons and really put them into action.  I don’t want to live a life that isn’t all that it could have been.  I want to make sure that I am making each day count, that I am appreciating the gift that is life and family and friends, and the best way for me to show my gratitude for all the blessings I have is to take control of my health.  No more half-assed, pussy footing around weight loss for me.  I’m really going to act as if my life depends on losing weight, because it does.

I’ve been really sick with a terrible cold all week so I haven’t made it to any of the workouts I had planned earlier in the week, but I have been doing well on food, and I AM going to a WW meeting tomorrow, despite everything else that’s going on.  I need to, and I don’t want to put it off any longer.

That it will never come again

Is what makes life so sweet.

~Emily Dickinson

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Stop the roller coaster

I am so sick and tired of this roller coaster I seem to be on. I’m “in the zone” with working out and eating well for days (or weeks on end), and then suddenly I’m tempted to slack off into couch potato mode where I eat something that I know I shouldn’t be.

Case in point — I’ve been doing really well this week with working out and eating, and then suddenly yesterday, everything goes out the window. I make poor choices which makes me feel badly about myself, and then I start to spiral. There are always great excuses and “valid reasons” for why I make the poor choices, but really, the key thing is, they are CHOICES. I am choosing to break the commitment I’ve made to myself to follow SBD and workout regularly so that I can lose weight.

I’m not sure why I get into these weak moments of self-sabotage. I truly want to lose the weight, and I don’t have any feelings of “well, I like being fat because then I can hide” type of mentality. I don’t hide, even at this weight. I’m out there, vivacious, loud, and enjoying life. I know that being at my goal weight will only help me enjoy life that much more. So why do I give in to these lapses?

I think that it’s an instant gratification kind of thing. I know that working out takes effort, and it’s so much easier to spend the day reading a book or catching up with the blogs I like to read on a regular basis. I tell myself I’ve earned the downtime, considering how crazy life has been as of late. And breaking down and going to the store and buying some crack Ben &Jerry’s ice cream is only going to make me feel worse, not better. But try telling that to me when I get the craving and can’t think of anything else.

Somehow I’ve got to resist these lazy, slothlike urges. Somehow I’ve got to tell myself that slacking off is what got me to the weight I am, and nothing is ever going to change unless I truly commit to this new lifestyle.

I woke up this morning wanting to write this post so that I would be accountable and real. I think it’s the first step for me to get off this roller coaster ride. Because it’s going to be a lot more fun to actually fit into the seat of a real roller coaster once I lose the weight.

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