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FMM: Relationships & Dating

Happy Monday! It’s been a few weeks since I’ve been able to write up an FMM post, and I’m really looking forward to participating.  This weekend was a fun one – I went to a Beauty Trend Show at Nordstrom on Saturday and treated myself to a couple of products as a reward for losing 90 pounds.  Sunday I spent the day with family, watching my 49ers lose, and saying goodbye to Dexter as I watched the series finale.

But let’s get to this week’s Friend Makin’ Monday. I’m really interested in this week’s topic because after years of taking myself off the market when it comes to dating, I think I *may* finally be ready to dip my toe in the pond.  My friends keep encouraging me to join an online dating site, and I think I may do it next month.  (One of my goals for the year was to join an online dating site before the end of November, so this would be a bit ahead of schedule).

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

 

FMM: Relationships and Dating

1.  List five characteristics that you think are important in a significant other.

1. Attraction – It’s not all about looks, but I do think being physically attracted to someone is a big factor.
2. Intelligence – He’s got to match me, otherwise I’ll be bored.
3. Financial Security – I want my guy to at least make what I do, which isn’t too difficult, considering the paltry sum I get paid to teach.
4. Ambition – I’m very ambitious, both with my career and in the goals I’ve set for myself, and it would be better if my guy was of a similar mindset.
5. Fun – It’s really important that we can have a good time together.  Our idea of how we like to spend leisure time should match up.

2.  If you had to choose between staying single for the next two years (as in, no dating at all,) or receiving $10,000, which would you choose?  At first I thought I’d take the money, but $10,000 isn’t enough to for two years.  If it was $50K or more, I’d probably choose the money. I’m used to being single (I haven’t dated in 4 years), and I can always use more money.

3.  What is your relationship status?  Are you satisfied with it?  I’m single and have been for longer than I can remember.  Even when I was dating over 4 years ago, it wasn’t really a “significant other” situation.  So, I guess I’d say I’m very comfortable with the life I’ve created, but having someone romantic in my life would be a nice addition.

4.  Would you date someone who has children?  Since I’ve made the decision not to have children, I’d prefer if the guy I’m dating doesn’t have children living with him.  Or has children who are older – late teens.

5.  Would you date someone who’s shorter than you?  No.  I’m 5″3′ and I don’t want to date someone who’s less than 5″9′ in his socks.  I like taller guys.

6.  Would you date someone who has different political views?  No, I’d find it difficult to date someone who’s core beliefs were vastly different from my own.

7.  If you were going on vacation together, would you choose the beach or the mountains?  It really depends.  I think both venues could be really romantic.  I love the beach (obvi – blog title and all), but cozying up in a mountain cabin could be really fun, too.

8.  How do you show someone that you’re interested in them?  Flirting?  It’s been so long I’m wayyyyy out of practice.  I think in person, it’s all about eye contact.

9.  Do you prefer to date people who are older than you or younger?  It really doesn’t matter. I think I’m young at heart, so I could date younger very easily.  But as long as the person had the characteristics I’m looking for, older would be fine, too.

10.  Share some details of your dream date. A dream date would be anything the guy put effort into planning.  I have lots of interests and can enjoy all sorts of venues, so something that meant he was thinking of me as he figured it out would mean a lot and really impress me.

Now it’s your turn to answer the questions!   And also be sure to go back to Kenlie’s blog and leave a link to your FMM post in the comments!  I really encourage you to comment on as many people’s posts as you can – I’ve met some fantastic people through FMM.  You never know who you’ll meet today.

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HYC Update: Shopping! (plus a possible “boy situation”)

Happy Tuesday, everyone!

There’s nothing quite like feeling all snuggly in the fall and winter time, wearing your favorite pj’s and cuddling up on the couch to watch a movie, or under the  covers to read that book you’ve been dying to dive into.  One of the things I was looking forward to in this new house was that the private yard would mean I could stay in my pj’s as long as I wanted to and wouldn’t have to worry about the neighbors seeing me every time I wanted to go outside with Lulu (in the backyard, of course).  On the weekends that I don’t have plans, I live in my pj’s.  The problem has been that all of my old pj’s were, well, old.  Worn out, faded, threadbare.  And Lane Bryant stopped making warm & cuddly pj’s in favor of sexy ones.  I’m sure some people appreciate that, but I wanted comfy, cozy pj’s.  And Monday I got a catalog from Woman Within that had the cutest pj’s ever!

(Let me say that I don’t normally shop at Woman Within because I find that most of their clothes fit in the “old lady” section, but I was pleasantly surprised by the winter catalog).

Not only did they have pj’s, but they had great prices on cotton undies (aka granny panties, but who cares?), socks, workout/lounge pants, and t-shirts.  I stocked up!  I even found two cute pairs of shoes.  All for much, much less than I expected.  I’m set for weekend comfort, that’s for sure.

Here’s what I got… (click on anything to make it bigger)

I like that the pj sets come with long-sleeved t-shirts instead of heavier tops, because I tend to sleep warm.  Plus, I have plenty of sweatshirts/cardigans I can layer if I get too cold.

Each set of pj’s came with a free pair of slippers, so I got 1 red pair and 1 navy pair.

I got these in black & charcoal gray.  These are perfect for working out, but also for lazing around or going to the dog park/running errands/walks with Lulu on the weekends or after work during the week.

The sneakers I got are actually full size, not mules as this photo shows (kind of like photo with the pants, above).  I have been wanting some easy, knock-around sneakers for the dog park/easy walking.  These are great because they’re a good color and they’re wide width.

And I also got one in a violet color.  I’m always in need to workout t-shirts, and these will be perfect.  They’re a soft, combed cotton, which will be nice.  Plus, they were so cheap – $5.99 each!!

I’ve been needing some casual brown flats that are wide width, so when I saw these, and they were on sale, I knew I had to try them.  They aren’t that pretty to look at, but they’re perfect for standing on my feet all day at school.  (One of the things I’m really looking forward to “some day” is wearing sexier shoes and not feeling like I’d rather cut off my feet than wear them another second).

I also got panties and socks, but you know what those look like.  Not too thrilling, but they had such good prices, I figured, why not save a trip to the mall.

I have plenty of sweaters from last winter, so I’m really all set for now until I start going down in sizes.  Can’t wait for that!!

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The “boy situation”

A few of you who follow me on Twitter might remember that a couple of weeks ago I mentioned that an old crush of mine changed his relationship status to single on Facebook.  And I “liked” it.  (So, high school, I know). But it was a fairly big move for me, since I haven’t dated anyone in a long, long time.

To give you some background, this guy dated a former friend of mine (she and I haven’t spoken for over 2 years, so girl code doesn’t apply), and at the time she said that she thought J and I would be better together than she would with him.  She knew he was totally my type (stocky, strong build, olive skin, dark hair), and his larger than life personality was a perfect match for my own.  (I’ve always felt that I needed to date someone who could “match” me in that area.  I don’t want to be with someone who I feel I could “walk all over”).  And while he doesn’t have a formal education (college degree), he owns his own import/export business, as well as his own house.  He’s Portuguese, which is as close to Italian as you can get without actually being Italian.  🙂  Plus, he’s just a fun person to be around and always makes sure that everyone around him is having a good time.  I thought J was cute back then, and I got some vibes from him that he felt the same way about me, but because he was dating my friend, we both put those feelings aside.  And then when they broke up we didn’t see each other because we don’t really run in the same circles.  (The only down side to J, and this is a fairly large one, is that he has two kids by two different baby-mamas.  Not sure how much drama that entails, but it seems like there would be some, right?).

Anyway… Friday evening J wrote on my Facebook page:

J: Nice doggy
B: Thanks, she’s a sweetheart.  Hope you’re doing well
J: Doing very well
J: And u? {I hate that ‘u’ instead of ‘you,’ but I’m going to put that English teacher part of me aside}.
B: Life is good.
J: That’s good.
J: Hit me up sometime xxx-xxxx
B: I will.
{and then I chickened out and wrote today)
B: Maybe it’s easier for you to call me? xxx-xxxx (Most days after 4-5pm ’till 11, or so).

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 !!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, so to most of you that’s not that big a thing, but to me, who has been dateless for over 2 years (mostly by my choice), this is fairly big.  I mean, I’m not wrong in thinking that he’s flirting here, right?  I am a bit concerned that it’s so soon after he broke up with his last girlfriend, but then again, I’m not getting married.  I’m just looking for someone to have a good time with – in terms of going on dates and hanging out;  I’m not DTF (Jersey Shore fans will know what I mean; others can look it up on Urban Dictionary, if they want to), because we’ll have to be really dating (aka girlfriend/boyfriend defined) before that happens.

I can’t help but go over in my mind that I’m a good 60 pounds heavier than the last time J saw me.  Which makes me feel unattractive, no matter how pretty he might consider my face.  Which sort of puts a downer on this whole thing, and I don’t want to go there right now.  I mean, I have very current pictures of myself (mostly face, but some full-ish body) on Facebook, and J is sure to have a decent idea of what I look like now and he was interested enough to contact me.  So I shouldn’t try to assume what his type is or whether or not he thinks I’m too fat, because he obviously doesn’t. (I love it when I give myself a little kick in the ass like that, don’t you?!)

And my biggest problem has always been getting too far ahead of myself, so for now, I’m just going to hope that he makes the phone call and we even want to go out on a date (for coffee or a drink or something easy).  Plus, there are a few red flags with this guy, although his pluses outweigh his minuses, at this point. No matter what, it’s exciting.  And something to occupy my mind besides weight loss, grading, and t.v.  LOL.

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