Talk about spoiled! Driving with the top down on a sunny, 70-degree day in January!
Happy Sunday! I seem to begin every new blog post this way lately…it’s been far too long since my last post. To be honest, I really don’t know why. My new position as a new teacher advisor does make my work day a bit longer than when I was teaching, but I also don’t have any grading, so that’s not really it. I think I’ve just gotten out of the habit. When something exciting or fun happens, my first thought is “I’ll put it on Instagram” rather than, “I’ll write a blog post.” Maybe it’s just that my interaction with social media has changed? In any case, I do still love writing and getting my thoughts out, and I would like to blog more often in 2015. Anything would be better than what I’ve been doing in the last 6 months, right?
Romance Update – Currently there’s nothing on the horizon in terms of dating. Since my last update, I’ve gone on a few dates. A few of them were promising, but then things just sort of fell apart. It seems to be the norm with online dating that people just kind of disappear. Things are going well, we’re texting or talking daily, we may go on a date or two, text and talk less frequently, and then it’s just radio silence. It gets really disappointing. As much as I really want to meet someone and get into a relationship, this whole process is very frustrating. Right now I’m on a bit of a break because I just wasn’t seeing many people who interest me. When I’m out and about, watching football or enjoying a meal with friends, I don’t get approached by guys. Maybe it’s too intimidating to come up to a group, or maybe I’m just not giving off the approachable vibe. Friends in person or on social media tell me how pretty I am (without trying to sound conceited), and I’ve lost all this weight and I look so much healthier, so why is it that I can’t seem to meet someone? I’m not giving up, but it’s hard not to lose hope.
Fitness Update – Just like blogging, I haven’t been in the gym much in these last 4-5 months, but that doesn’t mean my fitness routine has gone totally out the window. 4-5 times a week I workout at home. Cardio is either jumping on my home elliptical or doing a HIIT routine. For toning, I’ve been following the plan that ToneItUp.com puts out every Sunday. I really enjoy their workouts because they’re easy to do and I notice a difference in the way my body looks and feels when I do them regularly. But I do miss going to the gym because there is a better variety of equipment there. Plus, seeing other people pushing themselves really motivates me. So I want to start going to the gym to workout or take classes at least twice a week moving forward.
Weight Update – I’m pleased to say that I’m at my lowest weight to date – 170.0. I’m soooooo close to getting into the 160s!! I know that if I just stick to eating protein and veggies, limiting starches like rice, potatoes, and bread to midday meals most days, I will reach the next weight category soon. Moving forward, my plan is to continue doing what I know how to do – prepare flavorful, healthy meals and keep indulgences to once or twice a week.
Remembering Why I Love Blogging Update – Two weeks ago I participated in the SF Hot Chocolate 5K, and as my cousin, her friends, and I were waiting for the race to start, a woman came up to me and said, “Do you have a blog?” When I said yes, she introduced herself as a longtime blog reader. I was stunned that someone who reads my blog recognized me on that dark, early morning and took the time to say hello. She said some other really heartwarming things, and it put me in such a great mood. It also made me feel very guilty about the infrequency of my blog posts lately.
Body Consciousness Update – As I’ve written about so much in the past, even though I’m so proud of how my body has transformed with my weight loss, I’m also very self-conscious of the way my body looks. Lots of loose skin that will never tighten up or show muscle tone not matter how many squats and lunges I perform. I was talking with a male friend recently, and he really gave me a pep talk that helped me change the way I think about my body. He and I got into a long, deep conversation, and he told me that the way I feel about myself is really all in my head. When I explained my fears about someone seeing me naked and getting an unpleasant surprise because the way I look in clothes is so much better than without, he said I was crazy. He told me that anyone who sees me has a very good idea of how I look, and that the loose skin that bothers me so much isn’t something that would put most guys off; at least not someone who is worth getting that intimate with. He told me that I have a beautiful body, and his sincerity with the entire discussion assured me that he wasn’t just staying things to make me feel better. He also said that I really need to get over this insecurity, because he’s sure that it spills over into the way I interact with the men I’m dating, and that it’s been holding me back in a major way. I can’t disagree with him. Ever since our conversation last Sunday, I’ve been doing my best to reframe the way I think about my body. You guys know how determined I can be, and I’ve decided to channel that determination into this new appreciation of how I look right now.
So that’s what’s been going on. I hope you’ve all been doing well, and if you’ve read this far, I want to thank you for continuing to support me, despite my long absences.
Bella on the Beach 