Posts Tagged ‘ups and downs’


I am so sick and tired of this roller coaster I seem to be on. I’m “in the zone” with working out and eating well for days (or weeks on end), and then suddenly I’m tempted to slack off into couch potato mode where I eat something that I know I shouldn’t be.

Case in point — I’ve been doing really well this week with working out and eating, and then suddenly yesterday, everything goes out the window. I make poor choices which makes me feel badly about myself, and then I start to spiral. There are always great excuses and “valid reasons” for why I make the poor choices, but really, the key thing is, they are CHOICES. I am choosing to break the commitment I’ve made to myself to follow SBD and workout regularly so that I can lose weight.

I’m not sure why I get into these weak moments of self-sabotage. I truly want to lose the weight, and I don’t have any feelings of “well, I like being fat because then I can hide” type of mentality. I don’t hide, even at this weight. I’m out there, vivacious, loud, and enjoying life. I know that being at my goal weight will only help me enjoy life that much more. So why do I give in to these lapses?

I think that it’s an instant gratification kind of thing. I know that working out takes effort, and it’s so much easier to spend the day reading a book or catching up with the blogs I like to read on a regular basis. I tell myself I’ve earned the downtime, considering how crazy life has been as of late. And breaking down and going to the store and buying some crack Ben &Jerry’s ice cream is only going to make me feel worse, not better. But try telling that to me when I get the craving and can’t think of anything else.

Somehow I’ve got to resist these lazy, slothlike urges. Somehow I’ve got to tell myself that slacking off is what got me to the weight I am, and nothing is ever going to change unless I truly commit to this new lifestyle.

I woke up this morning wanting to write this post so that I would be accountable and real. I think it’s the first step for me to get off this roller coaster ride. Because it’s going to be a lot more fun to actually fit into the seat of a real roller coaster once I lose the weight.


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