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Posts Tagged ‘will’

Can you believe that we’re in the first week of December already?  I can’t.  This year has flown by, especially since September!  But enough of me trying to avoid talking about the weigh in.  Without further ado…

 Yep, that’s right, I gained. 4.3 pounds to be exact.  I didn’t weigh in last week, so this is technically the weight gain for  the past two weeks, but regardless, it’s a big gain, which sucks. 

I wasn’t sure what the scale would bring, because it’s TOM time again, and I didn’t track at all while I was away for Thanksgiving.  It felt freeing, in a way.  I ate when I was hungry, tried to make the best choices possible, and didn’t put too much pressure on myself.  I didn’t eat as many meals as I usually do, but my portions were bigger than normal on the meals that I did eat, so I was thinking that thing would work out in the end.  I also got a lot of walking in once we got to Chicago, which felt good.

So, moving forward into these last 3 weeks of 2009, I’m going to slowly get back in to working out.  I haven’t worked out at all since I’ve had bronchitis, but I’m finally feeling better now. The plan for this week is all about the Wii – Fit Plus, Sports Active, and Biggest Loser game.  Between those three Wii games, I should get in a decent workout each day, and slowly get my body back into working out mode.  Next week, I’m going to incorporate going to the gym on my own, along with the Wii.  The final two weeks I’ll be home on Winter Break, so I can really kick up my workouts and take some group exercise classes at the gym to get back on track to start seeing Jimmy when the new year comes. I’m really looking forward to moving my body again.  I’ve missed the sense of accomplishment that comes with it.

One thing I’ve noticed this week is that even though it’s hard to stay on a weight loss plan when away from home, it was easier not to overindulge because I wasn’t by myself at night.  My parents have always been huge supporters of mine, in life and in weight loss.  My mom is naturally slim now, although she was a bit overweight as a child.  But she sees herself as much heavier than she really is.  Growing up, she was very concerned about my sister’s and my weight, and I think we were always a bit more conscious of our eating when she was around.  I noticed that on this trip, because my parents and I were together every waking moment, I was much more conscientious about my eating.  I didn’t give in and eat more than I should just because something looked good or I had the “need” to eat.  Being in the company of other people at meal times definitely made it more of a social thing, and less about just the food itself.

Living alone, I have a lot of advantages because I only have to worry about cooking for myself and I can make anything that tickles my fancy.  The down side of living alone is that I’m not accountable to anyone.  If someone were here with me I know I wouldn’t overindulge as much as I do at night sometimes.  Even if they weren’t paying any attention to what I was doing, I know I’d never binge eat.  I care too much about appearances.  As it is now, I sometimes give in to the urges, and it’s easy for me to rationalize it to myself.

What I am going to do in these last four weeks is stop this roller coaster of gaining some, losing some, and regaining it again.  It has to end.  The way it ends is for me to stop giving in to every food whim that pops into my mind.  Especially at night.  This isn’t a holiday food and parties thing.  This is a getting a handle on my eating thing.  I need to stop fooling around and start to take this seriously, otherwise I’m going to keep doing this roller coaster dance and I’ll never get to my goal.  I need to start now so that I can begin 2010 with a renewed sense of purpose and focus on my goal.

I feel like much of this year was spent getting myself into the proper mindset.  Finding the time in my busy schedule for working out, cooking healthy meals, and preparing for the day.  I’ve got that down.  I’ve made lifestyle changes that will stick with me.  Now I need to go into 2010 with the drive and determination to take this weight off.  I need to stop playing games with myself and rationalizing when I eat more than I should.

It’s not that some people have willpower and some don’t.  It’s that some people are ready to change and others are not.” – James Gordon.

I’m ready to change! I am ready to take control! I am ready to get to goal!

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