For the month of December, I’ll be participating in #WEverb11. Each day gives a new prompt, each of which is a chance to reflect and look forward.
December 30: Meditate
Were you happy with who you were in 2011? Who do you want to be in 2012 and beyond? Contributed by Kimberly Michelle.
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I can honestly say that yes, I was happy with who I was in 2011. Even though there are lots of things I want to change about myself…
- my weight
- my control issues
- my patience (or lack thereof)
- my judgmental side
…I did do recognize that I have a lot of strong qualities and that, at my core, I’m a good person. I am likeable, intelligent, well put together, generous, creative, supportive, loyal, and kind. Sometimes I don’t write my attributes down because it seems like bragging, but I think that if I’m so quick to delineate my shortcomings, I should also be able to detail my virtues.
In 2012, I want to keep all of the things I appreciate about myself…
- my organization
- my strength
- my perseverance
- my determination
…and work on the things that I need to change. I want to finally feel completely happy with who I am on the outside, and hopefully some of the internal “issues” mentioned above will follow shortly after.
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I struggle with some of the same things I’d like to work on about myself, and I feel like weight is something I can change if I work at it, and I think I can work on control, patience, being judgmental, but then sometimes (particularly when I witness my dad’s general impatience and my mom’s judgement and control (though I think I’m more extreme than both of them, they’re lovely people, I just may have inherited or been bred into some strong and amplified negative characteristics too)), I think that I am who I am, and while I can try to smooth out the edges, and do things like yoga and counting to ten or whatever to calm myself, I’m never going to be a patient person. While I can not say things I think/judge out loud, or I can try to counter thoughts like that with a positive, I don’t know that I’ll ever really change that way of thinking. And I can try to let go of things, but the bottom line is that for things that matter to me, I’m likely to still want to control them. Maybe having a kid or something might help me on all 3 of those aspects, but since that’s not in the cards, maybe I’m just stuck with me as is. I guess I can say I’d like to change some of those characteristics about myself, but in reality, I’m not sure I ever will. Sigh. So it’s just about managing them as best I can I guess! And remembering that there are positives that counterbalance my negatives!
I think youre a very likeable person! Strong personalities are a theme here in the DC area, so I am surrounded by girlfriends with very strong personalities, which happens to be my preference. Keeps life more interesting 🙂
While I have worked a lot on my patience, I agree with Carina, I will never at my core be a truly patient person. Instead I just count to 10 (or 100 if needed) before I respond to people and I try to focus on my reaction as opposed to the other offending person.
You guys are right, I can’t change who I am 100%. I mean, to some extent, I am patient – I have to be as a teacher. But my patience is limited, and I need to learn to count to 10 (or 100) before I say the first thing that comes to mind, which is usually a smart-ass reply. I just want to be a bit less blunt, I guess.